The Hamster is strong with this One

today at work i ran into this girl when i went to the galley. i ended talking to her when she eventually ended up in my neck of the hospital. i noticed she had a Spanish last name and i learned she was Cuban, we spoke a little and i eventually mentioned the blog and how i teach guys about chatting up women and i give relationship advice. she immediately jumped in with, “i need relationship advice.” i gave her the site and she left. i ended up having to go up to where she works and told her to come see me when she wasn’t busy.

she showed up and told me she went to the site. well hell that was quick. then i realized this was the first reader that i talked to IRL as i gave advice. lol. here’s what i can share:

24 years old, VERY cute, she just got to the hospital, and she “kinda” has a dude. as she mulled over her situation i listened to her and this is what i took issue with

  • he’s VEEEEEEEEERY far away. like, more than a 15 hour plane ride away.
  • he has 2 kids and is 26 years old (as i recall)
  • they are on “hiatus” at the moment
  • she’s going to visit him for a week.
  • she want’s to “keep him, he’s the one.”
  • she’s planning on getting out of the navy and moving to where he lives while she goes to college

i told her it’s best to move on and let it go. but she insisted about why she should keep at it and to be honest…..there’s no point going on, because…i was having a conversation with the hamster. i told her that her hamster had showed up and she asked what the hamster is. i explained it to her and she immediately understood. then she mentioned she wanted to know what to do to get guy and make the “relationship” pan out. i told her, “you told me all the problems you have in this and you STILL wanna keep at it?” WOW.

ok, i told her that she can go ahead and give it a whirl and in a few years she’s gonna realize what a HUGE mistake she’s made. but by then it’ll be too late, and she’ll never be able to get that time back. she gave me permission to post about this so i wonder if she’ll comment. i’m going to introduce her to my girl So-So (So said she wanted to meet her anyhow), and i plan on showing her some of the local area. ultimately she’s a cool girl, but the hamster cannot be denied. i mean, you can lead a horse to water…..

to be continued.

oh, and if you choose to comment on her situation, remember the rule…..this is not a beat up on a woman. play nice, or i’ll block the comment.

stay up.


13 Comments on “The Hamster is strong with this One”

  1. Dogsquat says:

    I know this particular human being who thinks of “advice” as an exchange of emotional states, reassurance, and some concerned-looking eyebrow movements. Usually, this takes place over several cups of tea, accompanied by constant repetition of the magically soothing syllable,”Hmmmm….”

    This other human being I know wants to be told how not to fuck up. Occasionally, the question is geared towards un-fucking something, but concise instructions are sought in either case. Now, when this person was younger, rapt attention was paid to said “advice”. Notes were taken, situations carefully considered, pros and cons diligently accounted for. Then, right when the last beer started heading toward Bladder Land, this person went ahead and did whatever the hell they were gonna do anyway.

    The only real outward difference in these two yahoos is that one of ’ems got boobs and the other don’t.

    Yours in Offensive Stereotypes that are true fairly often,

    Dogsquat

  2. Random Angeleno says:

    The Hamster (capitalized) is strong in this one.

    Sounds like she only wants advice that agrees with her. This is why it’s often difficult for me to give advice to a woman … because it is frequently not what she wants to hear. If a woman asks me for advice, I try to ask a few questions to gauge her feelings and help her to direct herself toward some reasonable resolution (reasonable in my opinion), but if her Hamster shows up strong, I’m done… gotta step back and find my Force-shield. Speaking of which, where’s my pet ysalamiri? Damn, where’d he go? Did he crawl behind the dryer again? Grrr….

    Back on topic: she is stubborn, not necessarily a bad thing, but better to be stubborn for the right reasons and situations.

    She may have to do the crash and burn thing before she will genuinely listen to others. Does not seem to be anyone in her family to hold her feet to the fire. This isn’t just her, this often seems to be the case for many women (and men too).

    Good luck.

  3. ASF says:

    The question is: what did this guy do and say to activate her hamster in such a fashion? That’s where the lesson lies.

  4. aneroidocean says:

    He’s got kids, he’s far away, he’s not available to her. He probably initiated the “hiatus” and that’s exactly the type of thing that makes her hamster run wild.

    No wonder she wants to hear her own answers, not other people’s solid advice.

    My advice, let Danny PIITB.

  5. Spooky says:

    Yikes.
    I have to say, I usually just say this to people who tell me that they’re “kinda” in a relationship:

    “You know, it’s hard to be ‘slightly’ dead or ‘only a little bit’ pregnant. Either you are in a relationship, or you are not. And based on what you’ve just told me, you are not. You can ignore that and end up absolutely crushed down the line because you ignored all the tells, or you can go, ‘This person doesn’t think I’m worth his/her time, so I’m going to go find someone who does.'”

    The result is generally something along the lines of “But you just don’t understaaaaaand” or “But he treats me differently from everyone else!” which I’ve noticed can often be Hamster-speak for, “I don’t want to hear what you’re saying, lalalalalalalalaaaaa.”

    At which point I shrug and go, “Alrighty then.” Because as everyone has noted, it’s pretty hard to argue with The Hamster.
    I hope that she doesn’t end up learning things the hard way, because she sounds pretty nice.


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