Number close, chest-thumping, and the Kiss close.Posted: January 8, 2012 | |
i was in a SHITTY mood friday. had a close go awry and i was in a shit mood after. long story short, i really considered closing the blog. it feels disingenuous to an extent now. it’s a well-known fact that i’m seeking a LTR, well…..98% of my opens and approaches have ZERO LTR implications. basically i’m running “get laid” game when soap-boxing about a LTR, and that failed close made me realize that. thusly….i felt i wasn’t being honest with you readers…..thereby making this blog pointless. i stared at a blank “new post” for 30 minutes. i KNEW what i wanted to say, but just didn’t want to post. you can tell my minds not here just by reading this paragraph…..i’m babbling.
saturday afternoon i decided to head into the forest, that always puts me in a good mood. i have to concentrate, i’m VERY unplugged from anything other the my environment. my situational awareness is laser focused in the woods. i take VERY slow and well thought steps. i scan the ground and just above eye-level tree-line constantly. i’m looking for turkey feather’s and dropping, i’m scanning the trees for roosts. any noise causes me to freeze and pin-point the sound. acorns drop, branches rustle from the squirrels. crows. owls. song-birds. believe it or not, my sense of smell get’s VERY sensitive in the forest. you see, human sense of smell relies on tactile stimulation. that which we aren’t used to smelling is VERY noticeable to us. well…..i don’t live in the forest….so everything smells new to me and everything is on my radar. i mapped out a few spots to hunt turkey when the season open back up in march for 5 weeks.
i got home and i saw my neighbors had gone back inside. they were out when i left and i didn’t get out to say hello because i had my pistol on my hip and my JACKHAWK 9000 on the other hip. audrey would KEEEEEL me if i played with her 3 spawn whilst armed to the teeth. but her twin boys would LOOOOVE mr. danny’s knife. so i left without saying hello. i told audrey about my not stopping and she was VERY pleased that i chose not to walk over. after being in the wood for close to 3 hours i went home. SAAAAAAAINTSSSSSS GAAAAAAAAAAAME!!!!!!!!!!!! that was the only plan for the night. football and beer, THAT’S IT!!!!! i walked over to my neighbor’s house after i got back from the forest (i put the weapons away btw) and adurey told me they had family over. sean texted me and told me to come over and hang (sean’s VERY alpha). long story short i went with them to whitey’s fish camp for beer and football. i didn’t even have to time to change out of my cam0 (not that it matters out here). camo is semi-formal attire out in norf florida. i just stayed in my “swamp monster” snake/water proof boots and threw my saints jersey over my long sleeve camo shirt. i have a thing where when i leave the house for a Saint’s game i wear my mardi gras beads. they.are.HUGE. shit, here…see for yourself.
so i’m watching my Saints and our waitress is a detroit fan. we’re shit talking A LOT. and the who dat didn’t DOOO DAT!!!!! for most of the first half. well, at some point i was watching the game and a VERY BUSTY brunette comments, “nice beads. i like your big balls.”
*sigh* game on. wonder twim powers. ACTIVATE.
i replied with, ” well thanks baby, my big balls dig you too.” she smiled and asked where i got them. this was so easy that it’s stupid. i told her, “i was born with them, so i guess from my mom.” she smile and nodded and bit her lip and said, “well, i kind of want to feel them.” jesus….this girls was making it easy. i told her she couldn’t feel them but i’d be happy to lay them on her chest, and i placed them right on top of her tits. i should point out that i SHOULD have locked eyes with her and kiss closed. but i hesitated. then i backed off. hesitation is a tingle killer. and she was red-hot after only 5 minutes of flirting. i did not like her chain-smoking, and while she had a massive rack, but was also a tad overweight (not necessarily a bad thing….but something made me hesitate) so i dismissed the whole encounter and got back into the Who Dat. i should point out that i didn’t even ask her name.
about 10 minutes later 2 VERY tall guys walked over towards me looking for a table. they stopped about 5 feet in front of me and i couldn’t see the game. after about 5 seconds i looked at the one on front and said, “EXCUSE ME!!!!” guy didn’t even look at me and muttered to his friend “did he just say ‘excuse me?” ”
GAME THE FUCK ON!!!!!!!!!
i stood up and said, “yes. i DID say excuse me. you blocking the fucking television and i can’t see the game.” then he made a HUUUUUUGE mistake. he placed his hand on my head and said with a chuckle, “sorry guy, i didn’t realize that.” i pushed his hand aside, threw off my glasses, and the beads went clanging to the ground. i was officially in red, and well….he was drunk so he back pedaled. “woah woah woah. sorry guy.” titty girl, and my friends were now in “wtf is going on and why is danny posturing” mode. the 2 drunky mcdrunks took a table behind ours and i went back to watching the game. then i heard, “can you believe that guy?”
are you fucking serious. *sigh*
i looked at him, “what did you say?” they were obviously drunk enough to not realize how loud they were. and he responded with, “no..uh..nothing.” i went back to my game. fortunately by this time the Saint’s were KILLING the lions, so i was in a good mood. 2 guys had moved on to ms. titty and i could see she wasn’t too keen on these 2, but she ended chatting with them for 20-30 minutes. i walked over to a friend who bartends at the local and tapped ms. titty on the back. she turned around and smiled. i told her my big balls wanted to talk to her for a second and she touched my beads. *well well well* i mention the guys and she said she knows one of them and the other one is “kinda an asshole”. whatever. i asked her her name and she told me it was kristin. i told her i’m with friends but i wanted to see
her tits her some other time and handed her my phone with the key-pad display up. she punched in her number, i touched her waist just under her tits, and winked as i walked off. audrey knew RIGHT AWAY what went down. “what’s her name?” i told her and she then asked if i got her number. i showed her the number and she asked if it was her real number. i laughed, “who care’s? i’m not calling her.” audrey laughed and mentioned she looked “ho-ey”. love audrey. soon after audrey and a busty blonde friend of her’s were dancing. i looked to my left (i was sitting on a bar-stool watching the game) and saw audrey’s ass a foot away. i popped her hard on her ass and she squealed, “heeeeeeey. daaaaaaaaannyyyyyyyyy” her hubby jumped right in. “don’t put that juicy ass in front of him and not expect him to smack it. he knows that ass is fine.” and she is, audrey is a solid 9. she wasn’t mad at what i did btw. i’m sure you ladies know EXACTLY where i’m coming from with this. we ended up going home around midnight.
this morning i went to walk brody and the neighbors were sitting out side so the kids could play. “DANNYYYYYYYY!!!!!” the twin boys ran to me and grabbed a leg to hug me. i picked them up and squeezed them and put them back down, then they went on to petting brody. i was talking to sean and audrey when i had the best close of the weekend. their 5 year old daughter came outside, saw me, squealed and ran to me. she jumped into my arms and placed her tiny arms around my neck. she immediately kissed me on the cheek and started telling me about how she made something for her school-bag. i was absolutely smitten, and i felt like gold.
it was by far, my best kiss close in a loooong time. stay up.