Dante is a good friend of Patrice. I thought I’d post this as a follow up to the Patrice post. This is a copied post from Cringe Humor.com.
I was on stage recently and I asked a question to a women in the audience. Is it true that a woman knows that she’s going to sleep with a guy when she first meets him? I also asked aproximately how long does it take for a lady to know this.
Now before I give the answer they gave me, I’d like to give you the background on this cautionary tale. Let me first say that I was at Times square Comedy Club on 42nd and 8th. There is a reason why I mention this. If you know where the club resides, you know there is a large tourist population in the area. It’s not unlikely to have a German couple, a Dutch family, a group of girls from Australia, 3 guy’s from Denmark, another couple from Bavaria, 6 Puerto Ricans from the Bronx, an older couple from Brooklyn, 2 Dominican couples from Washington Heights, and a lesbian couple from Queens – true story!
I mention that because I really want you to understand that the opinions expressed are not only real, but they are international. Even though the women in the room were culturally thousands of miles away, they all were of the same accord.
Now I truly understand that there are exceptions to every rule, as I am a large tattooed black man who has never been to jail. I never said I didn’t do things that maybe should have landed me there, but nonetheless I never got caught…but I digress.
I get it, all woman are not the same – a point that I am presently accepting but battle with daily…Anyway, the answer I received from the white woman in the interracial African and Caucasian couple (from Ohio) said this; “A woman knows soon after you open your mouth whether she wants to sleep with you but then he has to earn it!” Wow! How amazing that statement was coming out of an older woman in her late forties who is clearly unattractive, if not borderline ugly. The thing that really startled me was the arrogant tone she spoke, as if she clearly didn’t own a mirror or a calendar. It dawned on me in that moment that the level of delusion on that topic existed among women across the globe was staggering. This problem is a bigger than terrorism, although very similar. I say across the globe, because as she spoke the women in the room erupted in a tsunami of agreement while each adding their own 2 cents. All they while they were explaining what a woman does after she decides if you’re worthy of her vaginal anointment. Each addition was slightly different from Rotterdam to Rhode Island. Yet they all were in accordance with the fact that we as men were privileged to have sex with them. Really? Privileged!?
Privileged to pay our car note and our insurance so we have something to pick you up in. Privileged to spend the date being stressed but alert, ready to make conversation, all while being witty and flexible. Carrying out the evening’s itinerary with great thought that we planned in hopes of keeping you interested. Privileged to put gas in my vehicle at $4 a gallon and use it up at the whim of your desire of course culminating in driving and dropping you off at whole out of MY way. Privileged to pay for dinner drinks and desert at a place way overpriced. Despite that, she may ungratefully dislike the place because a struggling student waiting tables (and living in a roach filled room) is trying to do better in life and might have brought the spring rolls out on time. I go through all of this hoping I had done everything right for my “audition.” Hopefully I’ll get the call back from her.
When I’m done contemplating my losses, I tally them in my head. What did it cost to me? I came up with a rough figure consisting of insurance, gas, time, aggravation, wit and chicken wings. I came up with $13,632. Boy, do I feel privileged.
As I explained to the hoard of arrogant vaginas how I came up with the figure, I was advised by the Dominican lesbians: “then why don’t just get a hooker?” she said in a rebuttal. I thought to myself that’s the first thing they said that made sense. I get it.
It’s just not that simple. We as men want companionship and love, just not at the cost of losing ourselves with an arrogancy that feels like ungratefulness. We don’t mind the $13,632 if we are appreciated. Then we can move the relationship forward so we can get engaged at the cost 3 months salary for the ring. The payoff is spending the rest of my life taking care of you and not sleeping with other women.
As you all may know, Jacksonville had a bit of bad weather recently. Look, I’m a born and raised Louisiana boy….i’ve been bugging in for hurricane’s for as long as I can remember. It seems no matter where you live in the US there’s some inclement weather concerns to deal with. With that said, know this- I would NEVER live anywhere but the South. Fuck California and it’s earthquakes (“but you can’t beat the weather” Die in a fire.), fuck the north and it’s snow, fuck “OH MY GOD A TORNADO” central portion of the US. Last Christmas I spent in NO it was 74 degrees Christmas day.
However, there are some concerns about living in Southern Louisiana: the DREADED heat during the summer, and hurricanes. Give me a hurricane any day. The day before it hits you know if you should ride it out or head out. I love riding out a hurricane. Well this trickle of a storm brought a lot of wind and some steady rain. I never lost power, and my direct tv didn’t crap out. I went to bed at 7am.
But I was ready for the worst. I actually got texts and emails from people asking if what they had was adequate if they lost power. Unreal. If you’re asking my dumb ass 3 hours before a tropical storm is going to hit if you’re properly supplied. You fail. I have TONS of candles and toilet paper, a solar powered heated camp shower, field toilet for making boo-boo, medication, surgical kit, 40 gallons of water, wet naps, 10 sterno’s, and enough canned food and MRE’s to eat for over a month. All I need now is a generator. Oh Brody food is well stocked as well.
Now if I had a family that might make somewhat of a difference in my decision to vacate. Matter of fact, I KNOW it would. Back when I was stationed in NO, I had a VERY cute Honduran neighbor named Carmen. She was about 6 years younger than me and had a son. One tropical storm pounded the city and her son was with the dad, so Carmen asked to wait out the storm with me. She knew I was set up well and lived on the third floor. We watched tv by candle light and listened to the rain. When I finally lost power we made blanket caves while pretty tipsy. I’m sure you can guess what else happened.
Something about inclement weather really brings out your inner freak flag. I remember her looking at me lustily as we play-fought. Maybe it was being in my “cave” during a storm that roused her “inner cave-woman”. Can’t be sure but I can say she wasn’t a gf, and we never really dated. But we’d messed around on a few weekends when she didn’t have her son. Tbh, I didn’t really feel the urge to try and date her. My only actual gf during that time was Beth. I was around 30-31.
This brings up an interesting topic Privateman and I were discussing. I’ve notice that as I get older, I’m less and less commitment minded. Where as….when I was in my 20’s I was VERY commitment minded. It seems to me that it’s the opposite for women. They aren’t as commitment minded when they’re young as they are when the reach their later years.
Oh, I know….if you’re a woman reading this site you’re probably recalling the boyfriends you had in your 20’s. But what I mean is that it seems women have a steady stream of boyfriends then as “the wall” approaches they get more “married minded”. As I get older I’m feeling less and less inclined to “settle down”. I have a very rich life, a good job, hobbies that I’m passionate about. I honestly have it all. I feel NOTHING is missing from my life. I feel no sort of regret for not having a kid, i have no “paternal instinct”. Hell, I’m the only childless, never married man on my street in a fairly affluent suburban neighborhood. And well, if you want to know a secret…all the married guys ALWAYS tell me how lucky I am.
While the prospect of a gf seems cool, I mean- I DO enjoy a woman’s company. I’ve always enjoyed being alone. Even when I had a serious gf, there were MANY times, I wish she’d go away. Lol. Since I’ve never been married I can’t say if that’s normal during marriage or not so I can only speculate. But I do know this- I’m just fine on my own. If she finds me….i’ll keep you posted. Until then, I might be alone, but I’m far from lonely.
The reason the gentleman in the previous post is having a hard time closing 8-10 is that he’s placed too much value in them. Thus….when he attempts to chat them up, he gets nervous because he’s not learned OI with this sub-set. I told him I wanted him to talk with 8-10 for 2 weeks WITHOUT seeking a number or date. Just make a passing comment, or BETTER STILL….watch a gut fuck up with an 8-10, then comment how some guys just don’t get it and all he sees is a pretty face- then……walk away. i can almost GAURANTEE the girl will attempt to keep the conversation going.
Still waiting to see if i’ll hear back from him. I’ll keep you posted if I do.
Today, I wanted to say a prayer to all my friends (past and present) who aren’t home right now, but sitting on foreign soil far, far away from everything they love and hold dear. Watch your 6, and get your ass home.
This HM knows what you’re going through, and acknowledges your sacrifices. I know about the troubled sleep, the shitty meals in a DFAC served by fucking savages that don’t like you, but are paid 50 cents a day and live in squalor. I know about the fucking endless boredom, and the emptiness of TRYING to find solace in camaraderie. The soul draining routines that you hate but become your daily existence.
I know. Been there.
God bless, and stay up.
[edit- I wanted to add this last night but I can’t upload videos at work.]
This is one the funniest things I’ve EVERY heard. DogSquat is gonna piss himself. All my Marine and FMF buddies piss themselves when they hear this. Brokaw was a National News Anchor had had a speech impediment. CLASSIC. We do this shit ALL THE TIME in the Military. I use movie quotes from my faces at the appropriate time A LOT. Enjoy.
Had an interesting email from a “Young college Junior”. He’s good looking and he’s ingested the red-pill and applying it’s philosophy. But he admits to having a problem: closing 8’s and above. We had an exchange via email and I was able to help the fellow out. Now, I want to ask the class-
If a good looking guy is having NO PROBLEM closing 7’s and below. Why would he have problems with 8’s and above? Well, I’ll tell you tomorrow. Let us return to the “Matrix” analogy.
There is no spoon.
It’s THAT simple. Who can explain what I mean? And who knows what this young man’s problem is with closing 8-10’s?
Personally, I’ve said on several occassions that I’d prefer a solid 7 for a relationship. OH SURE, the 9 at Starbuck’s probably makes a GREAT seat cover. But what if that’s all she’s got going for her? The problem with most women who fall into the 8 and above rating- RARELY do they have great personalities. They don’t have to. There’s no shortage of men worshiping at the alter of pretty. She doesn’t really HAVE to be interesting. These women end up on the carousel and has a string of “player” boyfriends (players can land an 8-10 EASILY) or keeps dumping “nice guys” that supplicate to them.
And they HATE it. They grow sick of men, “I swear to God, I’m going to go lesbian. I’m SICK of guys.” Can’t say I blame them. The girl I wrote about in the “BJ” post is one of these women. She’s an 8. EASILY.
Personally, my primary job with a new gf is “training her” her to be MY GF. She has to “unlearn” what the last bf taught her, and what I’ve noticed is this- most guys are fucking idiots.
Sometimes, there’s no saving her. I could NEVER be a good Captain for her, because she’s a shitty first Officer. And I can figure it out in less than 3 months. Often, I can tell by the 2-3rd date (if there IS one). I watched 2 episodes of HBO’s show, “Girls” and was fucking both blown away and disgusted. These girls are EXACTLY what’s wrong with the SMP. Zero self-respect, and complete entitlement. And sorry, but the main character and writer of the show is a 4. Seriously. She’s naked often and I’d honestly rather fuck a cup of hot coals. Coincidentally the cup would be safer because her character has HPV!!!!!! And….she has NO CLUE who gave it to her. These girls are jam packed with issues that I have NO INTENTION of helping out with.