Books for guys who actually LIKE to read: Isolation and Being Alone

IT’S FRIDAY!!!!!! and you know what that means, BOOK NIGHT. today i thought i’d cover a subject that is a common theme here among the guy blogs: INTROVERSION. i’m an INTJ…..almost to a tea. the following books i thought were VERY good subject matter for said subject.

  • “Party of One: The Loner’s Manifesto”- Anneli Rufus. this is one of those books i liked so much that i told a friend to read it, and i never saw it again. Read it back in Japan, so we’re talking 2004’ish. Anneli talks about Loner’s, and dispels the myth that they are “fringe” people unable to conform or exist in social situations. No, it’s just Loner’s prefer to be, well…ALONE. it’s how we prefer to spend our time. Deniro has a great line in “ronin” where he tells a woman, “i’m alone, but i’m not lonely.” that’s ALPHA SHIT right there. from amazon, “….Loners keep to themselves, and like it that way. Yet in the press, in films, in folklore, and nearly everywhere one looks, loners are tagged as losers and psychopaths, perverts and pity cases, ogres and mad bombers, elitists and wicked witches. Too often, loners buy into those messages and strive to change, making themselves miserable in the process by hiding their true nature—and hiding from it. Loners as a group deserve to be reassessed—to claim their rightful place, rather than be perceived as damaged goods that need to be “fixed.” In Party of One Anneli Rufus — a prize-winning, critically acclaimed writer with talent to burn — has crafted a morally urgent, historically compelling tour de force—a long-overdue argument in defense of the loner, then and now.” i’ve LOOONG come to terms with my being a Loner, and i like it. If you a fellow male introvert, you owe it to yourself to peep this.
  • “God’s Lonely Man”- Thomas Wolfe- ok….i FUCKING LOVE Thomas Wolfe. as far as i’m concerned he’s the most under-rated american writer EVAAAR!!! he influenced Kerouac and Bradberry, among others. his untimely death from Tuberculosis was just a crime. i LOVE his short stories. “God’s Lonely Man” is Wolfe’s AMAZING essay on the experience of being alone. i heard about it when it was referenced in “Seven” and i immediately looked for the book. it’s VERY profound. it’s also a relatively short read. so, the plus side is if you get yer mitts on a copy of his short stories you’ll have other gems to read. i recommend: “Chickamaugah”- the story of a civil war battle, and “the Lion in the Winter”- a rich new york man goes about his daily routine that realizes he still has life in his veins.
  • HONORABLE MENTION: “The Perks of being a Wallflower- Charles Chbosky- never read it, but i’ve heard it’s really good. haven’t read it because it deals with a kid who’s well, kind of non-existent in his high school. been there done that. BUUUT…i think if you have a kid, you should read it to get an idea of what you child may be experiencing; especially if he isn’t in the “in crowd”.

i’ve made no attempt to hide the fact that LIKE being a loner, i prefer my own (and brody’s) company. i don’t NEED to be around people to thrive. the only exception is a gf, i have NO PROBLEM with a gf being around me during the day, i rather like having a woman around (read: MY woman). well, in researching “God’s Loney Man” i found this GEM. enjoy.

http://www.philosophicalsociety.com/Archives/An%20Existential%20View%20Of%20Loneliness.htm

what i liked about this was i GET IT. totally. i’ve looked into the abyss and felt the greatest feeling of calm and peace ever. i feel this is a VITAL part of a man’s journey to fulfillment. its pure outcome independence. the universe will unfurl as it always does. i don’t know what will happen tomorrow, next week, next year, in 10 years. and i’m FINE with that. make you life, YOUR LIFE, and your ultimate goal. whether it’s the path less taken, the path of the herd, whatever…..don’t worry about approval or failure. YOU are all that matters. FUCK THE HERD. if you don’t learn how to be happy with and accept yourself for who and what you are, you’ll never EVER truly be happy. and no woman will ever want to walk the world with you either.

stay up


9 Comments on “Books for guys who actually LIKE to read: Isolation and Being Alone”

  1. Great post and your selections are intruiging… Especially the first one. It’s funny… I hadn’t thought of you as a loner but I can also say I have heard you say things that do amount to “Fuck the herd.” lol

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      that’s what great about the book. most people think loner’s do poorly in social setting and can’t/don’t communicate well. WRONG. i do VERY WELL socially. i just prefer to alone. Rufus does a great job at dispelling the myth’s of loner’s.

  2. zorro says:

    I read Party of One last year. It is superb, and yes, I’m also an introvert.

    Also for introverts: The Highly Sensitive Person by Dr. Elaine Aron (the world’s leading authority on neurological sensitivity, closely associated with introversion.

    hsperson.com is her web site.

  3. just visiting says:

    As an introverted intj, I’m glad you’ve brought up the fact that introversion doesn’t equal socially inept. I think there’s a perception that introverts must be shy and retiring. Not me. I totally get “alone does not mean lonely”. And yeah, no patience for the herd mentality. I haven’t read the books you’ve mentioned, but you’ve sparked my interest.

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      JV- I’m a boss in social settings. I just prefer to be at home. Lol.

      If you read the books, tell me what you think.

      Sent from my iPhone

    • Bellita says:

      @Just Visiting
      I totally get “alone does not mean lonely”.

      This reminds me . . . I read somewhere that the nicest thing an introvert can ever say about you is, “Being with you is like being alone.” I understand completely. When I shared this with a very extroverted woman I know, she said that if anyone said that to her, she’d be insulted! Hahahaha!

  4. WillieMaize24 says:

    Also try Raymond Chandler-his Marlowe character is one of the great loners in all fiction. I liked all of his books, some verge on being classics. And try A Fan’s Notes by Frederick Exley. I can’t describe the book–it’s weird in a good way– and it’s a cult hit.


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