Posted: September 28, 2011 Filed under: Drivel, Girl distractions
I got to work and had this little exchange on FB IM.
"Are you close with your mom."
I read the article. Firstly....it's written by 2 WOMEN. Smh. Secondly,
a few of the explanations were insulting. To me, this sums up EVERYTHING I need to
know from the first slide:
"Ah, men and their mothers. It's a bond we may not fully understand until we
birth sons ourselves. In the meantime, we'll keep busy by examining how the
men in our lives interact with their mothers, in order to glean more info on
their overall character. Here's a guide to help your guy analysis."
So....these 2 Dummies don't even HAVE sons, yet they want to spout out
mother-son relationship analysis. Die in a Fire. I wonder how many women
reading MSN are going to take this advice as Dogma.
"To answer your question: YES. I'm close with ALL of my immediate family
with the exception of my father. Secondly this article is mostly bullshit.
Some is down-right insulting. Yes at some point I do believe you need to let
go of momma's skirt."
"How often do you call your mom."
"Are you serious? Please tell me you aren't going to try to Psychoanalyze
ME. You're not smart enough, I'll lead you in the total wrong direction. Look,
as a woman, it's best to leave the mom-son dynamic alone and respect it
(unless it's an unhealthy and caustic one...even then, you're treading
dangerous ground). All that should matter is: A-are they close? B-Does he
"If he's a momma's boy (which is what I think you're leading to), recognize
it and decide if you can deal with a man like that in your life. Because you
AREN'T going to change that dynamic."
Her- (10 minute pause, but I KNEW she was at her computer).
"Anytime sweetie. That's what I'm here for."
For the record, I call the Mom about 3-4 times a month. She relays family
news I need to know about. The Grandmother died (Rest in Peace Mamma-Cat) in
June, my Paw-Paw will be passing before the year ends. Don't ask how I know,
I just do. I figured since I'm bored at work I'll just comment on each slide
and offer a SON'S take.
"He Calls Her Daily.
If your man and his mom are always chatting, then he likely tells her
everything. including intimate details of your relationship. Not only will
she be privy to your private moments with her son, but she probably also
weighs in on every argument the two of you have. And guess whose side she'll
Me, talk to my mom about my sex life. Ew. I was on the phone telling my mom
last year how I had hotel reservations over the weekend when I got into the
city. My step-father over heard this and asked her, "why is he staying in a
hotel, that's stupid? Just stay here." I started giggling. My mom answered,
"because he HAS to stay in a hotel for the weekend." Good 'ol carson
clueless asked, "why the hell not?" my mom (God bless her) answered him
dead-pan, "Because he's not allowed to have sex in this house." Lol.
These women OBVIOUSLY have insecurity issues. Now I think a guy calling his
mom EVERYDAY is odd, but I think these girls are sending the wrong message and
"He Needs Her Input.
There's something emasculating about a grown man who can't make a decision
without his mother's guidance. Sure, we'd like him to respect her opinions,
but when he uses his mom as a crutch, it's a sign that he's too insecure to
stand on his own two feet. If he doesn't trust himself to make a decision,
then how are you supposed to trust him to?"
Somewhat agree, but maybe there's a reason he "needs her input." I translate
this as these ladies thinking, "he doesn't need ME." I ask my mom's input on
things, but not EVERYTHING. I didn't ASK my mother if she approved of my
volunteering to deploy to Kuwait. But, I DID ask her what she thought about
it (she didn't want me to go......sorry mom, but Danny's was heading to the
desert). And.....maybe mom gives some pretty damn good advice and he's makes
BAD decisions. Yet, I agree......a man needs to be able to stand on his own
"He's Not Appreciative
A guy who takes his mother - the woman who gave him life - for granted
probably doesn't give props to any of the peeps in his life, including his
girlfriend. This type of man typically has an inflated sense of self and
feels entitled: He doesn't thank people, because he thinks they're just
doing their required duty, whether it's as a lover, a mother or a friend."
Ok. I'll go with this one.
"They're Just Not Close
While there are legitimate reasons for a man to become estranged from his
mother, some guys just don't have the patience, time or heart to stay close
to their moms. If he doesn't value his relationship with the first woman to
love him, then chances are that he won't make his relationship with his
lover a priority. and the same goes for his eventual family."
Nope. Too presumptuous. There may be a DAMN good reason he's not close to
"He Bad-Mouths Her
While not all mothers deserve a Mom of the Year award, regardless of how
terrible a guy's mom was or even still is, his propensity to diss the woman
who birthed him is a poor reflection of his personality. A jab once in a
while is understandable; constant bad-mouthing (or worse, whining) shows a
lack of respect for women and a serious need to grow up."
Agree. I ended a date after a girl told her mom over the phone to, "shut the
fuck up already." We had lunch (she said it while we were driving to the
place). I ate as quickly as i could didn't talk all that much and (made her pay
for her meal btw) and took her home. The look on her face when I told her
good-bye and didn't lean in to kiss her was priceless. Never called her again. She was:
face-9, body-8, personality- -4.
"He's Not Respectful
Even if she was pretty awful in the past, if your guy is nasty to his mother
in front of you or other people, then he's tactless and insolent. And if
he's capable of treating his mom with such blatant callousness, then chances
are that he won't hesitate to berate you in public, either."
See slide 6
"He Thinks She's His Maid
If he still expects his mom to clean up after him, then this over-coddled
dude likely relies on other people to handle all his adult responsibilities,
like filling out job applications and scheduling appointments. The fact that
he hasn't taken ownership of these tasks shows that he's immature and lazy."
I think we're over doing it here. What makes you think he thinks his mom is
his maid? Does he LIVE with mom? I think this more points to these ladies
not wanting to pick up after him since drinking the feminist kool-aid.
I bet these 2 will be cleaning up some after their sons. Is being domestic THAT
awful? I ALWAYS share house-hold chores with the lady. That's just fair.
"He Still Adheres to Her Rules
Men who live by their mother's edicts long after they've left the house
don't have the cojones to establish their own set of values and standards.
If every sentence out of his mouth is "my mom says," then it's not only
annoying, but also a signal that he's afraid to live his own life."
Agree but I think the big picture here is that these 2 are implying, "He won't
adhere to MY rules."
"He Puts Her On A Pedestal
When Mom is god's gift to the world, whatever she says, does or thinks will
always be superior to what you say, do or think. Even if you're brighter,
prettier and kinder than his mother, you'll never quite measure up in his
LOVE this one. Holy shit. These 2 are saying, "THEN I WON'T BE ON THE
PEDESTAL!!!!!!" guess what, my mother is on a pedestal. Deservedly so, if
the missus doesn't like it....the hell with her. However I am NOT at
mommy's beck-and-call. But she's a PHENOMENAL woman.
"He's Close With Her
A guy who's close with his mommy isn't necessarily a momma's boy. Actually,
a man who has a good relationship with mom is generally more sensitive,
communicative and understanding toward women's emotions than one who barely
speaks to his mother."
Wow they got another right.
me and the mom. tell me i'm a momma's boy and i'll respond, "totally".