How to Have Fun at a Strip Club

 The 8th will mark my 1 year of hosting a blog. I was going to post this then but, I’ll be heading to New Orleans for 2 weeks and won’t be able to post often. So……enjoy.

I figured I’d be nice a throw you guys a special post. Most guys I know try very hard and are typically unsuccessful at something that’s actually quite easy if you follow what I’m about to tell you: how to close a stripper. I’ll try to keep this concise and on point since I tend to digress often. Back when I lived in NO, I was besties with one of my neighbors who danced at Larry Flyntt’s Hustler Club on Bourbon St. Keep in mind, you usually aren’t going to close nd shouldn’t even attempt to close the first few times you go. This is going to take a bit of time, but….anything worth doing usually does take time.
First things first-
  • Become a regular– I go there 2 MAYBE 3 times a week. I only stay for 2-3 beers.
  • Become friends with the DJ– The DJ is the most powerful person in the establishment. How do you become buddy buddy with the DJ?
  • Befriends the bartender– TIP TIP TIP the bartender. Ask the BT if the DJ likes any particular drink. If they do, buy the DJ a drink (don’t do though until the DJ recognizes you when you come in) and have one of the girls deliver it for you (give her a buck for it). The girl WILL point you out. Do this ONLY ONCE. From that point on make it a point to walk over and greet the DJ when you get in. Tip the DJ occasionally as well.
  • You MUST remove your “customer” status– How do you do that?
  • DO NOT buy VIP’s or drinks for the girls– That’s step one.
  • Help the girls hustle– When a girls dancing for you (you MUST tip the occasional dancer on stage- politeness counts) pay attention to the stage and check to see if any guy’s are checking her out. When another guy ponies up to the stage, I IMMEDIATELY send her over to him. I sit by myself or I stand in the DJ booth with the DJ. The DJ keeps me informed of what’s going on with the club. She has TOLD the girls that I just come here to watch the guys and blog about it later. When I notice a guy staring down a girl, I get her attention and call her over. I pull her close and tell her about the guy staring at her. “Go get him baby.” They smile, kiss my cheek and thank me. I’ve helped more than one girl land a VIP.
  • DO NOT be clingy or needy with the girls– Remember, your job is to help her get tips and watch the action. And trust me the girls at my local skrip klub LOVE me. Seriously. The DJ knows about the blog and I wouldn’t be surprised if she stops by to verify what I’m telling you.
  • Number close– Once the girls get to know you….look for IOI’s and TRUST ME, she (the dancers) WILL give you IOI’s. Drop my “yer gonna end up pregnant” line. When she’s dancing for me I’ll ask her if she any idea what I wanna do to her. When she asks me what that is I ALWAYS say, “I’m really not all that sure, but I know it’ll be over in 7 seconds and probably end with a 9 month gestation period.” They ALWAYS laugh and tell me what a sweetie I am. I have damn near EVERY phone number of the girls on the “A” squad. Sers-lee. Just simply mention doing something AWAY from the club. Of course, if she has a dude, don’t try ask for her number; stick to the girls that are single. Most of the dancers with bf’s end up single soon enough.
  • Be excellent– Just be friendly and tip occasionally. The mistake is to try to close too early. This WILL BE an investment of some time. But the reward speaks for itself. Your confidence will go up 90000%. I shit you not. And if at all possible. Give a dancer $2 and have her tip the cutie on stage. If you can manage to bring a female friend- DO IT.
  • Help her have fun– There’s a little thing I do where if a girl is dancing (while she’s on stage) for me, I bob my head side to side like a dork. If she breaks out of “sexy mode” and giggles or starts laughing: WINSAUCE.  Sometimes when she approaches to start dancing I start hopping up and down in my chair with a goofy smile on my face. The usual reaction- “God yer cute.” Most women react to men’s purposefuly goofiness the same way men react to women’s “sexy mode”.  


Happy hunting. If you #close, I wanna hear about it.
Stay up.   

11 Comments on “How to Have Fun at a Strip Club”

  1. deti says:

    1. Bring plenty of $1 bills.
    2. No private dances.
    3. No going to the VIP room unless someone else has paid the tab for you.
    4. Do not get drunk. At most, put on a decent buzz. No more than that.

  2. OffTheCuff says:

    Do you do the duckface or white man overbite during the head bob?

    SGG & I are planning a trip once we nail down the babysitter…

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      Neither. Watch “jay and silent bob strike back.” the strip club scene shows exactly what I do. Lol.

      But “goofy smile” is an over exaggerated smile and shaking of the head. Do I really have to post a video?

      Sent from my iPhone

  3. Marellus says:

    I’ll remember.

  4. ASF says:

    Will be trying this.

  5. dogsquat says:

    This is just regular old bar advice, not necessarily applicable here, but:

    if you’re going to be drinking at a place for a few hours, tip the bartender big when you get your first drink. If your drink is $5.00, give him $25.00. For the next few hours, you’ll be the Guy Who Tipped A Bazillion Percent. You’ll usually get good service, and he might buy you a drink. Don’t tip much at all after that if you’re light on cash.

    You won’t actually spend much more money – you’re just giving him all his tips up front. The way you filthy animals guzzle your rotgut, you might save a few bucks. It’s smart to tip reasonably well on the last round if you plan on coming back, though.

  6. Since nobody actually reads this stinkin’ blog, I’ll comment with something that few people know… I was the managing editor for two adult magazines and that entailed visiting dozens of strip clubs (in a city that shall remain nameless) to interview managers, DJs, strippers, servers, and everything strip club related.

    Danny’s 100% right and considering that he’s short and ugly yet still gets da dancers, never argue with success.

    Dogsquat has an interesting tactic and it should be explored.

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