I guess Guys are guilty too.

i was watching my flyers do battle with the penguins last night with my buddy. i’ve mentioned this kid before (he played goalie for a prominent university) and well….it wasn’t looking good for the flyers. at the end of the first period the pens were up 3-0. we were pissed. we finished our wings, drank our beer and took a collective, “fuck this, i’m going home to scream at the television.” and left the local.

back at the house i was dvr’ing the game, and i watched in disgust. i finally started channel surfing and cancelled the recording. about 10 minutes later i noticed we had scored. what the deuce? shortly after it was 3-2 pens. i called my friend, “DUDE….3-2?” he replied, “yeah, i’m pacing…” i told him right after i cancelled the recording we scored and he fired back, “erase the recording completely. purge it from your dvr.” i told him i had already done that and he mentioned how he bet’s we come back. i told him i had stopped watching the game and he bade me to continue NOT watching that he’d text me when we scored. it was agreed upon and i went on to watching some shit on travel channel.

it’s funny how guys will rationalize game playing or viewing with ANY inane excuse. we can be so superstitious and irrational when it comes to our sports that it can be laughable.

introducing the male hamster, and it’s like the terminator: it can’t be bargained with. it can’t be reasoned with. it doesn’t feel pity, or remorse. And it absolutely will not stop, ever…..

when i brought this up to my buddy he admitted that his pregame routine was pretty ridiculous and his teammates ALL had some odd ritual for before or during a game. one guy wore the same unwashed pair or socks for every game. the one time they got washed he had a bad playing streak for about a month. he refused to wash them ever again. and bro code dictates you DO NOT question or ridicule another guys habit. EVER. oh i can already can hear some of you….”what’s your odd sports custom Danny?” well i’m glad you asked. as i’m sure you all know i’m a Saint’s fan (anyone mentioning the bounty will be fucking banned. just fyi.) well, i refuse to wear a saints jersey of an active player on the roster. last 3 times i had a jersey, the following season….that player was traded or went to shit. so to alleviate that, i now only wear an Archie Manning throwback jersey. and there’s NOTHING anyone can do to get me to wear the jersey of a player i’m a fan of.

so i guess guys are guilty of the hamster as well. oh…btw…….

flyers beat the pens- 4-3 in OT.

so guys….what are some of the crazy hamster shit you’ve done in regards to your team? and ladies…time to throw hubster/bf under the bus- what has he done that made you just shake your head and laugh while watching/playing sports?


11 Comments on “I guess Guys are guilty too.”

  1. just visiting says:

    Few years ago, a lot of my male friends stopped shaving during the play offs.

  2. susanawalsh says:

    I love it when guys admit they spin the hamster wheel too…

  3. The Navy Corpsman says:

    rationalize
    1803, “to explain, to make reasonable,” from rational + -ize. In the psychological sense of “to give an explanation that conceals true motives” it dates from 1922.

    rational
    late 14c., “pertaining to reason;” mid-15c., “endowed with reason,” from L. rationalis “of or belonging to reason, reasonable,” from ratio (gen. rationis) “reckoning, calculation, reason”

    Assuming humans are, by their very being, rational (Descartes et al) rational and rationalizing follow, by default, to humanity.

    Ask a combat vet about good luck charms. If he is honest, he’ll admit everyone has one. Maybe it’s just a way of dealing with irrational life.

    The Navy Corpsman

    • dogsquat says:

      Hey, Doc –

      I don’t want to rain on your parade, what with you being a man of science and medicine and all, and me just being a broke-dick old grunt…but…

      I don’t have a “good luck charm”.

      Some people do, and that’s fine for them. See, Doc – What I have is a visual and physical manifestation of an Agreement I have with The Universe. I understand that The Universe gets busy sometimes, and might squash me like a bug – on accident, of course – perhaps in a moment of innatention. Bearing this in mind, I’ve obtained a portable, tactile talisman imbued somehow with the ability to force The Universe to abide by our mutual Agreement no matter how….Interesting…things get.

      I know it sounds complicated, and maybe it is on a philosophic level. It’s quite easy in practice, though – I just reach into my pocket and rub with my thumb, and The Universe takes care of me. No fuss, no muss.

      As you can plainly see, “luck” has nothing to do with it.

      Semper Fi,

      Dogsquat, Sgt USMC 0311(ret)

  4. Danny,
    You are starting to read my mind and vice versa!
    JV just alerted me to the fact that you had a post up about the male hamster…she had just been to mine where I had just posted something similar, after visiting you!
    Spooky 😀

    “introducing the male hamster, and it’s like the terminator: it can’t be bargained with. it can’t be reasoned with. it doesn’t feel pity, or remorse. And it absolutely will not stop, ever…..”

    Hmmm, this is remarkably like the female one…
    Could my little theory that these two small animals are in fact related, be correct???

  5. AndyW says:

    When I used to race dirt track I had the same routine. Same jeans and t shirt every week and on the way to the track I stopped and got a bag of funyuns and a grape gatorade for my prerace meal. The one night I didn’t do this and I didn’t race. I ended up 3rd in points that season, if I would have even just entered the race. (And came in last) I would have had enough points to win the championchip. Coincidence? I think not.

  6. The Navy Corpsman says:

    Sgt Dogsquat,

    Thumb is just a lucky rabbit’s foot that’s still attached to a grunt. I knew a Lcpl who used to grab his dick, even in the middle of shit. We called him Pocketpool Plant, cause Robert Plant always fondled his crotch in concert. Philosophy isn’t my strong suit, but all I know is, grunts hump gear, POGs slump in fear, cover your squad, and never, EVER sleep next to the guy with an M79.

    The Navy Corpsman


Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s