Sicilian Girl Game

i met her at piazza collegio in catania. it was an easy exchange, i stuck my tongue out her when we made eye contact and she smiled, so i walked over and started talking to her. see…..back then (i say that b/c it could be different now) in sicily there really wasn’t a dating scene. if you’re a man and you chat up a woman it’s almost a given that you’re vying for her. i got her number and told her i wanted to go tot the antique market and she was going to show me around. we walked the market, she brought me to the fruit stand vendor, the fish market her mono shopped, the clothes market, the furniture area. before long, we were walking hand in hand and i was pulling her close to me.

2 months later, she’s coming over after her classes and then staying with me after the semester ended. i LOVED having her around. she was the first woman i’d dated that i’d call “exotic” she was 5′, maybe 100 lbs, dark brown hair, olive skin, and curvy. her body was sublime…….seriously. she had ZERO sexual hang-ups, for the first time in my life…..a woman was fucking me like she was trying to keep me. it was as if she was making sure i didn’t seek sex from anywhere but her. she seemed to worship me in bed and nothing was off limits with her. not only was she able to keep up with my libido, but she CHALLENGED my libido. and when the deed was done, she’d crawl up next to me to praise me, kiss my neck, shower me with adulation.

but it wasn’t the sex. the sex was great. but this was a woman that not only appreciated masculinity, she CELEBRATED it. there was no nagging, shaming, or complaints about my oafish side. she laughed at it, took it in stride and rationalized it, “e’ un cosa de oumini” (it’s a man thing). she cleaned and made sure the apartment was impeccable, she was my own little italian home-maker….eager to take on the chore of domestic Goddess.

what did she get out of it? well….she’d had never heard the term “thank you” for anything she’d done around her own home. she had 2 brother that she had to look after. i think she appreciated being somewhere, doing what she’d always done, and being appreciated for  it. she couldn’t cook…..i was ALWAYS in charge of the cooking, she was in charge AFTER i was down cooking she REFUSED to let me help her clean the kitchen.

i had never in my life experienced a woman who put forth so much effort into me. but what really sold me on her, was this:

https://dannyfrom504.wordpress.com/2011/09/08/954/

from that night on i was hers.

this was how i was ruined for american woman. it’s common speak on the ‘sphere about getting away from american woman, and i have to admit…..i’ve uttered the words myself. i typically avoid white, american women. from my experience- they have no idea what they want, and there’s no pleasing them. i don’t say this to be disparaging to american women, i’m just speaking as a man that has to vet them in relationships. and……..well, they usually aren’t worth committing to. i’m NOT suggesting a woman be holly home-maker, to that that’s her lot in life. i’m 100% behind a woman being independent, and working towards her goals. but at the same time, in the context of a relationship, she should be able to take care of a man and be capable of reciprocating the efforts she expects from him.

it’s been in my experience that most american women EXPECT much from a man, but return……..very little.

why did i want to marry the sicilian woman: for starters….i KNOW she thought of me before she thought of herself. but mostly, she loved me, she loved EVERYTHING about me. she embraced my less than admirable qualities. oh i know you american lasses can grasp that, but there’s more to it. she embraced domesticity. i didn’t want or need and holly housewife. but the fact that she put so much effort into the home made me want to take more care of the house. i was mindful of not cleaning up after myself because i didn’t want to make more work for her. she was folding clothes…….i was helping her. she was doing dishes…..i was drying them.

i don’t know how else to explain it. but i had finally found a woman that i really wanted to hold on to. she was always there for me, took care of me, nurtured me, nursed me, got in my ass when i acted less than manly (i learned early on NOT to complain around her…….”that’s what women do”).  and this woman had a sex-drive on par with mine. she REVELED in her femininity, and was the model for grace and class outside the house.

sorry if i’ve been speaking of antiquated qualities……but THEY WORK.

Killsquat chimed in with what sold him on his current lady-love-

I decided my GF was marriage material when I was dealing with a broken water pipe at my place of residence. I called her to cancel a date, and explained why. Unbidden by me, she showed up 20 minutes later with a wet/dry shop vac and helped me clean up. I was sloshing ankle deep in my newly re-done bathroom, cussing fit to peel paint, and then….there she was – with power tools, no less!

I (and many, many guys I know) have reluctantly been forced to live by the ancient wisdom that “The only people in your life who truly have your best interests at heart are your mother and your Drill Instructor.” At that moment, she proved the exception to the rule.

Most women would say something like,”Oh, that sucks, I really wanted to hang out. Call me when you’re done.” My ol’ lady PROVED that she’s got my back that day – that she will be someone I can lean on a little bit if I need to. I look out for all the people close to me, but for her, I’ll slay dragons.

i don’t regret not marrying her. as the post yesterday show’s……i wasn’t ready. but…….she set the bar high and has set the standard of what i’m looking for in a life partner. i know what you might be thinking, and i’ll address that tomorrow.


8 Comments on “Sicilian Girl Game”

  1. pioneervalleywoman says:

    Hi,

    I migrated here from Susan’s blog. Interesting ideas you have here, the story you are chatting about here is similar to what I’ve heard the husband mention, that I have spoiled him rotten. If god forbid, something were to happen, he couldn’t ever imaging dating a white American woman again (I’m Afro-Caribbean American, he’s Quebecois) I think that with respect to “ethnic women,” that is just the way we are raised. My mom would be ashamed if I didn’t do the womanly and feminine things, ie., cooking and keeping a nice house. It would be as though she didn’t raise me right! And the husband likes doing the guy things (maintenance, driving, etc., etc.,) as a complement to the feminine side I got going over here!

    By the way, I loved the stories about your grandfather and going back home to New Orleans; it has such a fun-loving Southern good ole boy energy to it, similar to a recent PBS broadcast I saw of Winton Marsalis and Harry Connick Jr.

    Take care,

    PVW

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      i’m not trying to be an asshole, i’m just expressing what i’ve witnessed and experienced. and the funny thing is, the ethnic (black, spanish, asian) female friends i have all agree with me when i tell them why i avoid white american women.

  2. dogsquat says:

    I’m starting to wonder if part of the issue isn’t American vs. Other but Rural vs. Urban.

    Me and my ol’ lady might as well get matching Wonderbread tattoos we’re so Caucasian. But I grew up in big cities all my life, and where we are now is the first place she’s lived that has skyscrapers. She can’t believe what some of the women she works with put their men through.

    It seems most folks from less affluent countries/cultures exhibit more of what I think of as a Small Town Mentality.

    I wonder what people think of that half-baked hypothesis.

    • Blumel says:

      That’s more or less what I’ve observed. I grew up and spent most of my life in a small town, but have spent the last 5 years living in San Francisco. It’s like day and night (in that order). The only people here I get along with are other Americans from small towns (the ones who haven’t swallowed the super-liberal cool-aid) or immigrants. The former rarely stick around, though.

      I recently attended a wedding in Omaha and it was like the best of both worlds – a decent sized city without the big city attitude. I was really surprised. I was only there for a weekend, but I found myself not wanting to go back to SF.

  3. Anonymous says:

    This goes against all the advice books, that say to withhold giving to a man – he might be a player, might be a narcissist, might be selfish, might be using you for sex, etc. All that advice goes against my feminine nature, for sure. The other day I noticed a guy I am dating looked uncomfortable while visiting, so I gave him a pillow. Afterwards I thought, was that too mothering? Did that make him feel like he was “winning” me?
    Ugh! What is the balance? I know I might sound stupid, but it seems so confusing!

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      whether male of female, i fall back on the “actions over words” meme. if your efforts aren’t appreciated…..address it (or don’t) and take notice.

      self-respect and the ability to care or express affection isn’t gender specfic. it’s just that each gender has thier own way of expressing it.
      giving your guy a pillow isn’t
      making him win you.” it’s being a caring gf.

  4. MissMarie says:

    I concur on the rural thing. My mother is still ashamed that I’m not a better cook than I am (although, to be honest, I just don’t like cooking at home that much, she likes to hover over me). But it’s a given that women cook and clean and take care of the menfolk; I remember many days of my youth making up baskets of food and jugs of tea to take out to the fields. And sitting for hours in the pickup truck waiting for the wagon to be full and driving it to the elevator. Maybe people brought up in the city just don’t have enough ‘real work’ to do?

  5. […] Are Like Ice Cream“, “The Numbers Game Fallacy”Danny from 504 – “Sicilian Girl Game“, “Marriage Fear“, “Fun at the Gym”Fearless – […]


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