Deti’s: One-Liners

Marriage takes commitment — a determination that you’ll stay together until death or one of the four A’s:   adultery, abuse, abandonment, addiction.   Unless one of these happens, you can’t get out.   If you can’t live with that, marriage is not for you.
Get good at something.
Go to the gym.  It builds muscle, boosts your testosterone and helps you lose fat.
Concentrate on losing fat and building muscle, not “losing weight”.
In all matters sexual and romantic, trust your gut.
Men have hamsters too.
Every individual has the capacity to lie, cheat, steal and murder.   Doesn’t mean they will do those things, it just means they could under the right circumstances.
When considering a woman for dating or a relationship, a man should silently think to himself about her: “What do you bring to the table?  Why are you worthy of my time, money, investment and commitment?”   A man should consistently evaluate his woman using these criteria.
When considering himself, a man should silently ask:  “What have I done to improve myself today?  How is my life better today?”   You should ask yourself that every day.   If the answers are “Nothing” and “It’s not”, then you need to change some things.
Don’t step into her frame.  Instead, offer her your frame to step into.
Every woman knows how to fitness test a man.   It’s innate. It’s not bad.  It just is.  Half the time they don’t even know they’re fitness testing you.
Every man wants to have sex with half the women he sees.   It’s innate.  Don’t let anyone tell you that it is bad, or immoral, or defective.  It is good and normal, and nothing is wrong with you.
The fact that you are taking her out on a date does not in and of itself obligate you to spend lots of money on her, nor does it obligate you to pay the full freight all the time.
The fact that you are seeing her now does not obligate you to continue seeing her in the future.
The fact that you are seeing her now does not by itself obligate you to see only her.
Empathy: yes.    Supplication: no.
Assertive:  yes.   Aggressive and forward: sometimes.   Hyperaggressive potential rapist:  no.
Dominant: yes.   Domineering: no.
Confident:  Always.   Cocky, sometimes.   Arrogant arsehole, rarely.
Quiet and controlled:  Always.   Controlled rage:  Sometimes.   Sob heavingly like a girl:  Never.
If your woman acts up in public, get up and walk away if you have to.  Never make a scene, and never, never act like a drama queen.   Whatever you do, do not engage her in public.  .
If your wife or serious girlfriend disrespects you in public, the first time, correct it privately.  On all future occasions, correct her right then and there in front of the people she disrespected you to.  If she continues disrespecting you in public, there is a serious problem and you need to get to the bottom of it now.
If your date disrespects you in public, odds are there won’t be any more dates.
A little less you smile, a little less you talk.  A little more you stand up straight, a little more you make eye contact, a little more you use kino.
And when you smile, make it genuine and with a laugh.   Don’t grin stupidly.
Dress well when going out in public.
Women find these things attractive in a man:  confidence, social dominance, displays of power and authority.
Women find these things desirable:  loyalty, kindness, dignity, fidelity, honor, steadfastness, determination, dependability.
There is a dfference between “attractive” and “desirable”.  If you don’t show her “attractive” you’ll never get a chance to show her “desirable”.
Men find these things attractive in a woman:   looks, looks, looks, looks, looks, looks,  physical appearance, physical appearance,  feminine demeanor and bearing, pleasant personality.
Men find these things desirable in a woman:   no nagging, no complaining, no flaking, low partner count, responsible, .kindness, optimism, cheerfulness.
Learn one good story based on an experience, and learn how to tell it well.   If you can’t think of one good story you can tell, you have no life and you need to get one.
Do not ask.   Suggest.   Direct.  Tell.
Let your no be no.   Don’t explain, don’t elaborate, don’t justify.
Not everybody needs to know all the truth all the time.
If you offer monogamy or “commitment” immediately, she will think your commitment is not worth very much.
One unreturned phone call or text:  she forgot.
Two unreturned phone calls or texts:   she’s not that into you.  FIDO and delete her number.
Three unreturned phone calls or texts:   WTF are you calling/texting her, stalker?  It ain’t happening.  Delete her already before she takes out a restraining order. I told you to FIDO.
If you want unconditional love, get it from your mom or your dog.
A woman wants a man who will stand for something.
A man wants a woman who will stand with him while he stands for that something.
There is no such thing as a “soulmate”.   There is no “one” perfect man or woman for anyone.
There will always be another woman.
It is very, very easy for a woman to get sex from a man.   The converse is not true.
Immediately stop pursuing any woman who says “let’s just be friends” or something like that to you.
Reformed slut?  It’s rare, but it can happen.  Most won’t do the work.  Some can’t do the work.   A few accomplish it, and even fewer make themselves suitable for marriage.
Men:  keep your confidence up, your assertiveness on, and your game on.
Women:  keep your weight down, your hair long and your makeup on.
Your relatiionship is in trouble if you hear “You know I love you, but ….”
You need to get immediately to the bottom of any of the following in a relationship:
a.    Something has changed abruptly:  her behavior patterns, her spending habits, her personal appearance, the way she treats you.
b.   She is not being straight with you.
c.    You have a hunch that something is up.
Men:  early in a relationship, don’t:.
–beg or plead for anything.
–supplicate (i.e. gifts, meals, entertainment)
–emote wildly
–show any negative emotions
–ditch your friends
–tell her everything about you
–be overly available
Women:  early in a relationship, don’t:
–cuss and swear like a man
–try to run everything
–make decisions about everything
–ignore your appearance
–play hard to get
–be overly unavailable
You have a moral obligation to teach these things to your children.

12 Comments on “Deti’s: One-Liners”

  1. deti says:

    “Men find these things attractive in a woman: looks, looks, looks, looks, looks, looks, physical appearance, physical appearance, feminine demeanor and bearing, pleasant personality.

    “Men find these things desirable in a woman: no nagging, no complaining, no flaking, low partner count, responsible, .kindness, optimism, cheerfulness.”

    Ladies, please note what is not on this list of things men find attractive or desirable:

    —your job.
    —the amount of money you make.
    —the many places you’ve seen or traveled to.
    —your ambition or desire to “make something out of yourself”.
    —your drive or determination.
    —your relative fame or notoriety.

    Here’s why:

    Your job or your salary, and how well-known you are to people, just don’t matter to us in terms of attraction. These things just aren’t relevant to whether we will find you attractive.

    It’s cool if you’re ambitious, driven or determined. Just keep in mind that some guys might find you overly competitive. We want our women to complement us, not compete with us. Keep in mind also that a woman’s level ambition will probably limit the number of men she finds attractive.

  2. dannyfrom504 says:

    interestingly enough. i was talking with a reader about this VERY subject and she wanted me to post about. i basically told her EXACTLY what Deti wrote here.

    however, i don’t articulate and write about this stuff well. so i’m glad Deti covered this.

  3. Bill says:

    Danny and Deti,

    This is the mother lode.

  4. OffTheCuff says:

    Encyclopedia Deti strikes again.

  5. Great advice, guys!

    If both men and women implement them, there will be no need for divorce lawyers LOL 🙂

  6. Stargate Girl says:

    So basically, we gals should be pleasant, dress nice, and smile simperingly. Isn’t that what a trophy wife is, more or less? Pffft! Everyone has a right to complain. If we nag, it’s because we asked a guy to do something, they said “yes” and then sat on their ass and didn’t do it.

    I’m taking away that a woman should only let good qualities show. We’re not allowed to have any negative? I believe that is called a barbie doll.

    I find that a rather chauvinistic attitude….. So not my cup of tea.

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      SG- “because we asked a guy to do something, they said “yes” and then sat on their ass and didn’t do it.” i don’t call that nagging, i call that a reasonable complaint.

      “I’m taking away that a woman should only let good qualities show. We’re not allowed to have any negative? I believe that is called a barbie doll.” no. men AND woman have negative qualities of course. there are certain proclivities imbedded in feminimity that you’ll never get away from (black shoes, handbags. lol), some of those may not bother one guy, but may drive another crazy.

      i KNOW i’m not going to find EVERYTHING that’s stated in this post. but by and large these are qualities that i DO absolutely find attractive. i’m keeping my eye out for a woman that does have a healthy amount of what’s stated in the post.

      • deti says:

        Nagging is:
        1. Incessant complaining about immutable things or character traits
        2. In an unreasonable, repetitive, whining, intentionally irritating manner specifically for the purpose of getting the other to change the circumstance or the trait.

        If one finds herself nagging a boyfriend, maybe her guy isn’t right for her, or one of you is having trouble accepting reality.

        –Expressing displeasure about something a few times is not nagging.
        –However, expressing displeasure every day, three times a day, for a year about something that is never going to change is nagging. Learn to accept it or move on.
        –Reminding your man, firmly, about something he promised to do is not nagging.
        –Telling him that something is important and needs to get done is not nagging.

        “We’re not allowed to have any negative?” Sure you can. It’s unavoidable. Be that as it may, that wasn’t the point of the post. All I said was these are the things men find attractive and desirable.

  7. Stargate Girl says:

    “Men find these things attractive in a woman: looks, looks, looks, looks, looks, looks, physical appearance, physical appearance, feminine demeanor and bearing, pleasant personality.”

    Good thing I’m already married. I’d be screwed! 😀

    *cracks open a beer: BUUUUUURRRRRP!*

    Yep. Screwed.

    • deti says:

      Lulz. Yeah, me too.

      “Honey, do you love me? Because I so wuv you!! You’re my everything, snookums! Let me massage your feet for you in the hopes you’ll give me a little kiss later on tonight. I’ll do the dishes, too.”

  8. This is one of those things where if you don’t know precisely what he means, it sounds a little weird, heh.

    Good post, I like it. I had something to add, but it got lost.

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