The best Wingman EVAAAAAAAAAAR!!!!!!!!

took paw-paw to krewe of Napoleon tonight. look, he’s 88 years old. it takes him 10 minutes to walk one block. and once he get’s to our site, he’s wiped out and needs to sit down (you remember the pic of us yesterday, that’s our site). right out the gate it was bomb-stiggity. i walked to store to get paw-paw a bottle of water, when i came back the parade was about to begin. there were a decent amount of people on the street and sat down to drink my beer. there was a family from texas next to us and in the group there were 2 cute girls. one of the girls finally made eye contact with me and i did my thing where i stick my tongue out at her. she laughed and tapped her friend i when smile at them. they looked at each other and giggled, and i went over to my paw-paw to when he motioned for me to come over. he made a comment about something maw-maw used to do at the parades and i laughed. i looked over at the girls and could see one of them looking at me with the “aaaaaaw.” look.  i told paw-paw, “i think that girl likes you.” he looked at her and waved. the 2 girls came over and the one i stuck my tongue out at asked, “is this your grandfather?” i smiled and said it was, “he doesn’t get to go to parades as often as he likes so i’ve been taking him.” the 2 girls coo’d, “that’s SOOOOOO SWEET of you.” i laughed and said, “well he also likes to come out here and hit on girls too, so be careful.”

the 2 girls were cousins and they came in from dallas to stay with their aunt and uncle in metairie. they names were jenna and janie. janie was the one i stuck my tongue out, and they were both VERY cute and in their early 20’s. well, they LOOOOVED paw-paw. at one point jenna was sitting in his lap (i was on the phone with my mom) and next thing i know jenna was doubled over laughing and giggling on his lap. i got off the phone and apparently she made a comment about what a cutie he was and he told her,

“i might be too old to cut the mustard, but i can still lick the jar.”


i shook my head and went back to talking to janie, they’re in town for a few more days and i told her MAYBE i’d be willing to show the 2 of them around. i number closed just as the parade started rolling. paw-paw got a nice kiss on the cheek and jenna went back over to her family. i have NO DOUBT that having him there broke down their defenses and gave me a bigger green light than had i been alone.any of you ladies care to chime in as to why? i’d LOVE to hear your opinion. oh…..i won’t be calling janie btw. i got too much going on to hang out with her.

right out the gate i got a HUGE surprise as Troy from the show swamp people was on his own float. i was soooooo fucking stoked. Troy fucking owns.  peep:

if you listen close he responds to me “CHOOT ‘IM AGAIN!!!!!” that made my fucking day right there. lol. here’s some more parade vids for you. there was a star wars group and i JUST happened to be wearing my “star wars” t-shirt. all the guys were pointing at me as they walked by. they were in FULL costume. boba-fett, storm-troopers, chewy, han, luke. it was fucking awesome. well Vader was on the float. and…well, take a look.

vader pointed at me and threw me a bead. WINSAUCE!!!!!!! that was my mom responding to me btw when i said, “how cool was that?” lol. see…i really am a huge fucking geek at heart.  and finally, here’s a vid of the Swamp People float, OH…the theme for the parade was “a dose of reality” so all the floats were based on reality shows: survivor, dirty jobs, swamp people, you get the idea.

i’ve done my best to give you guys an idea of what it’s like in NO for mardi gras. hopefully i did a decent job. i’m still collecting little bits of wisdom about women so that post will be up later. it’s a work in progress. i noticed something jotted down on a piece of paper by my paw-paw computer. he wrote this about my maw-maw (RIP)

“i called my little lady yum-yum. because she was sweeter than a ripe plum. i made her my wife, for the rest of life. that goes to show i’m no dum-dum.”

aaaaaaaaw. how awesome is that? lol.

stay up.

14 Comments on “The best Wingman EVAAAAAAAAAAR!!!!!!!!”

  1. Danny,

    And I thought Brody’s alphadom couldn’t be topped…how wrong was I?
    Hmm, with my hypergamy and his pre-selection, I think your paw-paw could be gaining rapidly on Brody here 🙂
    Except…Brody is British. Can’t top that!

    Shame you won’t call Janie…but I know you must have solid reasons for that…
    Hugs to Paw-paw and Brody…

    “i might be too old to cut the mustard, but i can still lick the jar.”
    Hilarious. Now there’s tea all over my computer keyboard.

  2. MissMarie says:

    “i might be too old to cut the mustard, but i can still lick the jar.”

    Oh dear lord!!! You see, this is what I deal with all the time! There’s something about much older guys, especially if they’re someone’s grandpa, that kinda gives them free license to be as filthy as they like because, hey, it’s grandpa… I think girls respond to that because it’s a very safe flirting opportunity, there’s very little chance anyone’s gonna think your a tease/ho for flirting with the old guys and they’re an awful lot of fun. The 65+ crowd is how I pull most of my tips when I bartend, the last three nights I’ve worked I’ve gotten $20, $23, and $25 tips from them. I’d SO flirt with your Paw Paw

  3. Your paw–paw is such a “dirty old man”. I Love it!! That was a great line. OTC and I had a great laugh. You tell him to keep living his life to the fullest!!

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      Lol. Interesting….first time I’ve ever heard that. *rolls eyes* he’s even mentioned that he’s gonna miss Brody.

      It was a definitely a fun visit.

      Sent from my iPhone

  4. I nominated you for an award… It’s not “The Sexy Beast” award or anything, buuut it’s an award. lol. Congrats!

  5. Also, I think Miss Marie is right about paw-paw being a safe flirting opportunity. I also looooved the licking the jar comment. Lol. You being with him also gives girls a peak in to the softer side, which can be down right irresistible (like puppies & kittens) — & it’s turned to sexy when balanced with some charisma and super inner confidence.

  6. ASF says:

    I did not see enough boobies. 😦

  7. Aww. That little poem is so sweet.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s