The Best Pick up LinePosted: February 24, 2012
well, ok…to be fair, i NEVER use pick-up lines. but once i’ve opened a woman i’ll usually ask her about the worst pick-up line she’s ever heard. after she let loose with a few, i’ll usually tell her that i know the best pick-up line ever. when i tell her this she’ll light up and ask to hear it. i know you want to know what it is so…….say i’m chatting up a woman named michelle, the line is:
“fuck me if i’m wrong, but is your name Jenny?”
i’ve NEVER had a girl not laugh with that. feel free to use it. i’d LOVE to hear some of the bad line’s you ladies have heard in the past. now i’m going to take a moment to give all you lady readers a nice happy pill. and have you guys ever had a decent line to run?
today there was a code blue drill in labor and delivery. i had to go upstairs and stand-by, which means i park the portable unit and stay out of the way. i heard a baby cry and walked into the room. there a young corpsman about to do a heel stick bilirubin and the young lady was NONE to pleased. she was a 3 week old girl who was having liver issues and she was about to go home that day. i am a master of babyjitsu and decided to help the kid out; i washed my hands and walked over to the young HM. he lowered the bed and began milking her heel and i put my index finger in the babies mouth. she immediately got her maggie simpson on and didn’t say another peep and when he stuck her heel, she let out a tiny whimper like she was going to cry then i lightly pressed the roof of her mouth. she went back to sucking and let didn’t say another thing and was completely still. the young HM asked me about my experience and he thanked me for helping him. “this is so much easier with 2 people HM1.” i just smiled and said, “that’s why i helped you bro, besides i don’t wanna be anywhere NEAR the debacle going on with that drill.” the young HM asked me how many kids i had (i get asked that A LOT) and he didn’t believe me when i told him i was never married. oh, the little girls name was Kaylee.