The INTJ Survival List

Since there are so many of us on the Sphere, I thought I’d share this after i stumbled upon it. Yer welcome Ladies

How to handle an INTJ

Here’s a concise guide, based on decades of personal observation (IOW, mostly staring into my own head), on how to survive first contact with an INTJ. Not all INTJs will fully conform to (or even agree with) all these points… there’s a wide spectrum of variation out there. For instance, there is a rumor going round that some INTJs are less sarcastic than others.

So don’t take this list too seriously (INTJs, after all, tend to take things seriously). On the other hand, ignore it at your own peril (not a bad disclaimer, he, he).

  1. Expect debate. INTJs enjoy tearing things apart to understand them and to prove (or disprove) their worthiness.
  2. They will gladly argue a point they don’t actually support, just for the sake of argument or to probe things. This bears repeating: an INTJ can easily and persuasively assume a point of view which is wholly contrary to his actual conviction. If in doubt, ask. yup
  3. INTJs do have a strong sense of humor, often dry and quick, but also a bit warped. It can easily take a morbid streak. *averts eyes*
  4. Expect blunt, honest, sometimes even hurtful answers: if you don’t want to hear the truth, you wouldn’t ask, would you? true
  5. INTJs like to do lists, enumerations, pattern sorting and putting things into an ordered state (ordered for them, not necessarily for the rest of the world).
  6. Statements you can’t back up with either solid facts or solid reasoning will at best be ignored and at worst poked fun at in ways not many people would describe as nice. i have 4 black belts in this
  7. Try to be both concise and precise. Using 81 woolly words where 18 sharp ones would suffice will not endear you to them.
  8. They do love wordplay though: if you can re-package your 81 woolly words in a witty, unexpected, esoteric fashion, they’ll appreciate that.
  9. Don’t expect an INTJ to respect anything you (or some other authorities) say just because you (or some other authorities) say it. INTJs bow to one authority only: rationality. dear God yes
  10. For an INTJ truth is more important than simply being right, so they will readily admit errors or mistakes (once they have been convinced something they said or did was indeed wrong — to convince them may not be easy though). INTJs unfortunately expect others to work likewise (and react bewildered if they don’t). guilty
  11. Stick to a statement after being proven wrong by facts or reasoning and an INTJ will treat you as an irrational idiot and everything you say as probable nonsense. or call you a democrat
  12. Try not to be repetitive. It bores them to death. GOD is this me.
  13. Clumsy attempts at political correctness and similar aberrations will greatly amuse them. lol
  14. Don’t be surprised at sarcasm, hyperbole and flippancy. In fact, a non-sarcastic INTJ must be severely ill. MOI?
  15. Expect punctuality and exactness. They try hard to be on time and they hate unpunctual-ness, especially of the casual sort: the words obsessive-compulsive come to mind. very true
  16. They tend to be quite forgetful in everyday life, especially for trivial things like car keys, dropped tools or anniversaries. “danny, we talked about this yesterday.”
  17. You can’t trust that an INTJ takes something, anything for granted. They do take some things for granted, but you’ll never know what and what not. The more extreme ones are actually willing to put everything to the test (and I mean everything).
  18. Remember that INTJs believe in workable solutions. They are open-minded to all and every possibility, but they will quickly discard any concept they deem unfeasible.
  19. Their way of showing that something you say (an idea, a suggestion) has potential or merit is by trying to pull it apart (which shocks those poor souls who instead expected awe or admiration). The ultimate INTJ insult to an idea or suggestion is to ignore it altogether, because that means it’s not even interesting enough to deconstruct. very true
  20. INTJs can and will make themselves and everything else (and again, I mean everything) the butt of their jokes, witticisms and deeply nonsensical remarks. guilty
  21. Do not expect INTJs to care very much about how you view them. They already know that many people see them as arrogant bastards with a weird sense of humor and they long since got used to it. basically
  22. INTJs, in the privacy of their minds, frequently think the unthinkable and expect the unexpected. So don’t be taken aback if they express little or no surprise if something “impossible” happens. “who said i’m incapable of learning ninjitsu?”

19 Comments on “The INTJ Survival List”

  1. just visiting says:

    Thanks a lot Danny. I feel so….exposed. Lol.

    Don’t expect an INTJ to respect anything you (or some other authorities) say just because you (or some other authorities) say it. INTJs bow to one authority only: rationality.

    So true.

  2. dannyfrom504 says:

    “Thanks a lot Danny. I feel so….exposed. Lol.”

    well then, let’s just loosen this top of yours. lol. how GREAT is this list.

  3. Daniel de León says:

    INTJs do have a strong sense of humor, often dry and quick, but also a bit warped. It can easily take a morbid streak.

    This all day long. I’m and ESTJ and I thought I had a warped sense of humor. That is, until I met my cousin(INTJ). Still love the sumbitch though.

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      You know that thing that most people have that tells them, “yeah, don’t say that dude.”

      I don’t have that. Lol.

      • Daniel de León says:

        It’s funny cuz we’re both practicing Christians, but all too often he’ll say something and I’ll go “dude shut the fuck up the guy upstairs might hear you”.lol

        • dannyfrom504 says:

          My hamster nuking ability is a direct result from my INTJ. I have a dark gift for knowing a persons Achilles heel. I think most INTJ’s can do it.

          Sent from my iPhone

  4. Caelaeno says:

    Eh, there are only a couple of items on this list that I would put in the “squarely intj” catagory, and I have a number of good friends that are textbook intjs. I would say that these are characteristic of the nt set.

  5. Danny,

    Thanks for this!
    I am totally surrounded by these types…is it me or am I doing something to attract these people, including sharing genetic material with some of them…LOL.
    Well, all I can say is, wish I’d had your list at birth 😀

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      i cannot date another introvert. i NEED an extroverted woman. their sunniness and warm nature puts me at ease. i’m pretty laid back and relaxed, but i can be VERY intense and focused. extroverted women keep me from exploding.

      well, at least from exploding outside the bedroom.

      • Ah, that’s unusual for an INTJ, I believe. Bill (who is a self-confessed INTJ) mentioned that you guys seek other INTJs in general.
        So you are the exception here…
        Mais tant mieux!
        I see that the ‘intense’ thing could get too much if both partners are too similar…

      • dannyfrom504 says:

        “Bill (who is a self-confessed INTJ) mentioned that you guys seek other INTJs in general.”

        maybe to chill with. but i’d NEVER be able to date another INTJ. i’ve always believed the best relationships are those which the persons involved are very different. like i said, i MUST have an extrovert as a gf.

        the women i’ve gotten along best with had qualities in spades that i lacked. i LIKED the fact that they had qualities that i didn’t, and we got along quite well.

  6. Bb says:

    I love INTJs…so much I married one…

  7. If INTJs enjoy truth, then you are an exception. The original source for this is http://thomaslauer.com/start/How_to_handle_an_INTJ Properly source your material, otherwise you come across as plagiarist. How’s that for truthful and blunt?

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      “If INTJs enjoy truth, then you are an exception”

      pretty presumptious of someone who’s never met me. and if you truly are hoping “to wear a habit”, thats a critical character flaw that needs to be addressed before taking up such an obligation. it’s a silly blog, not my thesis for a PhD.

      thank you for listing the webite i quoted. have fun back at your message board, and give my thanks to whoever linked my site


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