Never Me

it’s been a banner day for old Danny. today rather than waste 10  minutes of your life that you can never get back, i’ve decided i’m going to teach you something today. and RibbonButterfly and SpaceTraveller are NOT allowed to answer this. lol.

_________________ is a benign inflammation of the costal cartilage, which is a length of cartilage which connects each rib, except the eleventh and twelfth, to the sternum. It causes pain in the chest that can be reproduced by pressing on the affected area between the ribs. This pain can be quite excruciating, especially after rigorous exercise. While it can be extremely painful, it is considered to be a benign condition that generally resolves. Though ___________ appears to resolve itself, it can be a recurring condition that can appear to have little or no signs of onset. Treatment options are quite limited and usually only involve rest and analgesics but in a very small number of cases cortisone injections and even surgery are sometimes necessary. It is recommended that _______________ patients should refrain from physical activity to prevent the onset of an attack. the name of this condition is…….

  • deep tissue ecchymosis
  • pectoralis minor
  • costrocondritis
  • accute pnuemothorax

if you picked “costrocondritis”, winner winner chicken dinner. gold star for you.

now for the backstory. the lower-left lateral…….lower-left side of my chest was a bit sore from all the coughing i’ve been doing. boo-fucking-hoo. last night i was getting up for a glass of water and as i was sitting up, i coughed. i instantly felt a sharp pain to the sore area and knew right away i was in trouble. my chest was on fire and i knew i was in for an interesting week. i’ve treated my Marines for it and basically you can’t do shit about. if i cough or move in certain directions it flares up for a second. i went to sick call get my motrin and since i knew what was wrong, i knew the visit would be short. well, of course since i work with a bunch of combat vets and general alpha shit-heads, every time i passed one of the guys they pretended they were going to punch me in the ribs. honestly, if i cough or disturb it, it feels like a baseball bat got slammed into my chest. the pain is fucking brutal. and there’s NOTHING you can do about it. one of the girls i work with  (mexican) saw us BS’ing and asked me what my problem was, “you look bad dude, sup?” one of the guys mentioned i had costrocondritis and she replied that that sucks and what did i plan on doing about it.

“get some motrin and a straw.” the guys all laughed and nodded. she look confused and said, “a straw.” one of my friends chimed in, “yeah, to suck it up.” i nodded, “pretty much.” she just rolled her eyes and said, “whatever loser.” that’s hers and my game. she sees me and laughs and calls me loser, BUUUUT…..i should also point out that she pretty much ignores everyone else. so, the little game is her form of validation to me. then she did the unthinkable.

she asked me if i was going to get sent home for it. i looked at her, “you crazy? FOR THIS.” look, i’m not having someone else cover my shift so i can go home like some kid with a skinned knee. fuck that. i went to my appointment, got my motrin and went back to work. i need to be bleeding from the eyes to go home from work. yeah, it hurts, yeah i can’t life things well, but i’m NOT going home for it. that’s some woman-shit right there (no offense Ladies). it’s gonna take more than some chest pain to put me outta commission.

not this Sailor, said Dan. now it’s nothing a little tiger-balm and beer can’t fix.

i got some REALLY good news yesterday. my best home-skillet is going to be back from Afghanistan this month. this fool is my muh-fuckah. he’s deployed with, well…i can’t say. but he’s in the shit killing with the good ‘ol USMC. this guy is an absolute, stone-cold killer. i’m not making a joke either. i’m not gonna put his business out there, but i’d NEVER want to squab with him. i’ll leave it at that. when i heard his voice and he realized it was me he chirped, “MAN i got some stories for you.” i asked, “you spilling Muji blood Carnal?” he laughed and said, “we’ll talk in person, not over a land-line.” i’m sure some of you might be interested in what he shares with me, but i can’t. this is a fraternity, and if you haven’t spilled blood, you aren’t in. if you haven’t been in the sand, you aren’t in.

besides, it MIGHT be classified. and if it’s not, you civilians JUST CAN’T relate and/or need to hear what’s REALLY going down out there.

more good news on planet Danny. christina hendrick and olivia munn had nakie pics leaked online. WINSAUCE. the spank-bank is now full.


14 Comments on “Never Me”

  1. “and RibbonButterfly and SpaceTraveller are NOT allowed to answer this. lol.”

    Hehe, that’s discrimination!

    😀

    “more good news on planet Danny. christina hendrick and olivia munn had nakie pics leaked online. WINSAUCE. the spank-bank is now full.”

    *Rolls eyes*

  2. Ribbon Butterfly says:

    😛 Ribbon Butterfly will answer whatever she pleases! (In the safety of her own brain).

  3. Spooky says:

    Well, that sounds incredibly painful. At least it’s temporary! I hope you feel better soon.
    And congratulations on your friend coming home. That’s great!

  4. Gwen says:

    I was nodding my head by the time I got to costal. Had that a few years ago, when my kids were tiny. Lots of lifting when you have a baby and a toddler. I didn’t know what was going on, but I was scared I was having a heart attack. It was a relief to have my doctor tell me I was OK, but I would have preferred getting something that a simple prescription could have fixed. Ibuprofen / Tylenol / aspirin only help so much. 🙂 You have my sympathy. Here’s to it healing up faster than expected.

  5. susanawalsh says:

    Poor Danny! That is the worst cough turned into a nightmare that I’ve ever heard. Take it easy and rest for a change, at least while you’re not at work. If you get lucky it should be girl on top. 🙂

  6. The Navy Corpsman says:

    I recall the first time I got included… the gunny decided to make us run our patrol in Beirut, right in the middle of the Green Like, and I was one of two that made it without puking in 100 degree heat. He was the other one, and he asked me in front of the entire company, “don’t you just hate POGs?” It was great til I made it to my bunk and puked all over it.

    He was the one that kept me sane, after the bombings.

    The Navy Corpsman


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