Miss Advised: Buttsex, Botox, and Julia

I realize I’ve been negligent in my keeping you informed of the train wreck “Miss Advised”. Episode 3 rundown-

Emily- Emily goes to Michigan. She goes on a date with a guy she had a crush on back in grade school. Seriously. When I learned of this little fact I realized this show HAS to be scripted. Now she’s staying with her parents and mom has the audacity to ask her when she plans on settling down. But in an earlier episode we learn that MOM was the one the told her to make a career the priority of her life. WTF??? The date with Mr. Vanilla is a yawn fest until the conversation moves to her career as a “sex therapy host” and he mention being interested in “sex in the butt.” I almost fell over laughing. But she’s a goer…so you know she’ll let her grade school crush blast her kiester. She then recommends he come to SF for a weekend. Sex in the butt being pretty “who HASN’T tried it out in the 415.

Amy- Amy is shown as being super magic matchmaking wonder as she fields a call from a satisfied customer. This segues into the greatest slice of irony pie I’ve ever been fortunate enough to consume. But first- someone pointed out something I MIGHT have missed. Amy possibly has an eating disorder. Now that’s on my radar for future episode (yes I’m recording all the episodes). Well, Amy went on a date last week with a younger man (28). She incessantly points out he’s too young for her and he’s not really her type. By the end of the show, she’s was approaching stalker-land. As this week’s episode shows, she’s STILL stewing that he hasn’t called/texted. By this point I was giggling like a like a Down syndrome kid with a new red balloon. Well, the matchmaker get’s set up on a date and surprise surprise, he’s NOT her type. She then suggests match-making him; which the “date” even points out. Finally we see her getting Botox. Of course she get’s Botox. Of course.

Julia- My favorite train-wreck informs us that page six is reporting that she’s been stalking her ex Jack McCain (yes, son of Senator John McCain). NOOOOOO. I find this completely difficult to believe *wink wink, nudge nudge* She claims she broke things off with Jack because she “didn’t want to be a military wife”. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiight. Then she says (regarding the stalking Jack)- “People always twist everything she does into something negative.” Well shucky darn and slop the chickens Princess Obvious, that’s because what she DOES is typically negative, overly entitled, and socially inappropriate. Pot, meet kettle. Then her “writing” get’s critiqued as by the Editor of Elle magazine as “phony and inauthentic.” OUCH. Then she sees a dating coach who gives her some sage-like advice such as “don’t lean forward, don’t laugh.” Huh? Her date mentions her knowing she’s a blogger were Julia insists she’s a “JOURNALIST”. Then she breaks the façade, and she morphs back into Princess-Beast and guns him down with 1000 inane questions. I got complete douche chills watching her. They ended up going on a bike ride before eating btw. Then she sees the dating coach again and she’s told she has too much shame. ????? She doesn’t have ENOUGH if you ask me. She then admits the dating coach’s advice is “difficult” for her. Yeah well, being a robot usually is. She then tells Julia the best thing ever, “You’re a self-absorbed, narcissistic, princess.” Which causes Julia to cry and Danny to pee his pants in laughter. Her second date is coming up for the next write up on episode 4.

Bravo has been blocking it from YouTube, so…..sorry.

14 Comments on “Miss Advised: Buttsex, Botox, and Julia”

  1. jez says:

    Then her “writing” get’s critiqued as by the Editor of Elle magazine as “phony and inauthentic.”


    Then the editor needs an editor. Three words, and already she’s repeating herself.

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      He basically tells her her writing is nothing special. I’ll rewatch it when I get home to see if I got the quote wrong.

      Sent from my iPhone

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      just watched it and YES. the quote is correct. her manager relays what the editor for elle passes on. the editor calls her work “fine”. which i can’t conceive as being a glowing review of her work. her MANAGER calls her work phony and inauthentic.

  2. Oh dear…
    This is the reality of today’s SMP?
    Sympathy all round…

  3. Ceer says:

    On shame and women…it’s possible to have too much in the areas that don’t count and too little in the areas where it really does.

  4. I enjoy your reviews of this show. I haven’t watched it myself, but because of you, I think I will.

  5. A♠ says:

    Danny, I’m torn.

    ½ of me feels bad for you sitting through this show.

    While the other ½ is grateful you do so… and share.

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      Nah, it’s painful yet hilarious at the same time. I’m surprised more sphere guys aren’t watching.

      Sent from my iPhone

      • Chewie says:

        I bought the “Season pass” for this show on iTunes. Even though people on this show bother me to no end, I find it entertaining as hell. You’re right, Danny: this show is a raging hamster-fest. Emily needs to get her priorities straight, Amy needs to *relax already* and Julia needs to stop interrogating people.

        Amy bothers me the most because she always seems to be looking for things to complain about. One minute she’s whinging about going out with a younger man and the next she’s worrying about the calories in her hot chocolate. Worrying about calories while on a date is not attractive. She goes to the gym regularly anyway. One lousy meal won’t kill her.

        I can’t wait for the next episode…

  6. Hamster Tamer says:

    Holy immature banality, Batman… can you imagine ANY of these examples of arrested development RAISING CHILDREN? =:O

    Their alleged involvement in providing relationshyt advice is, no doubt, a source of endless irony for the writers, OMG.

    And just when I thought Attention Slut faux-celeb Julia Allison was gone for good, she manages to re-emerge with really non-credible red hair. The woman was gifted with fabulous cheekbones, but always looks awful because of those WHORE EYES… you can actually see the “Thousand Cock Stare” develop over the years. I can’t believe she’s barely 30… looks like a rode-hard 43 at least.

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