Into the locker room: Why I tell guys to wait until later to get Married (if they want to)

i talk to a lot of younger guys, guys in their early 20’s (mostly active duty), and it’s not always about military/navy stuff. i talk to them about their relationships and red-pill philosophy. when i talk red-pill they look at me wide-eyed with complete amazement. i always tell them to avoid getting married while on active duty (we already to discussed WHY i tell this to guys), then i advise them to avoid marriage at all costs until they are in their 30’s. now, before hamsters start running wild let me explain WHY i tell them this.

  1. most guys are functionally retarded in their 20’s. i wasn’t really RIGHT until 5-6 years ago. but, once you hit your 30’s, a man is better equipped to be a better partner to a woman. he’s more emotionally mature, and he’s more capable of providing a woman what a woman NEEDS from a man. they may not WANT to admit it, but a woman LOVES a man who has the capacity to provide. i’m not talking rich, i’m talking gainfully employed. in his 20’s, he’s still too green financially and emotionally. so date as much as you can. take your lumps, and soldier through your 20’s. you’ll experience heart-break and get off your ass and do interesting shit to cultivate a personality that interesting. put the xbox down and get out into the world. women OWN the 20’s, they have all the power, and most of them like older guys anyway.
  2. in your 30’s a guy’s sex drive slows down a bit. now i still have a HARDCORE libido. but….i’m no longer controlled by my sex drive, or….at the very least, getting laid isn’t really a priority. once you have that… gain a new perspective on women. you aren’t just looking at them and thinking with your dick. you looking at them my closely, qualifying them based on personality and partner potential. stay in shape, be interesting, and understand game. do that and YOU’LL be in the driver’s seat in qualifying the women you encounter. and more than likely…..a woman of good stock will be chasing after you.
  3. a man in his 30’s is more than likey than a 20ish year old guy to KNOW what he wants out of his life. that is MAJOR tingle crack. at the very least, have an idea. nothing makes you sexier to a woman than having a mission statement. i’m all about this. and you’re more than likely to stick to your guns and or make an educated decision about your life’s path. a good woman will bend over backwards (giggity) to help you get there. and when you do…she’ll swoon and want to show you off.
  4. your dating pool will be even larger in the 30-40’s than in you 20’s. this is directly related to #1. i had a woman ask me today if i’ve ever dated a woman in her 30’s. the answer: no. not because i don’t want to, but the women that gravitate towards me are in their early 20’s. the older women i’ve run into in the past have 2 or more kids and got derailed when i saw (yes actually EXPERIENCED) baby daddy drama on the horizon. so i bailed. i need to be clear here after the “cosmo” post: i NEVER said a woman in her 30’s isn’t sexy or attractive. women are reading WAAAAY too much into the “men crave youth and beauty”. that doesn’t necessarily mean once you hit 30…hang it up, it’s over. that’s preposterous. women just need to be cognizant in the later years that they have younger competition and have to employ something most women in their 20’s don’t know: how to take care of a man. if you’re a GOOD WOMAN, you can keep a good man simply by taking care of him. don’t tolerate disrespect or maltreatment. ladies: take care of yourself, be feminine, and be nurturing.

so guys, remember…..your 20’s are an SMP battleground. collect your victories and losses. and trust me, you’ll have PLENTY of losses. but i’m here to tell you…..if you take the red pill and wait until your 30’s…’ll see a HUGE change in the SMP. i hope this helps.


stay up.

19 Comments on “Into the locker room: Why I tell guys to wait until later to get Married (if they want to)”

  1. deti says:

    “a man in his 30′s is more than likey than a 20ish year old guy to KNOW what he wants out of his life.”

    And less likely to put up with crap in general.

    And more likely to recognize when someone is flinging crap at him.

    And more likely to call out someone flinging said crap.

    And more likely to simply walk away from someone flinging said crap.

  2. Great insight… Well written. Loved it.

  3. This is all very true, Danny.
    Fantastic post 😀

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      Honestly, I get more out of talking to guys and informing them than I do anything else.

      More guys need to learn how to be better men and stronger men.

      Sent from my iPhone

  4. Persistence and resilience are key during the 20s. This decade defines who a man is to be for the rest of his life.

  5. As a 60 year old man who has been with his wife 34 years I absolutely and totally endorse every thing you say. I’ve noticed a trend on the blogs and in our contemporary collective discussion that Dennis Miller calls “overeading”, a trend that attach a lot of expanded nonsense that distorts the writers meaning. Mention money and everyone goes nuts with gold digger and sugar daddy talk. No, But if you are entering a serious relationship, and definitely if you are considering marriage, it is the single most important discussion you can have-and few do. I did, 32 years ago (we’d lived together 2 years). I was 29, about to join a large law firm, and we had to get our expectations lined up. Just because you are financially secure does not guarantee a success full marriage, but being financially insecure comes damn close to guaranteeing an unsuccessful one. Yes, there are exceptions; ask the people who went through them what they were like. And further augmenting your point: I was 37 when we had our first (and only child). 6 years into my law practice, I was ready; I would not have been at 27. Those 10 years allowed me a perspective I would not have had, plus the absence of financial pressure made it all joy, no hassle. I believe the factors that made that so back in the early to mid 80’s are even more so now. Good article, well thought out.

  6. ASF says:

    All so true. I never realized what I wanted in a woman until after getting divorced. Such knowledge might have been helpful in the first place, but being introspective is something I’ve personally come to late in life.

  7. JR says:

    When a person wants to introduce a man to a woman in her 20’s, what does she say? “What does he look like?” In her 30’s? “How much does he make?” In her 40’s? “Where is he?”

  8. dogsquat says:

    Doc, I think young military guys (at least the good ones) are conditioned to be beta as hell.

    I’ve been out for awhile, but I was a grunt Sergeant for many years. An average civilian thinks of a Marine LCpl as some kind of Super-Warrior, but I (and you) know the truth.

    A good grunt Lance Coolie puts his mission first, his buddies second, and himself last. He does what he’s told without complaint, even if it doesn’t make sense to him. He’ll endure incredible hardship without faltering, because that’s his job. He gets a lot of his self-esteem from suffering:

    “Fuck that, Dog! That ain’t shit! This one time, we was up by MSR Sword. It was hot as fuck, and we was almost out of water. The fuckin’ Ell Tee was runnin’ us back and forth, chasin’ some bullshit S-2 fantasy. I din’t get no chow that day on account of Gunny fuckin’ up the head count and Sarn’t P makin’ sure us Team Leaders gave our chows to our guys. Shit was fuuuuucked up, dude! W’unt you know it, I sees Ali Baba talkin’ on a cell phone, all suspicious and shit…right when I get oneathem badass leg cramps. I chased that fucker until I puked blah blah blah…”

    The guy who has it the worst gets the most respect.

    You drop that kid into a marriage with a selfish young woman and he’s going to get his guts ripped out. Not only is he immature in most respects (he’s 18 or 20, after all), but he’s been conditioned to subordinate his ego/desires, put others first, and embrace being miserable.

    What makes him a good Marine at work is exactly the wrong stuff to do in a relationship, especially with an equally immature woman. I’ll bet the young Sailor is exactly the same way, except with more grey paint.

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      Damn Killsquat, thats a really good point. I have a post coming up about the tactical combat casualty course training we did on some jr. HM’s today. I was a victim and I freaked out a few of the guys by screaming my head off.

      I had a bowel evisceration, open tib fx, ulnar fx, and head wound from an IED explosion. None of the guys had ever seen actual trauma before so my acting fucked them all up.

      At least 4 of them approached me during the burger burn to say how much I got in their heads with the screaming.

      And I will be featuring pics. Lol.

      Sent from my iPhone

      • dogsquat says:

        It’s always funny to see the training (civilian or military) put on by people who’ve seen some stuff, versus people who’ve read it out of a textbook. The book people tend to make the problems complex – they throw in some zebra type shit like hereditary anisocoria and beta blockers on a guy laying at the bottom of a ladder. You go through the scenario and find out it’s a prescription opiate overdose and the guy never was on the ladder, and why didn’t you give Narcan sooner blah blah blah…

        The people who’ve seen a thing or two just ramp the stress level way the fuck up – more like real life, IMO. It’s impossible to be self conscious about yelling and screaming when you’ve seen people do it for real.

        Good shit, man!

        On Screaming:

        I’ll never forget something said by a (Gunny, later a)1st Sgt I had a long time ago. He’d been in every big fight the USMC had been in, from Beirut to OIF. I used to think that was awesome, but now I think he had bad luck with the units he was assigned to. Seriously, the guy had like 6 or 7 combat action ribbons. I digress….

        He said something in passing to a group of our more junior Corpsmen that were standing around at the armory one day:

        “Hey, there, Devil-Docs. You all think you know your jobs?”

        They shuffled around, a bit nervously. This guy was a real deal BTDT, remember.

        “I’ll tell you what. When one a’ them guys is fucked up bad, they’re gonna start yellin’ and screamin’. When shit’s real fucked up, they’re gonna be yelling for their mom. No shit.”

        At this point he faced the group, scrunched up his eyes, and started with The Pointer Finger That Emphasizes Every Other Word. I’ve heard the saltier Chiefs possess this peculiar bit of anatomy, too.

        “You know you’re good when they’re real fucked up and nobody yells for their mom. They’re all yelling for you by name. That’s when you know you do a good job.”

        Kind of a weird thing to say to a bunch of guys turning in weapons, but he was kind of a weird guy. Some truth there, though.

        • dannyfrom504 says:

          4 of them approached me at the burger burn to tell me how much my screaming fucked them up.

          And dude was right about the Marines calling Doc by name when they get popped.

          I’ve had patients talk directly to me asking if they were gonna be ok. It’s odd…, the more fucked up the situation, the calmer I get.

          Sent from my iPhone

  9. The Navy Corpsman says:

    And tell the truth… being called ‘Doc’ is the greatest high you’ve ever had. Especially from grunts.

    The Navy Corpsman

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