Busting Balls

i guess this is you ladies chance to peer inside the locker room.

since everyone seems so interested in this crap i thought i’d touch on something that’s crucial to fitting in with a group of guys: busting balls. seriously, the inability to do this will land you in the out with the pack. i have a 2 blacks belts in this subject matter. i have a dark gift for figuring out someone’s neurosis root and attacking it with unrelentless persistence. the WarMachine is a HUGE guy, i can run him off in 15 seconds by teasing him about how “pretty” he is. the civilians LOVE it when i start on him. he walks away EVERYTIME muttering, “yer stoopid bro.” he’s embarrassed and somewhat blushing when he walks away. and get this…WarMachine is from a NOTORIOUS part of LA…..Eas’ Los (east LA), and since he’s Asian and was living in a predominately mexican area, he was an emissary between the various “sets” in La Puente. here’s the neighborhood entertainment: the various set’s would pit different kids (think 7-10 years old) against each other in fist fights. the WarMAchine was NEVER beaten. they couldn’t jump him in, because he was able to take 4-5 guys on at once. he was basically an Asian Cholo and he got a TON of women (still does). this guy is one of my best friends out here.

attempts to bust on me is usually a jab at my height or paleness. heard them all before and the best way to deal with it is to agree and amplify. “wow danny, how long have you been cooking for?” i’ll answer, “hell since i was able to look over the stove.” her, “how old was that?” i’ll give a look of confusion before replying, “shit…i dunno, 17.” wokka wokka. put yourself on blast and give the other person no where to go as far as fucking with you and you take away their power to give you shit. when i run this bit i’m basically telling the other person i’m aware of my height and i doesn’t bother me.

another thing….whenever you can make another guy uncomfortable with gay jokes and come-ons….ALWAYS GOLD. dude seriously, this is one of the best ways of busting on a dude. all gay material is appropriate in regards to giving another guy shit. anyone that complains, get’s skeeved out, or can’t one up you….LOST. lol. i was talking to our new guy at work (a 25 year old hockey goalie) and he was laughing when i was telling him this, “hell yeah dude.” he replied laughing. when i hang out with my skater friends back in NO, it’s a big “fuck with the other guy with some good-natured ribbing” scenario. i get along VERY well with all the alphas at work, and we have at least 3 VERY beautiful women in my department, these 3 women are VERY good at busting on guys. NONE of them has EVER gotten the best of me, and they all typically concede to me when we start messing with each other. they throw a crack at me….i escalate it to the nuclear zone and they laugh and typically tell me to shut up. lol. one of them is a tall Mexican girl and where i fire back at her, her usual reply is, “whatever loser.” thats her supplicating to the exchange. BUT….it’s fun to do, and keeps the work place from being boring. now….you ONLY crack on people that are part of the pack. there are 2, maybe 3 guys that none of the alpha dudes bust on. they aren’t worthy of that esprit de corps.

so get some thick skin, have some fun and give your buddies a hard time. it’s fun and it’s how the guys show camaraderie.


fag. lol.

22 Comments on “Busting Balls”

  1. deti says:

    Yeah, there’s a double standard here too.

    Men are allowed to bust each others’ balls. Hell, it’s required. (Danny, ya piker)

    Women are NOT allowed to bust any man’s balls. Ladies, if you want to be attractive to a man (really attractive, not just a same night lay) DO NOT saunter in, spitting sarcasm and snark. You are NOT allowed to neg us, though we can neg you.

    I’ve seen this a lot: group of guys standing around. A couple of women come up, throw out a few negs. One guy in particular gets cut down. Men look at each other with that knowing set of looks that says “these two are good only for SNLs. That’s it.”.

    Women are, however, allowed to bust their brothers’ balls, or their male cousins’ balls.

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      “Women are NOT allowed to bust any man’s balls.”

      i agree, but i’m talking about being in a Military environment. HOWEVER, the girls ARE kind of like sister’s to me. i have ZERO attraction to any of them.

      if a woman i’m friends with busted on me……she’d get nuked.

      • deti says:

        In a military or other work environment, and women are coworkers, those women are (or at least should be) as susceptible to having their balls busted as any man.

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      agreed. see my comment below about one of my coworkers. lol.

  2. MissMarie says:

    I love watching men do this with each other, it’s fascinating. Working with truckers, I specifically do it myself just because I *don’t* want any of them approaching me. On the whole it works well – makes a fun work environment, keeps it clear I’m not open to dating any of them. Although, every once in awhile some of them like it, lol. Definitely agree though, in public/away from work it’s not something I feel comfortable or appropriate doing.
    [edit-fixed Marie]

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      yeah, i have NO attraction to the girls i work with, BUT…..i admit they are very beautiful women.

    • deti says:

      It’s true.

      We men instinctively know: if a man is busting your balls, he likes you. He is offering friendship. It’s something of a verbal handshake.

      • dannyfrom504 says:

        and the girls we fuck with at work…..they can NEVER outdo us.

        we were in formation one morning and one of our guys just got back from Afghanistan. well, the Mexican girl had just gotten married and when our boss asked when she was changing her name, dude that just came back asked if she had gotten married. girl said she had. then he asked what her new name was and there was a pause.

        waaait for it……waaaaaait.

        NO ONE stepped up so i said my last name. hilarity ensued. EVERYONE was laughing, including her. she blushed. oh but i wasn’t done with her. i placed my hand on her lower abdomen and asked, “how far along are we Baby, 3 or 4 months? DAMN!!! feels those kicks, that’s what up.” she didn’t say a word. she laughed and just shook her head.

        danny ftw.

  3. Ribbon Butterfly says:

    What’s the attractive response to a guy who’s busting my balls? (I’m sorry, I’m really immature, I kind of have to make the XD face even as I write this….)

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      Laugh and supplicate to it. The guy is doing it because he approves of you, he’s not trying shame you.

      If anything laugh and shake your head. Then walk away and say, “ass.” that’s usually best. DO NOT try and outdo the guys comment. You’ll lose.

      I’ve NEVER had a girl best me in busting balls. All the girls I rip on are women I generally admire by and large btw.

      Sent from my iPhone

      • MissMarie says:

        Good place to use a light punch to the upper arm. That, “Jerk”, little smile and look down and to the side or walk away. Works well for me, anyway…

      • deti says:

        if he’s busting her balls, isn’t it just a neg?

      • Ribbon Butterfly says:

        Maybe this is from the growing-up-nerdy perspective, but it’s generally been my experience that the guy who’s being mean to me really is being mean, he doesn’t secretly think I’m attractive. Rather than “He’s mean to you because he likes you,” it’s usually, “He’s mean to you because he thinks you’re a maggot. A *smart* maggot, maybe.”

        More examples of where I need to adjust my perspective, I guess. Keepin’ your advice in my arsenal. ^_^

      • dannyfrom504 says:

        yeah, i guess so. but it’s not done to build arousal (which is the purpose of a neg).

        MissMarie is spot on here. as a kid, YEAH…..it was mean-spirited. now….it’s a flirty tease. if you’re busted on, laugh….call him a jerk and lightly punch his arm. that’s pretty much how the dance goes.

        example (hypothetical)-
        “danny, how do you like my shoes?” (you’re wearing a slight heel). me- (knowing you) “i like them, but i don’t have enough $1’s to tip you though.” (the joke being i know you’re a somewhat naive woman and i’m alluding to your being a stripper since you typically may not dress like that).

        see, that’s how it works. i’d bet money that as long as you’d understood the joke you’d be grinning. how do i know….well….i’ve been doing this crap for over 10 years. lol.

  4. MissMarie says:

    School age meanness and adult meanness can be vastly different BR. They were mean and meant it to me in school, not hardly at all now.

  5. ASF says:

    Hey danny, do any men comment on your blog? (see what I did there) 😉

  6. Badger says:

    Busting balls is male on male shit-testing. It’s very important for men, as male social groups tend to be hierarchical and so men duel to figure out the hierarchy.

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      I don’t see it as a challenge per se, I’ll only rip on guys I’m cool with. the guys I work with are pretty alpha. I’m talking combat tested guys that have taken and saved lives. For us there’s only acceptance, there’s no set “dominant alpha”.

      If I don’t talk to you, it’s because I don’t like you. If I HAVE to talk to you and I don’t like you, I speak matter of fact and to the point.

      Sent from my iPhone

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