Sultan GamePosted: April 25, 2012
I’ve heard rumblings on keeping a soft harem. Well, what got me really into the blogs was when I found Rivelino’s site. I lurked for close to a month until he mentioned his desire for a harem. THIS was when I spoke up. Reason being – I ran a 5 woman soft harem at the time. I ended up telling Riv that he wasn’t quite ready for a harem, because…well, there are rules and certain things one must understand before taking on a harem. What does running a harem entail? Well, I’m here to tell you…
1- First and foremost, you must treat a harem like Fight Club – you NEVER talk about it to the women in the harem. This is the first and most important thing to remember. Any mention of other women needs to be treated with “agree and amplify.” I’ll respond to having other women with, “I totally have other girls. Matter of fact, after we’re done here, I won’t be able to pencil you in for at least 5 more years. Sorry.” Then I’ll roll my eyes. That’s usually enough to have her move onto another subject.
2- You MUST be a tad unavailable. You DO NOT want her swerving into relationship-land. I’m not telling you to lie, but I am telling you that your time must be limited. NEVER entertain questions that pry into what you do with your free time when not with her. Avoid that altogether. Reframe to something important to her, personal to her. Move the focus from YOU to HER. You DO NOT want her treading into “where is this going” territory. If she pushes into “where is this going” you MUST avoid discussion and if she persists, you must be honest and admit to not seeking a relationship. That MUST be the frame you hold. NEVER lie and say you aren’t sure where it’s going, always be upfront and admit to not being interested in a relationship.
3- Respect and care for her. She is human after all, dammit. You attract does better with honey than vinegar. You must ALWAYS be willing to let her walk if she no longer agrees to sleeping with you or finds a relationship. Be supportive of a new relationship – expect it. The harem must be treated as a temporary position *giggity* rather than a full time deal. If she finds a relationship SHE WILL try to give you head of the line privileges to commit, but will go to the other man if she’s seeking a relationship and he’s offering his commitment. Support her in her new relationship and wish nothing but happiness for her. IF the relationship doesn’t pan out, you can expect her to come back seeking solace in your arms. THIS is why you must be caring, kind, and understanding. However, DO NOT be her therapist. This will lead her to relationship zone. If she attempts to bring you into her personal drama, listen, be attentive, but then admit to not really being qualified to offer advice on something as complex as what she’s dealing with.
4- It’s not JUST sex. I seriously recommend spending SOME time together, just not too much. I’d have lunch with the girls, I’d go to their houses and just kick back for a while. There would be playtime, but spending a SMALL amount just hanging back will keep her interested and wanting to “f” to the “uck”. Again……I don’t make it JUST about sex, but there needs to be a delicate balance to keep her interested in keeping you around. Her hamster will justify the “relationship” by you’re not just making it about sex. AND since you’ve made it clear you aren’t interested in a relationship……she can’t accuse you of dodging the subject/her. Your best bet is to play nice. DO NOT give her ammo to call you out. Seriously, honesty here is truly the best policy. Be prepared for and expect her to walk at any given moment. If she decides she wants to bag it, let her. Do not argue, and wish her all the happiness in the world. And MEAN IT. Simply enjoy the time she decides to keep you around.
The women I have in the harem are not relationship material. I adore them, I seriously do. But there is no LTR possibility. I respect the fact that they might WANT a relationship, but I’m not that guy. So when they DO find “that guy,” I’m 100% supportive of them. I’ve never really been a fan of gorilla game, which is how some guys run a harem – not me. I treat it as an issue that is dependent on mutual respect.
If you play nice, and play fair……she’ll probably keep playing with you. And for the record, i never referred to them as “the harem”, i called them “the stable”.