i’d seen this commercial a LOOOONG time ago and have been waiting for it to be on youtube. when i first saw it i wanted to slap the phone out the kids hand, then beat the piss out of the dad while yelling, “YER SON’S A FUCKING PUSSY YOU FAILURE!!!!!!” seriously…..if this is what boys are being raised into……we’re fucking doomed.
watch and discuss…
this weekend i headed south to visit the sister (i had some stuff to drop off and my mom flew in). well, yesterday my sis had a TON of homework to do, mom needed a nap, and the brudduh-in-law went to the gym. that meant one thing: someone had to look after my niece. i scooped her little ass up and headed to the local wing place the fam frequents. now my niece is a ROCK-STAR in this place. ALL the girls that work there know her and love her. all my nieces and nephews rock…seriously. well, my sister’s kid is a special needs child. she’s autistic and has recently began an upswing from lifelong development prohibiting epilepsy. she’s 8 but mentally she’s about 4. we sat down and i ordered for us and the waitress IMMEDIATELY went on to chatting up the niece. after about 15 seconds she finally looked at me and said, “and who are you?” i answered, “ask her who she danced with at disney.” she looked ar my niece and asked and the little-one prattled on about chip-and-dale and the camel that spit on her. all the while the waitress would look back at a smiling uncle. after a few minutes the waitress looked at me and i said, i’m j********’s brother, Danny. the waitress shook my hand and asked, where is she?” i replied, “she has homework, mi-mi needs a nap, k****** is at the gym, and i’m taking my girl out for lunch.” i looked at my niece, “who am i bi-bi?” my niece coo’d, “Ko-Ko- Danny (uncle Danny)”. the waitress let out a, “aaaaaaaaaaw. that’s so cute. very sweet of you to look after her for j*******.” i laughed, “why wouldn’t i, who WOULDN’T want to take this girl out for chicken tenders?” the waitress laughed and agreed. this was TOO easy. wanna see uncle game…….
now, apply this scenario with 5 other waitresses. they talk to my niece then want to know i am and give the EXACT same reaction. the second the waitress asked about me, i reframed it back to the niece. THEN, i told them who i was. it went smooth as silk. i didn’t even really escalate. my sister will do that for me next time she heads in. see, my sis and her hubster are regular’s there, and ALL the waitress love my niece. i’m heading back to Jax in a few hours so i didn’t really hit on the waitress’ but i had them eating out of Ko-Ko Danny’s hand. if i lived out here, i’d clean up. lol. and get this, my niece eat’s food spicier than most of you reading this site. i LOVE it. definitely my family. and she ate her whole plate and 3 of my SPICY jerk wings. sis calls her “moose. lol. don’t believe me……
MUH GIRL. lol. i forgot i uploaded this so…..have some fun watching the finest english staffordshire bull terrier do his thing.
all in all it was a fun weekend. saw the fam, chilled my niece. got lit with the brudduh-in-law (when he and i get together we CARPET BOMB my sis with neg’s. lol) and watched swamp people. today, i’ll take the sis to the air force base so she could look at easter dresses for her child. having a blast, too bad i have to head back north in a few hours. BUT…..spring turkey season starts up in about 10 days, i need to get back in the forest. lol. to be continued…….
today i will be going to 2 extremes with the books. i will be showing my geek side and my romantical/refined side as well. let’s start with the geek shit first.
Alien Vs. Predator: Prey- by Steve Perry. (I SHOULDA BEEN GOOOOOOONE!!!!!!!) and Stephenani Perry. i always dug the alien
just kidding, only like the first 2 and predator movies. when the nerd rumor-mill started to speak of a possible AVP film i learned about the books. this one is pretty much the basis for the first AVP movie, but the book is BOSS!!!!! a woman takes a job providing security for a colony on a remote planet. the group finds themselves in the middle of the predator’s (yautja) hunting the aliens. it’s a really good story.
Memories of my Melancholy Whores- Gabriel Marquez’. fuck “Love in the Time of Cholera”, this is a GREAT book. the unnamed protagonist is an un-named journalist and life-long bachelor. he writes for a paper and is isn’t really anything special. on the eve of his 90th birthday he decides to give himself the gift of a night of love with a young virgin. he’s ALWAYS solicited prostitutes. a local madam buys a young, beautiful woman for him. what occurs is him reliving past memories. i’m not going to ruin this for you, but it’s a for over a year he simply watches the young girl sleep. He says, “This was something new for me. I was ignorant of the arts of seduction and had always chosen my brides for a night at random, more for their price than their charms, and we had made love without love, half-dressed most of the time and always in the dark, so we could imagine ourselves as better than we were … That night I discovered the improbably pleasure of contemplating the body of a sleeping woman without the urgencies of desire or the obstacles of modesty.”
DAY-UM!!!!! it’s a good book, and it’s relatively short.
tonight’s music will not feature a band but a subgenre of music: POST-PUNK. post-punk came about…..well, just after the punk scene broke out in the late 1970’s. it found root in the indie scene and spawned: goth, industrial, and alternative music. the last 3 video’s are for…..well, she knows. lol. and yes, i own every album that i’m posting here.
i saw this today and i laughed my ass off. watch the video and we’ll discuss below. oh, this went down in Canada.
anyone care to chime in about what you noticed about her.
what a fucking abomination. that CAN’T be a skirt. good for dad stepping up and telling this walking “fuck me” sign to exercise a little decency. notice how nonchalantly she responds, “stop yelling.” she seems oblivious to the fact that her ass is hanging out. even worse, she’s probably DOESN’T CARE that she has to pull her skirt down every 10 seconds. she circles the pole (probably getting ready for work) which makes her skirt go up which is her non-verbally saying, “LOOK AT ME!!!!! LOOK AT ME!!!!! LOOK AT ME!!!!!” if only her daddy had bought her a pony. what’s funny is if i opened her and made a sexual comment, i’d almost BET she’d act offended “what, do you take me for some kinda canadian slut??!!!” to which i’d have to answer, “why NO, i certainly would pin you to a location. i think in terms of slut-dom….you have INTERNATIONAL potential.”
THIS is what’s become of young women these days. Badger ran a good post about women not wanting to be pretty, but now aiming for “hot”. well, hot is SLUTTY. i’ll fuck a hot girl, but i wouldn’t date her. i’d def bend her savage ass over and give her the business, then she’d never see me again. smh. i don’t know why i’m linking this since he get’s 10 times my traffic and you all have probably already read it. but he’s my boy so here’s some link love buddaaaay.
it’s officially Lent and that means
i have to quit chewing my nails for Lent that i can no longer eat meat on fridays. see, i AM a good catholic boy. so i’ll be posting food porn based on non-meat meals. tonight i feature, BBQ Shrimp. now BBQ shrimp is AMAZING!!!! i should also point out fellah’s that it’s a VERY sexy dish to make for a date. you have to eat it with your hands and it’s messy. food+messy+using your hands=TINGLE CRACK. you can cook this in a relatively short time and it can even be ladled over pasta (i prefer linguine or angel hair). i’d recommend making it once with a 1/2 lb of shrimp and 1/4 of the ingredients listed. adjust the worchestershire sauce and seasonings to suit you. then when you cook for her it’ll be battle-ready. you’ll be surprised at how easy it is to make.so….let’s get to it. you need:
- 2 lbs unpeeled shrimp
- 1/4 cup Worcestershire sauce
- juice of 2 lemons
- 2-4 teaspoons cajun seasoning (or seasoning salt)
- 3-6 cloves of chopped garlic (i use 3 TBS of garlic paste….i’m lazy)
- 2 1/2 sticks os butter, cubed
- 2-4 TBS cayenne pepper (more or less to taste)
- French bread (or a baguette, cut in half…..then cut into 3-4″ slices)
place all the ingredients in a roasting pan (3 qt works fine). you basically want a layer 2 shrimp deep. place the rack in the center of your oven, and place the shrimp under the broiler. cook in 4 minute intervals, remove from oven, stir and place back in the oven for another 4 minutes. it’s usually done after 4 passes in the oven. plate and serve with the french bread slices.
this will also be featured on http://chefinjeans.com/ . in case you didn’t know, i’ll be guest posting on this site as well, so check it out and get your cook on.