Tattoo’s, no tat you

i have a friend back in texas that’s a tattoo artist. REALLY cool guy. he’s native american, very spiritual dude, very chill. i woke up the other morning and saw the most amazing, yet disappointing sight ever on his FB. there are no words, you must see for yourself.

this makes me weep. you know how most people react when they see animal victims of oil spills and whatnot. this is my oil covered penguin. obviously this girls worth is LOW.

first and foremost i DO NOT dig tat’s on women. BUT, let me explain…i don’t really mind a girl having a tat, but EXCESSIVE tat’s (see above) is WAAAAAY too much for me. seriously, i don’t care how cool this girl above is…..i’d NEVER commit to her. bang her: YES!!! (esp TF her) serious gf: NO. and you just know this girl’s got WAY more tats you can’t see.

ladies, here’s the thing. by and large women’s bodies are fucking beautiful. the curves, the lines, everything about a woman’s body is the real art. tat’s distract male attention away from that natural beauty. i no longer see an epic rack here. i see a ROOOOONED rack. seriously, if there were a PETA for sweater cow’s they’d give this chick the business. i realize there are some guys that dig this and i’d be willing to bet 3 things about said guys: they’re criminals, players, or total betas.

secondly. no point in sugar-coating it: excessive tat’s are masculine. it’s a form of peacocking. as far as i’m concerned a lot of tat’s on a woman is totally unfeminine and as one person put it, “show’s poor impulse control”. and well, i don’t know about you other guys, but i DO NOT want to be saddled with a woman who looks like a fucking cartoon when she’s in her 40’s. it may be cute when yer 20, but it’s fucking gross when you’re at the point of your life that you’ll spend the greatest deal of your time and have to rationalize it with, “i was young and naive/stupid/whatever.” considering the nature of the SMP and a woman being in her prime for a relatively brief time, the poor decision in your 20’s is a CLEAR signal to a man when you’re in your later year’s.

look, i’d NEVER drop a girl over a tat, but you ladies have to realize you’re doing yourself a disservice by getting lots of them. IF you must, the sexiest tats on a woman are the ones you really don’t see outright, then….as you undress her: BAM!!!! “oh wow, i didn’t know you had that. kinda like that.” i was on my first date with the GF back in japan and we were doing the getting to know you crap and she brought up tats and i gave her the above explanation. i told her, “i don’t have any tattoos, but i i think if i were undressing a woman for the first time and noticed she had…..like, a little heart inside her bikini line. SEXY!!!!!” she smiled and agreed. then i said, “it’s even hotter if she has something sexy written inside the heart.” she asked what would be sexy and gave an actual look of curiousity. “iiii dunno, something sexy. simple. something liiiiike……aaaaah. BLACK COCK!!!” she looked at me for a second, and she burst out laughing. i told myself, “yup, we’re gonna get along just fine.”


33 Comments on “Tattoo’s, no tat you”

  1. That’s one of the most disgusting tattoos I’ve ever seen.

  2. Tom says:

    Tattoos are *at best* neutral with regards to the effect on a woman’s beauty. At worst it’s a total boner killer – I wouldn’t touch the woman above with a 10 foot pole, no matter how epic her rack may be.

  3. Tom says:

    And having “Know Your Worth” emblazoned across your tits is so sadly ironic.

  4. Anacaona says:

    Oh boy that is like the worst tattoo ever all over her boobs, oh well she will get a lot of bangs over it that is for sure. Oh well Danny if is any consolation people can get tatoos erased now a days it takes forever and is painful but is truth. Hopefully she comes to her senses at some point.
    I always wanted a tatoo and I will probably get one at some point but I want to find some perfect symbol or image and the perfect place in my body to put it But nothing gross I wouldn’t want the ER guys making jokes at my expense if they ever seen it. But then like my husband says “Honey no matter what you will never be the weirdest thing a Paramedic has seen in his life” :p

  5. MissMarie says:

    I’ve always kind of entertained the idea of having a life-sized ladybug on my hip… But I know it’ll never happen, so it’s a moot point.

  6. Gwen says:

    Oh, she’s going to hate that in a few years.

  7. Spacetraveller says:

    Danny,

    What I want to know is, how did you finally find my pic?

    🙂

    Ha ha ha…

    You know, a tattoo like that on a woman speaks volumes. Grerp posted something similar recently about some woman called Cho (I forget her first name).

    It screams ‘self-hatred’.

    Tragic indeed, and as Tom said, the “Know your worth” bit makes it ever more ironic.

    On a side note, I am website-less for a few more hours…looking forward to getting back online!

  8. OffTheCuff says:

    Lots of tattoos always like HAIR to me at a distance. Hairy chests, backs, or arms are not feminine.

    Bad implants, too. What is that S-curve near her pits?

    • MissMarie says:

      That’s armpit fat 😉 I vote not an implant job, more likely that she was heavier at some point and has lost most of the weight.

      • dannyfrom504 says:

        based on the pics on her F…….

        OOOOH, POP QUIZ!!!!!!

        who in the class can guess if this ladies FB page is private or can anyone who wants view her pictures? this should be an easy one.

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      ST- it also screams “attention-whore” LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT ME!!!!!

      had daddy just given her a few more hugs once in a while.

      On 1/26/12, danny edwards wrote: >

  9. Bellita says:

    Last night, I was just watching an old episode of All Star Family Fortunes (the British version of Family Feud with celebrity contestants) and one of the categories was: “Something a woman might have tattooed on her body.”

    There were six possible answers, and I almost wish I could say this tattoo covers the majority of them . . . but not quite. It does include the top answer, though, and several of the contestants’ guesses! If it weren’t so sad, it would be hysterical . . .

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      i ran into this this girl i knew back in Spain here and she’s a really pretty girl. we talked for 5 minutes and when she turned around it was apparent that her entire shoulder and upper back was covered in a ink. she went from a 8 to “not even on my radar” LIKE THAT!!!!

      sad

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      MissMalice- “that to people in the quote-unquote bodymod community, she looks awesome and it doesn’t affect her SMP at all–within that community, anyway.” i know where this girl lives, and it ain’t LA or NY. i have no doubt that there’s a certain subculture that exists that think she’s hot. let’s check back on her in 15 years.

      and i know that artist that did this work. he’s VERY good.

      On 1/26/12, danny edwards wrote: > i ran into this this girl i knew back in Spain here and she’s a really > pretty girl. we talked for 5 minutes and when she turned around it was > apparent that her entire shoulder and upper back was covered in a ink. > she went from a 8 to “not even on my radar” LIKE THAT!!!! > > sad > >

  10. I’ve seen some excellent chest tattoos on (mostly middle-aged) women, but most often they were part of a post-mastectomy kind of thing and the ink meant a lot to them because covering the scars with flowers or what-have-you made their bodies acceptable to them again. In those cases, not only did the designs flow with their bodies well, but the art quality was excellent.
    And I’m slightly biased here because I think tattoos are awesome, provided they aren’t overdone and gaudy.

    However.
    This is just not going on my aforementioned list of “excellent chest tattoos on women.” It’s not that the art is bad–it’s certainly not the tattooist’s fault–it’s just that it doesn’t fit quite right with her body and aesthetically, it just seems “off.” So yeah, I would agree somewhat that she “rooned” her chest by conventional aesthetics, though I can garantee that to people in the quote-unquote bodymod community, she looks awesome and it doesn’t affect her SMP at all–within that community, anyway. So I definitely see both perspectives here–but I still don’t like her tattoo. It looks like stickers, or maybe a tshirt design. I mean, if you’re going to get something that looks like a tshirt design on your chest, why not just get a tshirt. Zazzle.com exists, after all.

  11. Stargate Girl says:

    I have 2 tattoos. it took me a long time to get any because if I had one, it needed to mean something to me, not just be a complete impulse issues. On April 4, 2007 my then 4 year old son was dx’d with Type 1 diabetes. For those not in the know, it’s an autoimmune disease. his body no longer makes insulin, and without insulin, you die. I have an awareness ribbon with a moon and some stars along with his name and Dx date. Our lives were irrevocably changed that day. it’s on inside of my right ankle. easily covered, and easily seen if I want.

    On July 5, 2009 my parents were in a horrible car accident. My dad was killed immediately, my Mom died on July 11 with my sister and I at her side, My Mom loved hummingbirds, and the day of their funeral, 2 hummingbirds visited us, alighting upon a bush so close we could touch them if we wanted. We felt it was a message that they’re ok. I have a hummingbird on my right shoulder. Again, easily hidden, or shown.

    I care not for every square inch of skin to be covered by art, but it’s a matter of personal preference. I would never just have one slapped on for the fun of it. If you’re going to, in theory, have something indelibly put into your skin, it should mean something to you. I may get another one at some point, but at the moment, nothing fits my personal criteria.

  12. Random Angeleno says:

    Well there is a subculture for that. Not where I hang out.

    Warning women, there are many men who are turned off by big tats.

    There’s this nice girl I know, I’d hit on her, but I go limp when I think about her entire left arm covered in tats. Not attractive!

    If you have a small subtle tattoo that has deep meaning to you and is usually covered, I may let it slide. Anything bigger and you are at most just a short term fling to me if you get that far. And mostly you won’t. And I’m always asking myself why do otherwise decent or better looking girls mark themselves up like this…

    When I was young, I saw the older guys who had tattoos while in the service 20, 30, 40, 50 years before; those tattoos looked OLD and FRAYED and FADED. Thank goodness they were mostly small. Think of all those large tattoos when they get old… that’s one UGLY picture!!!

    Heck, I can even tolerate body piercings better than tattoos, at least those are optional and can be got rid of easily as long as they’re not too grotesquely deforming. Any young person with body piercings can easily dump them all when it’s time to grow up, not so with tattoos.

  13. deti says:

    Ewwww.

    In my opinion, ladies, if you want a tattoo, you can have ONE.

    Make a fist. Look at the back of your hand. See that area between your knuckles and wrist? That’s the size of the ONE tattoo you may have.

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      deti- hmmmmmmm. i think if i saw excessive tats from the get go, i’d just file her in my “not interested” file. if it’s a current gf i guess all i could do is voice my opinion and thoughts on it. ultimately i’d be her call, but i’d definitely be gauging if she took my thoughts into consideration. IF she ended up going with something huge and gaudy, i’d take it as a sign and start withdrawing myself from the relationship.

      • deti says:

        I just think a woman shouldn’t be getting tatttoos mostly for the reasons in the OP. She’s going to have to continually explain it, especially if it’s in a visible area.

        • dannyfrom504 says:

          Deti- OH I’M WITH YAH!!!! hence the post. like i said, to me they detract from a woman’s natural beauty. small and visible only when naked is fine. but when she’s got on a girly top and TAH-DOW!!!!! ink explosion that disappears into the shirt….

          ew.

  14. Stargate Girl says:

    Well, just remember, if you get a rose, make it a short stemmed, cos in 40 years it’s likely to be a long stemmed one 😀

  15. Athor pel says:

    Can you imagine putting the tattoo on those breasts? That is hours of work right there. Hours of titty squeezin’. Gotta have a steady rest for the ink slingin’ hand. One hand will have to always be making that titty steady for the inking hand. And you’re getting paid to do it. She is wanting you to be squeezin’ the titty for to get the ink on there better.

    Boy howdy, makes me think hard about a career change.

    Not really, but

    damn

    titty squeezin’, that’s….. distracting.

  16. Days of Broken Arrows says:

    Great write up. Not much I can add — you hit all the important points and made me remember why I don’t hit on women with tats.

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