BUUUUT….i’m not a REAL ParentPosted: November 22, 2011
i fucking love Brody. Brody’s tit’s. well, he turns six years old in a week. i got him when he was 6 weeks old. he’s VERY well trained and i put a lot of effort into make sure he’s well-behaved in public. he’s SUPER protective of kid’s and women. seriously….ask So-So. all in all he’s a great dog and i’m a very proud Pappa. yeah yeah yeah, i know, you have a kid, and kid’s are a require a lot more attention, but you know what….I DON’T HAVE A KID FOR A REASON. i KNOW how much work they require, that’s why i have a dog. damn near every decision i make has me immediately thinking, “what about brody?” kids are messy and they bring about moments where i’m sure a parent hangs their head and says, “REALLY….*sigh* Dear God, why?”
i got home today and noticed a peculiar odor. then remembered, “oh yeah, i burned the trinity and andouille last night. smelled the trash can an yeah, it was off. i walked over to the computer and learned the horrid truth. apparently brody ate something that his tummy didn’t agree with. and well, he can’t let himself out so he “downloaded the brown file” all over my back door area (how apropos). and this wasn’t easy to pick up nuggets of joy; this was liquid molten bung fury. poor brody he slowly walked up with head hanging low looking up at me with a his, “i’m so sawy daddee.” i made sure my voice was calm and told him i wasn’t upset. i took him and gave him a bath. then rolled up my sleeves, donned rubber gloves and began the 20 minute poop purge. if you’ve never ensured you’ve gotten dog-poo from between the cracks of hard-wood flooring, you should say a prayer and thank God. lol. oh, and i need to take him for his teeth cleaning, that’s $200. plus he has BAD reactions from anesthesia, so i get to listen to him whimper for 2-3 hours which fucking tears my heart out.
but remember, i’m not a REAL parent. lol.
[edit-day 2, came home MORE LMBF. DAMMIT!!!!! what’s a dad to do?]