BUUUUT….i’m not a REAL Parent

i fucking love Brody. Brody’s tit’s. well, he turns six years old in a week. i got him when he was 6 weeks old. he’s VERY well trained and i put a lot of effort into make sure he’s well-behaved in public. he’s SUPER protective of kid’s and women. seriously….ask So-So. all in all he’s a great dog and i’m a very proud Pappa. yeah yeah yeah, i know, you have a kid, and kid’s are a require a lot more attention, but you know what….I DON’T HAVE A KID FOR A REASON. i KNOW how much work they require, that’s why i have a dog. damn near every decision i make has me immediately thinking, “what about brody?” kids are messy and they bring about moments where i’m sure a parent hangs their head and says, “REALLY….*sigh* Dear God, why?”

i got home today and noticed a peculiar odor. then remembered, “oh yeah, i burned the trinity and andouille last night. smelled the trash can an yeah, it was off. i walked over to the computer and learned the horrid truth. apparently brody ate something that his tummy didn’t agree with. and well, he can’t let himself out so he “downloaded the brown file” all over my back door area (how apropos). and this wasn’t easy to pick up nuggets of joy; this was liquid molten bung fury. poor brody he slowly walked up with head hanging low looking up at me with a his, “i’m so sawy daddee.” i made sure my voice was calm and told him i wasn’t upset. i took him and gave him a bath. then rolled up my sleeves, donned rubber gloves and began the 20 minute poop purge. if you’ve never ensured you’ve gotten dog-poo from between the cracks of hard-wood flooring, you should say a prayer and thank God. lol. oh, and i need to take him for his teeth cleaning, that’s $200. plus he has BAD reactions from anesthesia, so i get to listen to him whimper for 2-3 hours which fucking tears my heart out.

but remember, i’m not a REAL parent. lol.

[edit-day 2, came home MORE LMBF. DAMMIT!!!!! what’s a dad to do?]

my baby-boy, all tuckerd out. 6 weeks old.

me and muh Boy

danny...you need to buy him a bigger bed. nope, that's my mom's dog's bed, she has a shi-tzu. doofus decided to crash in his bed. *sigh*

12 Comments on “BUUUUT….i’m not a REAL Parent”

  1. just visiting says:

    Had some of that going on with my dog a few days ago. Both ends. And yes, I’ve got hard wood floors, so I know what you mean.

  2. just visiting says:

    I had left over hallowe’en candy in a linen closet. My teen forgot to close the door, and well, dogs and chocolate don’t mix. He even ate the wrappers. And, yeah, I was cleaning those up too. Thankfully he’s alright now, some dogs have died from eating chocolate.

    Hope your dog is feeling better. Did you ever find out what he got into?

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      Yeah, I heard that about dogs and chocolate.

      No clue what he got into. He doesn’t get people food and there’s no one here but me to feed him. Maybe he got something outside.

      Sent from my iPhone

  3. Looking Glass says:

    “liquid molten bung fury” – this term has be remembered.

    Hope he’s doing well still.

  4. Bellita says:

    He’s so adorable! I’m so sorry he’s sick. =(

  5. bigmark says:

    How do you find time to give your dog a good life being in the Military? I am PCSing soon and I am debating a getting a dog or cat. I am a dog person but leaning towards cat because they are low maint. I can go to the field for a week and not have to really worry about it. Do you come home at lunch to walk him or can he go all day without going to the bathroom?


    • dannyfrom504 says:

      Mark- i’m currently on shore duty so i’m only gone for about 12 hours MAX. puppy years were worrisome since he was so little and i was in school for 8 hours but Brody did well (crate trained him RIGHT AWAY), but learned some lessons the hard way (via a chewed up kitchen table and bedroom carpet during his teething years).

      now the routine is letting him out when i wake up, taking him out for a walk everyday, and basic daily feed/watering. he pretty much goes on cruise control most of the time. when i’m at work he has free roam of the house. now….if i got deployed i have a few options. my mom would take him in while i was gone and i have 2 friends out here that would have zero problems looking after Brody in my absence.

      if you KNOW you’ll be spending significant time in the field, i’d probably wait until i had a more stable schedule before getting a pet. also, i knew i had at least 2-3 more duty stations left in my career so i made sure to get a dog that could travel easily. as you can see, Brody isn’t a big pup, but he’s not a toy breed either. he’s about 40 lbs, (eng. staffy standard male weight) though he probably thinks he’s a Rottweiler.

      i used to have an 8 foot red tailed Boa named Claudia. she could over a month without any attention so they (snakes) make decent pets as well. i aslo had a VERY handsome dumerils boa named Arbola. dumi’s own because they’re a big snake but typically don’t get over 5-6 feet long. Claudia popped me more then once because at 8 feet handling her was awkward and i didn’t have her supported properly. well she got nervous and bit me, “WATCH IT ASSHOLE.” is what i’m sure what was going on in her head.

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