ITLR: Deti offers some insight

M3 has been on fire lately. his last 2-3 posts have been epic.

from the comments section on M3′s blog from Deti.

“The last few posts here (the incel post, LIMBO, and now this one) are important for the manosphere because they give voice to the men who feel them. What is written in these three posts are frustrations and emotions that nearly all young men feel, but were unable to give voice to.

What is often not appreciated at all is that men cannot say things like this in public, in polite conversation, to men they don’t know well, or really anyplace other than in intense individual therapy. You certainly cannot say things like this to any woman, even one’s own mother. Most mothers who hear things like this from their sons are horrified, or offended, or internalize it to make it all about them, which only sends her son deeper inside himself.

Most young men cannot say things like this to their own fathers, mostly because dad is a paycheck who lives across town or across the country. He doesn’t even know his dad. If he is lucky enough to know his dad or live with him, dad is usually a blue piller beta himself who still has not fully dealt with his own feelings about women. “Well, you just can’t figure ‘em out. Women are real complicated, son. You just have to do the best you can. And be nice and kind to ‘em, and keep your dick in your pants. It’ll just getcha in trouble, ya know.”

To say anything like this in public is to admit to gross weakness, almost to the point of debilitation. And a woman, even a wife, simply cannot be there for a man while he feels negative emotions like anger, despair, depression, fear or frustration. Even if she can bear to listen to him, she simply cannot help him even if she wants to. She is constitutionally incapable of helping him, of bringing him out.

I have been to the cold, dark places M3 is describing, and I know them well. Sometimes the only way out is to sit down in that place, alone, for a while, and feel whatever it is you are feeling. You cannot find a way out until the feelings and emotions are spent, and you have let them in, felt them, and let them pass on out. It isn’t comfortable or pretty or appealing. It isn’t meant to be. It is meant to be cathartic, so you can get them out of your system. It isn’t even meant to be healing. It is exploratory self-surgery, meant to find out where the tumors, injuries and bullet holes are. Only then can the cancers be excised, the bullets surgically dug out, the wounds packed and sewn up. And only the person suffering the wounds can really find out where the tumors and bullets are, and only he can cut them out.

The only people who can go there with you are those who have been there before and have found a way out. You can’t go to blogs run by females expecting them to have answers to help you. She and the female commenters there cannot and will not help you. There are women commenting on M3′s and other blogs. They are standing in the surgical suite observation deck. Though all they can do is watch from a distance, some of them seem to think they should be shouting suggestions and directions to the surgeons and the patient. But this is usually not helpful; unless the direction is to stay there and feel whatever needs to be felt. Your father cannot help you either; unless your dad has been there and has found a way out, he cannot help you. Many dads have gone to the cold dark places and are still there, living as walking wounded.

Right now M3 is in the cold and dark place. He’s doing the surgery he needs to perform. And he’s letting us watch. And hopefully some 14 year old high school freshman or 19 year old college sophomore incel will read these. And he will know he is not alone. And hopefully he will find a red pill man who has gone to the cold dark places alone, done his surgery, and then found a way to walk out.”

personally, i believe this “cold dark place” is vital to a mans growth. consider this, a scene from a favorite movie from my childhood. start watching around the  16:00 mark. brutal, but there’s a purpose in it what M3 is describing is i believe the modern “sun dance” shown in the clip. it’s painful, yet cleansing. you overcome the pain, and become stronger having come through it. even at 7-8 years old i KNEW what this ritual was about. when you come out the other side, you no longer the same man. i believe M3 is currently swinging from the rafter. but he’ll do just fine. so don’t be angry, fearful, or bitter about the pain: embrace it. everyone’s journey is different, but embrace it.

for the curious few, the “homework” i gave M3 was to talk to very woman who HAS to talk to him. you don’t want a number, you don’t want to try and cause tingles. just want to make a comment on something she’s wearing (i usually go with earrings) and ask her to explain WHY she chose to wear them. the tell her you like them, they bring out her eyes, and she has pretty cute eyes. that’s it, bid her adieu and move on. after a while this will become second nature and you can start to neg, and tease. the point of the homework is to internalize talking to women. once you’re comfortable with everyday women, when you come in contact with a woman you’re interested in- you’ll be damn near flawless.

you’ll be natural. stay up.


5 Comments on “ITLR: Deti offers some insight”

  1. newlyaloof says:

    I had many friends that went through f’ed up situations (divorce, poverty, bad family life, etc) and when the trial came and it asked them to dig deep, they got scared and turned to drugs. But what they failed to realize is exactly what you mentioned. You need to stew in the hell-fire (some seeds in the plant world will not sprout into trees unless fire has singed their outer layer). Avoiding it is like debt financing – you pay a higher price and suffer longer.

    I’ll never forget a saying I heard, “You can’t fall off of the floor.” In other words, when you’re a young buck going through the fires of young life, puberty, finding your way, etc., when you hit rock bottom that’s the time to celebrate among the tears in knowing that you made it and you will become a stronger man. That video is a great tool for young bucks to remember when they are going through the fire.

    P.S. For the life of me, even after over a year of red-pill reading, I can’t remember wtf ITLR stands for.

  2. Senior Beta says:

    HM1 I think you have your next calling if you don’t want to just live in your swamp trailer and hunt wild boar. Ya gotta be a shrink. You have the touch. And your own experiences. Think about it. Helping the young struggling guys and dishing up cajun stuff on the side. Sounds like a good retirement plan to me.

  3. [...] Deti comments on the necessity of dark, emotional posts. [...]


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