Throwing myself under the busPosted: August 24, 2011
i appreciate everyone’s compliments, i do. i don’t consider myself anything special, i’m a normal guy….seriously. i’ve said before i don’t run game, and the confidence i’ve gained i attune more to maturity than anything else. the danny blogging now has only existed for the past 3-4 years. i’ve posted before (and there has been talk on other blogs recently about approaching women) how guys can be pretty clueless. this personally is VERY true of me if i have a STRONG attraction to a woman. i get nervous, i can’t think straight. it still happens every once in a while. i have many examples of this from my past, i’m sure a lot of guys do. this example is by far the funniest. it happened while i was in japan.
i was on the ship, i had to run to the quaterdeck to deliver an ace wrap to a pier sentry who was patrolling the pier. i get to sponson, and i see her. VERY cute, reddish-brown hair. i stop, stare, and she smiles. i come to my senses and head down to the pier. i went back to medical. i thought about this girl ALL THE TIME. she was just checking on to the ship when i saw her. well all new check-in’s have to come to medical eventually, so when she showed up (everyone i worked with was well aware that i wanted this woman to have at least 5,000 of my babies), everyone assumed i was going to do her check in interview. nope, i don’t pull that chicken shit move. i found out her name was emily and she was from austin, and i learned where she’d be working.
i’d pass her in the p-way and she’d drop her head slightly, make eye contact, break eye contact, then look at me again, and smile. once we were in line for chow and she started up a conversation with me, now……the current danny definitely would have escalated. old danny didn’t. i just talked, then went to a table (without her in tow) and ate with some guys i knew. [edit-FAG]
OH, trust me….it gets WAY WORSE. i should point out that this “passing her and her smiling at me” went on steadily for a few weeks (our ship was at sea at the time).
i was taking a college class on the ship. i was leaving the class and we ran into each other in a p-way. she sees me and smiles, i walk past her. then something inside me screamed, “FUCKING TALK TO HER YOU ASSHOLE!!!!” i turn around, and called her. she turned and had a HUGE smile on her face. she says, “yeah, what’s up?” i respond, “you got a minute?” she smiled and nodded and i asked her what she planned on doing when we got back to yokosuka. she shrugged her shoulders and said, “i don’t really know, i’ve only been off base twice.” (we had gotten under way 2-3 days after she reported on board). then she nails me, “why you asking?” and grins. she immediately followed with, “you have a house out in town, right?” i told her i did and she asked where i lived, and asked what my house was like (japanese homes are VERY different from american homes, btw). after i gave her a little info on my house, i froze.
[edit- i need to point out that this conversation isn’t verbatim, i don’t recall EXACTLY what i said, but this i more or less how it went down.]
my thought process completely abandoned me while i had this beautiful little creature crying out, “ASK ME OUT DAMMIT!!!!!” standing in front of me. but i froze, i stared at her for a few awkward seconds, then blurted out, “ok, well, i guess i’ll see you around.” and i turned around and walked away. i heard her say, “i guess so.” and i could hear the ‘w.t.f?” in her tone. as i walked away, i could see the hindenburg careening to the ground in my mind, but something had the sense to say, “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING, GO BACK AND ASK FOR HER NUMBER, WTF….DUDE…..SERIOUSLY. STOP. STOP AND GO BACK!!!!!” but i didn’t. i went back to medical. i was COMPLETELY humiliated and disappointed with myself. i KNEW what i had done wrong but i still botched it up. [edit- UBER FAG]
i went back to medical and told the four girls i worked with the story (2 were total hotties btw). i have never had women laugh at me that hard in my life. my best friend of the 4, cheryl, just covered her mouth and shook her head and told me, “baby what the hell?” she was TOTALLY into you.” i replied, “yeah stupid, i know. i can’t explain why i did that. GOD am i an asshole.” this was particularly crushing because i had finally decided to try dating someone else again. i had broken up with beth 2 years ago, and the girls were pushing me to get back out there and i had told them i was going to try.
i was 30 or 31 at the time. i wasn’t lacking in confidence per se. but i was REALLY attracted to emily. she was fucking beautiful: face-9.5, body- 9, personality from what i had gathered, she seemed very sweet. but i froze up when i need to sack up. i have no clue why i did what i did. but i REEEEEEALLY felt like a faggoty douche for doing it. i mean, i already had small IOI’s from her, but the conversation show’d: she was giving me a oppurtunity to ask her out, and she was asking me about my HOUSE, which makes me thinks she was sending me an indirect clue that she’d like to go there. i feel obligated to let you readers know that the dweeb in this story has been choked out, beaten senseless, and sent packing. danny 2.0 currently writes this blog. lol.
i’d LOVE to hear what my female readers think of this. and everyone feel free to point and snicker, i deserve it. lol.