Cosmo feeds the hamster a huge plate

cosmo sucks. for the puropose of this post i feel the need to point out this is directed at the women that actualy READ cosmo. i know most of you ladies on the blogs typically DON’T. the bold comments are my responses.
we evolve hotter-
” A recent study revealed that women are getting better looking through evolution; meanwhile, men are staying the same. After following more than 2,000 people through four decades of life, the study showed that attractive women had 16 percent more children than average-looking chicks and that beautiful people are 36 percent more likely to have a daughter as their firstborn. All those gorgeous daughters mean more beautiful women than in past generations.
oh please dear God tell me this is a joke. i think maybe it’s more like nature has realized “if it ain’t broke don’t fix it.” and if women “evolve hotter” how does that explain the rise in plastic surgeries, and women letting gay men tell them what’s sexy. sounds like DeEvolution. and considering men are more “looks” oriented they’d NEED to. if a woman told me this i’d retort with, “maybe you ‘evolve’ hotter; but men ‘stay’ hotter…longer. i have at least 20 more years of ‘looking good’, once you hit your 30’s, “buh-bye.”
we survive car accidents more often-
“This is sad but true: Men are 77 percent more likely to die in a car accident than women, according to a study done by Carnegie Mellon University. Our boyfriends should be thanking us when we nag them to “Wear your seatbelt!”
 
ok. so what, do you want….a cookie. 
we’re better at seeking comfort-
“A Mind survey of 2,000 people revealed that women are far more likely than men to talk through their problems. Fifty-three percent of women talk to their friends about what’s stressing them out, as opposed to 29 percent of men.”
well no shit, we typically don’t NEED someone to console us.
we’re more recession proof-
“According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, 80 percent of those who have lost their jobs since December 2007 have been men. Ouch. This could be because male-dominated fields have been hit the hardest, like manufacturing and finance. That really sucks…but hey, maybe it’s time more men became nurses and educators.”
well, good….they anwered for me, and we’re all familiar with the feminist controled school systems now, right. ok. ok. ok. we can move on.
we graduate college more often-
“We already know that female enrollment is higher than male, but the Department of Education’s statistics reveal that men are also less likely than women to graduate and get their bachelor’s degrees. Men are also more likely to take longer than five years to complete their degree.”
see above.
we eat healthier-
“A survey of more than 14,000 people, conducted by the University of Minnesota, showed that women choose far healthier foods than men. While men are more likely to chow down on frozen pizza and red meat, women are piling fruits and veggies onto their plates. It all sounds pretty obvious, but we get so much grief for our chocolate addictions that we just had to point this one out!”
BWAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!! see the photo below. per a CDC study female obesity has risen has risen faster than male obesity. so how about yah eat a bowl  o’ dick. besides…..men naturally have a higher BMI anyway.
http://www.livestrong.com/article/167456-male-and-female-obesity/
we have stronger immune systems-
“No wonder men act like such babies when they have a sniffle — women really do have stronger immune systems than men! If there are little battles going on in our bodies, women have a secret weapon: estrogen. A study done by McGill University indicated that estrogen gives women an edge when it comes to fighting off infections. That’s because estrogen confronts a certain enzyme that often hinders the body’s first line of defense against bacteria and viruses.”
so why do they call in sick more often. i keed i keed. you know what fights infection….WHITE BLOOD CELLS. guess where they’re made: in bones. guess who’s bodies are larger and require more blood. again…i think this is suspect. why do i sense SpaceTraveller’s gonna chime in.
we live longer-
“Among the world’s population of those who are over 100 years old, 85 percent are women, according to the New England Centenarian Study. In general, women continue to live five to 10 years longer than men as well.”
why do husbands die before their wives: they WANT TO. i’ll give ’em this one, if they REALLY want to brag about this. pat yourselves…OH NO wait, here’s another cookie.
we we’re better managers. especially in this economy-
“This one is a little controversial, but a slew of experts are confident that women make greater bosses because they are better listeners, mentors, problem solvers, and multitaskers than their male counterparts. In a recent Daily News article, management expert Jay Forte said, “It’s a very service-oriented economy [right now], so you need employees to be motivated. Women are better connectors than men and more astute about knowing how to activate passion in their employees.”
i’m calling Bravo Sierra here. i think this is gender nuetral. i know for a fact some people are better manager’s than others, be it male or female.
we invest better-
“A study of 100,000 portfolios showed that women’s investment returns outperform men’s, 18 percent to 11 percent. This could be because women are typically more cautious with their investment decisions and think longer term.”
i’d like some stats please. unless you mean investng in $300 purses and shoes.
what a load of horse poopy. stay up

28 Comments on “Cosmo feeds the hamster a huge plate”

  1. Once you hit your 30s buh bye? & $300 purses and shoes. Hey, just like you didn’t like being pidgeon holed as a less effective communicator & connector… I don’t like bein’ stuck in the unattractive over 30, can’t make positive investment choices pidgeon hole. 😛 So there.

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      i notice you glossed over the fact that i said i would say this to woman who tried to tell me this little factoid. and i’d say it to get under her skin. see how well it works. lol.

    • jamie says:

      I don’t like it either. I don’t want to be obsolete when I have most of my life ahead of me. And I have spent less than $300 on all my shoes and purses put together. So there.

      • dannyfrom504 says:

        Once again let me point out (like I did at the beginning of this post) is i’d address a woman who told me this said response to get under her skin.

        Sent from my iPhone

  2. just visiting says:

    Danny, Danny, Danny. This is your brain…..This is your brain on Cosmo. lol.
    Cosmo understands it’s readers. It’s worse than hamster food. It’s hamster porn.

  3. deti says:

    “if women “evolve hotter” how does that explain the rise in plastic surgeries, and women letting gay men tell them what’s sexy. sounds like DeEvolution. and considering men are more “looks” oriented they’d NEED to.”

    I was out and about a few weeks ago with my kids and was noticing the young women. Now it might be different in the midwest where I live as compared to other places. But I did note some things about the appearances of a lot of the women.

    1. Many of them are fat. There’s just no nice way to say this. I’m not talking 10 or 15 pounds. I’m talking 40, 50, 60 pounds overweight and up.

    2. They dress terribly. Sweat pants, t-shirts and flip flops are the order of the day.

    3. They don’t do their hair and many don’t try to wear decent make up.

    4. Some of them are with douchebag guys who might or might not be the baby daddies.

    5. The guys they hang with are either douchebags, jerks, or simpering suckups.

    6. They don’t walk so much as they shamble and shuffle. They are rude and short tempered. They look, act, walk and talk like men.

    7. The young women who are good looking act stuck up.

    8. The older women who are good looking look like extras from a “Real Housewives of ….” show or that Dance Moms show. They look like aging cougars/MILFs ready for a night on the town. They are not modest in any way. They look like they are advertising for younger men. They dress to the nines to shop at the mall as if they want to hit on the young guy at the department store or Radio Shack.

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      yeah, i see that too. but it’s less severe here in the south. i noticed the cougar/MILF thing BIG-TIME in san diego. 40-50 year old women were dressing and acting like 16-17 year old girls. smh.

    • So-So says:

      sweat pants and tshirts are comfy…just sayin

      • dannyfrom504 says:

        Everyone….meet So-So. She’s the lass I wrote about in “lessons learned from workIng with a beautiful woman.”

        Hopefully she’ll be stopping by often.

        But be careful…this girl has claws. Lol.

      • aneroidocean says:

        Yeah, you wouldn’t be wearing sweat pants and t-shirts if you lived by the beach. The only girls that do that around here are the fat ones. The rest of them are working that bikini body. If I was a girl I’d want to look good as long as often until I have no choice but to look ugly. Enjoy making yourself look ugly prematurely. Back….to the future!

        @Danny:
        All statistics in all magazines are usually shit. Statistics are usually poorly understood and therefore horribly presented.

        I want a cookie.

  4. Spooky says:

    Wearing sweatpants and a tshirt right now. They’re fantastic.
    Wouldn’t wear the sweatpants out and about, but eh. And I do live near a beach. ‘Course, I hate the beach because there’s usually people and sun involved, so I’m not really sure how that lends anything to my argument.

    Oh god, chick magazines. They’re insane.
    I had a gift subscription to Glamour once and I’ve never felt crappier about myself than in that year. Between the junk about celebrities I didn’t recognize or care about, the diet of the month, the tiny models with perfect everything (yes, yes, Photoshop, I know) and the endless whimpering, it was like a rectangle of estrogen-doused schizophrenia being sent to me every month. Once the subscription ran out, I was only too pleased. I liked reading the old issues of Popular Mechanics someone would bring me once in a while much better anyway.

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      “I liked reading the old issues of Popular Mechanics someone would bring me once in a while much better anyway.”

      and THAT my Angel is why i adore so completely. you don’t have a knife on you right now…do you? lol.

  5. Random Angeleno says:

    Talking with my mother the other day about people and weight in different generations. She’s in her 70’s, still thin and remembers when almost everyone in her generation was thin too. Now she looks at her grandkids generation and sees a lot less thin than she would expect. She’s quite the diplomat so I had to say it for her: there are way more fat kids now. Heck I don’t remember this many when I was growing up.

  6. JS says:

    This one is BS>>>> “we we’re better managers. especially in this economy-
    “This one is a little controversial, but a slew of experts are confident that women make greater bosses because they are better listeners, mentors, problem solvers, and multitaskers than their male counterparts. In a recent Daily News article, management expert Jay Forte said, “It’s a very service-oriented economy [right now], so you need employees to be motivated. Women are better connectors than men and more astute about knowing how to activate passion in their employees.”

    I am a woman and I cannot stand working for women. I love working for men. In fact, whenever I speak with a headhunter I tell them flat-out, I prefer working for me. Male bosses are much more reasonable, patient, and just generally nicer than female bosses.

  7. JS says:

    ooops! I wrote: “I prefer working for me” I meant to write: I prefer working for men. Freudian slip. I guess I would rather work for myself than anyone else. But ya’ll knew what I meant 😉

  8. Danny,

    What’s Cosmo?


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