Miss Advised: Buttsex, Botox, and JuliaPosted: July 12, 2012
I realize I’ve been negligent in my keeping you informed of the train wreck “Miss Advised”. Episode 3 rundown-
Emily- Emily goes to Michigan. She goes on a date with a guy she had a crush on back in grade school. Seriously. When I learned of this little fact I realized this show HAS to be scripted. Now she’s staying with her parents and mom has the audacity to ask her when she plans on settling down. But in an earlier episode we learn that MOM was the one the told her to make a career the priority of her life. WTF??? The date with Mr. Vanilla is a yawn fest until the conversation moves to her career as a “sex therapy host” and he mention being interested in “sex in the butt.” I almost fell over laughing. But she’s a goer…so you know she’ll let her grade school crush blast her kiester. She then recommends he come to SF for a weekend. Sex in the butt being pretty “who HASN’T tried it out in the 415.
Amy- Amy is shown as being super magic matchmaking wonder as she fields a call from a satisfied customer. This segues into the greatest slice of irony pie I’ve ever been fortunate enough to consume. But first- someone pointed out something I MIGHT have missed. Amy possibly has an eating disorder. Now that’s on my radar for future episode (yes I’m recording all the episodes). Well, Amy went on a date last week with a younger man (28). She incessantly points out he’s too young for her and he’s not really her type. By the end of the show, she’s was approaching stalker-land. As this week’s episode shows, she’s STILL stewing that he hasn’t called/texted. By this point I was giggling like a like a Down syndrome kid with a new red balloon. Well, the matchmaker get’s set up on a date and surprise surprise, he’s NOT her type. She then suggests match-making him; which the “date” even points out. Finally we see her getting Botox. Of course she get’s Botox. Of course.
Julia- My favorite train-wreck informs us that page six is reporting that she’s been stalking her ex Jack McCain (yes, son of Senator John McCain). NOOOOOO. I find this completely difficult to believe *wink wink, nudge nudge* She claims she broke things off with Jack because she “didn’t want to be a military wife”. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiight. Then she says (regarding the stalking Jack)- “People always twist everything she does into something negative.” Well shucky darn and slop the chickens Princess Obvious, that’s because what she DOES is typically negative, overly entitled, and socially inappropriate. Pot, meet kettle. Then her “writing” get’s critiqued as by the Editor of Elle magazine as “phony and inauthentic.” OUCH. Then she sees a dating coach who gives her some sage-like advice such as “don’t lean forward, don’t laugh.” Huh? Her date mentions her knowing she’s a blogger were Julia insists she’s a “JOURNALIST”. Then she breaks the façade, and she morphs back into Princess-Beast and guns him down with 1000 inane questions. I got complete douche chills watching her. They ended up going on a bike ride before eating btw. Then she sees the dating coach again and she’s told she has too much shame. ????? She doesn’t have ENOUGH if you ask me. She then admits the dating coach’s advice is “difficult” for her. Yeah well, being a robot usually is. She then tells Julia the best thing ever, “You’re a self-absorbed, narcissistic, princess.” Which causes Julia to cry and Danny to pee his pants in laughter. Her second date is coming up for the next write up on episode 4.
Bravo has been blocking it from YouTube, so…..sorry.