Into the Locker Room: The Etiquette of Oral Treats from a Woman

The other night, I had a friend give me……..well, you know. She had just broken up with a bf and we’d always flirted. So when it’s all over she said, “I used to hate giving the bf head”, then went into some of the faux pas he’d make. And I’m talking WOW….total newbie. I asked her if she enjoyed taking care of me and she said it was fantastic. I was talking with a young guy and he was telling me how he was lucky enough to have a girl give him oral treats. Sorry, I don’t use BJ unless I’m trying to be crass. OT’s sounds much more playfully and fun. Trust me guys, use it and she’ll know EXACTLY what you’re talking about.  After a few minutes I could see this man had NO CLUE (he was 20 or 21) about oral treats etiquette.  Trust me, I’ve sucked enough di….wait- what.

That old gag.

Yes, I know every lady has her own particular pet peeves and preferences/techniques so feel free to chime in after you read…..IF any of you lasses choose to read.

Let’s begin.

 

1-      Sit back and relax for God’s sake. This is one of the few times you get a pass to lean back, relax, and enjoy the ride.  She’s got this, don’t worry.

2-      Her hair is your responsibility. Be a team player and keep the hair away from her face.  She’ll be thanking you for it….seriously.

3-      DO NOT push her head. Very rude. However….

4-      Verbal cues are usually welcome.  

5-      If there’s a certain way you prefer the deed- after she’s initially given you the goodies and you can assess her technique; THEN you can tell her how you like it.

6-      Please let her know you’re enjoying it. Don’t sit back like a stone as she pleasures you. Give the lady some encouragement.

7-      Last but not least- PLEASE give an indication of when you’re about to pop. Until you get her take on whether she’s down with swallowing or not……..LET HER KNOW. She’ll make the decision and finish you off however she’s most comfortable. If you brick with no warning before hand- BAD FORM. You Sir, are a true Rookie. I know a girl that punched a guy for blasting without telling her he was ready. 

 

I will follow this up with part 2- “Learning a woman’s body, the first time you have sex with her.”

Stay up.


41 Comments on “Into the Locker Room: The Etiquette of Oral Treats from a Woman”

  1. deti says:

    danny, you forgot “keep yourself clean down there. If you smell, shower and soap it down there.”

    And – it’s a myth that women don’t like giving head. A woman who’s into sex with her man and secure in herself will like it.

    And she likes it because you like it.

    She likes it because she has power over your nether regions at that moment.

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      I have friend who prefers oral to penetration, for her, it’s all about control.

      And yes, grooming is very key. See that happens when I write posts at 4am. Lol.

  2. OffTheCuff says:

    Giving her warning is important. I’ve nailed my own eye and it really hurts.

    I prefer to tap her head with a few fingers before blastoff.

  3. Twenty says:

    3- DO NOT push her head. Very rude. However….

    Depends on the woman. Some enjoy having their heads handled forcefully. You’ve already got hold of her hair after all …

  4. JohnnyFive says:

    Not swallowing is the first, second, and third strike. We’re not compatible sexually if she won’t swallow. If she doesn’t want to swallow, she can tell me that. It’s not my problem otherwise. I will then let her know that it will just be a fluff to get me ready to fuck her silly for not swallowing while I think of the next most appropriate place to cum. My work is done there. As a matter of preferemce, I telegraph my pending orgasm. What kind of orgasms are you having that women don’t know they’re happening?

  5. MissMarie says:

    I’m not avoiding, just haven’t gotten to it yet 😛

    I happen to agree, so have very little to add. Except that if you’re vocal when you’re liking it the whole process is very likely to repeat more often than if you ‘dead fish’ it.

    Warning is nice because if you’re not ready for it there can be a breathing/swallowing issue and spluttering up what you meant to swallow does NOT make a good impression. Very un-ladylike. Not that I’d know

    And agree plus 100 on the head-shoving thing, HATE that. Love my hair held/squeezed though.

    Plus, there’s no other trip like being told you just gave someone the best, er, oral treat they’ve ever had…

  6. ASF says:

    Do you think it’s possible to teach how to give a good “oral treat”? Sometimes I think you either have it or you don’t.

  7. MissMarie says:

    Sure, you can learn different technique, whatever and that’ll help you know what parts are most likely to respond to different stimuli, but you can’t really approach an oral treat like some elaborate puzzle that you just need to solve. As long as you aren’t using teeth (except for the tiny percent of guys that like that, and they’ll tell you) enthusiasm really seems to be key, after basic BJ101. If you’re bitching about ‘having to do it’ and your guys knows you don’t like doing it he’s not going to enjoy it as much. Even if you DON’T really enjoy it, helps to pretend you do. Actually, that’s how I learned to like it. If you approach it as being happy to do this thing for your man that feels great and he can’t do himself it changes the whole experience. Then you start getting cocky about it *giggity* (I learned that one from danny!)

    My personal favorite is to come over when I know the guy is likely to be sitting on the couch watching tv and just walk in, don’t say a word, undo his fly and go at it. Ya gotta keep life fun, ya know?

    • ASF says:

      The problem I’m having is that she can’t/won’t seem to do it for longer than about 3 minutes. She claims her mouth/jaw hurts. Any tips for that?

      • Stingray says:

        That really can be a problem. Have her switch between a handjob and oral treats to give her jaw a rest. Also, using her hand and her mouth at the same time to sort of tag team also gives a nice rest.

      • dannyfrom504 says:

        personally, the best i ever had , she used her hand and mouth at the same time.

        a lot of saliva too. his crotch should look like Katrina hit it.

    • aneroidocean says:

      Please ladies, learn from MissMarie. There is NOTHING I like better than a surprise oral treat.

      Definitely don’t be rough or forceful with her head until you’ve established that she’s okay with it/enjoys it, but a little gentle guidance as far as position seems in line if verbal cues just aren’t getting it done.

      Every guy will like it differently, but since there is a submission aspect of it for most people, pausing for a moment or two while continuing to use your hand and letting him know how much you want him/enjoy it/are getting turned on by turning him on, is a great thing. I personally also like to have the girl look up at me and smile before getting right back to it.

      For the guys (since this is the reason for the post), keep your shit maintained. I recommend at least trimming with a #1 or #2 guard on a set of clippers, or buying one of those manscaping sets. Less hair makes your junk look bigger too for those of you on the smaller side.

      The biggest tip I have though is to get some baby powder and talc those balls! It will keep you silky smooth and if it’s hot out you won’t get the dreaded balls sticking to your leg issue happening. You’ll stay way fresher longer and your woman will appreciate it. Don’t worry, your balls only look like a founding father’s wig until you’ve been wearing your underwear for 15 minutes so you don’t have to worry about your girl pulling down your manties and wondering why it looks like you’ve been teabagging a mountain of cocaine.

      Also, reciprocate. Don’t you think she’d like a little lick/suck/nibble herself? If you do it right, she’ll never want to leave your bedroom!

      • Miss D says:

        Totally agree…im surprised at the number of men that don’t manscape down there…who wants a mouthful of pubic hair…I’m not talking fully bald, but guys, stay nicely trimmed please!

  8. MissMarie says:

    Hmmm. Either it’s an excuse or she’s doing it wrong. Where does she place herself physically? I usually like from the side…

    • ASF says:

      Well my guess is she’s doing it wrong. Normally let’s say I’m sitting on the bed and she’s kneeling between my legs. Maybe she’s clenching her jaw or something? I don’t really know what advice to give her b/c I don’t know how to suck a dick, like danny does. What? Did someone say something?

      • Miss D says:

        I find giving ‘oral treats’ from the side can sometimes make my jaw ache, so i lay between his legs. Try having her kneel or sit on her legs while you’re standing up. Ain’t much you can do if her jaw aches after 3 minutes though…just work through the pain! 😉

    • Stingray says:

      Really (I am truly asking, not being snotty. I hate the internet sometimes for not giving facial expressions)? My jaw gets very sore as well and I have to take breaks, hence my advice above. I wouldn’t even know what to do differently and I think my husband would kill me if I did. . . 😉

  9. MissMarie says:

    Have her try it on the bed beside you, kinda perpendicular, that’s how I normally do it. And using the hand helps, too.

    • aneroidocean says:

      Yes. Another great tip for the ladies is that the mouth feels great, but some guys can’t get off without some additional stimulation from the hand, and most any guy will get off faster and harder if you use your hand(s) in concert with the mouth.

      The feeling of the girl coming off the penis entirely with her mouth and closing up her hand at the tip before reversing direction (and hand naturally opening over the tip and down the shaft) with the mouth following is fucking incredible. It maintains stimulation very consistent with the vagina and it doesn’t tire the girls jaw out from doing all the work with her mouth.

      Win-Win

      • MissMarie says:

        I do that quite a bit, but couldn’t really describe it that accurately. You don’t have to keep taking it all in your mouth/throat the whole time, I certainly don’t. Mix it up between hand and mouth playing with the head, just hand, and taking it all in. Keeps your jaw from getting worn out and makes it more interesting.

      • ASF says:

        Thanks ladies. 🙂 I’ll give it a shot. It’s not a super big deal, but it would be nice. I had one ex who was just amazing at it.

      • dannyfrom504 says:

        and don’t forget “the boys”. when you include stimulation to them…..WIN-SAUCE!!!!!

        MM- yer a princess.

  10. MissMarie says:

    Thanks, danny. Practice makes perfect 😉

  11. Senior Beta says:

    This must be the most practical advice, together with the comments, ever dispensed on the Web. Good job HM1.

  12. MissMarie says:

    Totally agree on trimming, too – much more pleasant. But clean shaven is kinda weird, like porn star wannabe. And hygiene should be a given.

    Oh, and that deep gutteral moan you guys let out when the girl does it well is a HUGE turn on.

  13. Boy Toy says:

    Good advice, it will help newbies learn the basics.
    If you want a guide on how to escalate to get a girl to suck your dick, I have one on my website:
    http://www.boytoystory.com/blowjob-guide/
    A lot of guys have found it helpful 🙂

  14. Miss D says:

    So what are the thoughts on having your balls sucked guys? Do you like or dislike this? I try to mix it up and do this, but I have been with one guy who wanted it done a lot! Good thing he had small balls! 😉


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