Wow. This is too good

So, I posted on SpaceTraveller’s site (I chimed in around 1:30am on the 3rd.) and took to task a woman who I encountered on her site. Well, she decided to post (i disabled the link, i’m not sending her anymore traffic- just google “charming disarray” if you really want to read the post) specifically about me. Color me fucking flattered. I’ve had more than one woman email me that they are just done with trying to get through to her. Honestly, the fact that she’s dedicated a post just to me (seriously, who the fuck am i?) is telling. I commented on it, but wouldn’t be surprised if it ends up in moderation land. I also want to point out the Bellita (Love you Mahal) is WELL steeped in Catholicism and ST is a very Catholic woman as well.

My mom read the post she was giving me shit about and mom laughed. I sent mom the link that I posted (this blogger is a practicing Catholic…and my mother works actively in her parish) just to hear her deconstruction of the post. Mom has mad girl game btw, she’s been married for 16 years. Lol.

Enjoy.


33 Comments on “Wow. This is too good”

  1. Since you asked... says:

    CD is right. Your blog makes you look a little diseased compared to the many good Catholic men I know.

  2. deti says:

    Danny:

    I read Space’s post and CD’s post. I read both links.

    CD’s argument is in a nutshell:

    1. that there’s a subset of men in the ‘sphere who want “good girls” (i.e. virgins, maybe?) but those same men don’t want to be “good guys” (also virgins, I guess).

    2, Men like Danny who date and, yes, have sex with, girls out of wedlock are weak and unworthy of “good girls” because “good girls” have high standards. “Good girls” expect a lot from themselves and rightly expect a lot from their men. Women don’t want weak men. They want strong men — men stronger than their women.

    3. Men in the manosphere are hypocrites because those men want to do whatever they want, but want their women to be virgins. That’s not fair!
    ______________

    My responses are:

    1. CD is tingling a bit for the Man from the 504. How much time you suppose it took to compose and write an entire post about one manosphere blogger?

    2. “Good girls” can have whatever standards they wish. Problem is in today’s world, when it comes to male-female relationships, more and more men are not even going to try to live up to someone else’s standards. These men are forging rules of their own and saying “take it or leave it”, which really isn’t all that different from how women have been living their lives for the past 35 years or so.

    I don’t make it up; I am just seeing it and reporting on it.

    3. Men and women who want relationships are still going to find each other and do their best to make it work, or not. It’s going to take women giving some too. It’s going to take meeting in the middle somewhere and women giving up some of the things they want, too. No, ladies, you CANNOT have it all — not if you want a man to stay with you long term.

    My $ .02.

    • Chewie says:

      Deti’s got it exactly right here, especially on points 2 and 3. When two people like each other, they will do what they can to make things work out. Relationships are two way streets where the two parties will have to bend a bit if they want to stay together.

  3. Marellus says:

    hahaha … she is setting herself as the prize … and maybe she is a prize … for now … but I don’t like her … and she has never been gamed … and she will be … Heaven help her …

  4. stormy says:

    her whole blog is tl;dr and I don’t really care for most women’s writing unless it involves pictures of their boobs.

  5. ASF says:

    She sounds bitter. Not all men are like that. What a loser. She should woman up.

    P.S.
    tits or GTFO

  6. Random Angeleno says:

    A telling quote from CD’s blog: “Good girls understand and empathize with how much strength of character it requires for men to stay “good” in a hyper-sexualized society. These are the men good women admire, and the ones they marry.”

    CD, in case you are checking out the comments here: the reality is that many men already fit the bill of having that “strength of character” you speak of yet they get *no* attention from the women in their parish. A couple of points below:

    You linked to Darwin Catholic’s blog entry How to Marry a Nice Girl: perhaps you didn’t read the comments section there at all. Or you would have found how Darwin denigrated men who had their hearts broken by the good girls who should have found them worthy marriage candidates by implying that it was entirely their fault and the girls were never to blame, that something must be wrong with them, but nothing is ever wrong with the girl. It came out that women like this simply aren’t in Darwin’s experience, further he puts them on pedestals, consequently it falls completely outside his comprehension that “good” women could ever be like those cited by his commenters. In his defense, he had the ability to intentionally seek out environments that fully engaged his version of Catholicism. That, CD, is a luxury most of us do *not* have. At all. We have to make our stand where we are, live in the world we are in while trying not to be of it.

    CD, if you had spent time in as many parishes as I have, you might have noticed that the supposed “good” women you speak so highly of often ignore the good men in their midst. Maybe because they’re not good enough, not good looking enough, not tall enough, not charming enough, whatever, too many girls look for perfect, they’ll never find it, they get upset when they have to “settle”. Plus women initiate 2/3’s of all divorces when children are involved, that is a fact. A substantial number of these are frivolous divorces, another sad reality that men must contend with and which makes many of us leery of marriage. All that just makes it tougher for those of us like myself who still want to marry a good girl and want to believe there is one out there for them, but find themselves ignored. Data isn’t the plural of my anecdote but I will say I date outside of my faith because I have no choice if I want to go out with women and I rather suspect many other Christian/Catholic men do the same.

    When good men routinely encounter attitudes like this and attitudes like yours on top of this, it is damn easy to become bitter and cynical about women in general which is definitely not a Catholic attitude nor one espoused in this blog. Has it ever occurred to you that a substantial part of the negative attitudes you perceive in the manosphere stem from real life experiences? Why are you so quick to deny us the validity of those experiences? Danny has experienced it too yet he is doing his best to show us his way to have a better attitude toward women even in the face of the attitudes we see in return. Bravo to him. That you find his conduct unbecoming of a potential husband is your prerogative and you might be right saying that about other men, but Danny’s attitude about family shows up in spades, too bad you can’t translate that into husband and father potential in his case. But some other girl will someday and she’ll have a catch on her hands.

  7. M3 says:

    I swear.. reading CD’s stuff made me want to bang my head against the desk. I had to stop reading halfway down. Deti’s 2 cent synopsis is accurate. There’s no further point in dealing with a prize such as her. Let her ‘go her own way’… we’re all too busy going our own way to care 🙂

  8. Jim says:

    The woman who left the comment says it all. Just look at her name. For people that believe in tradition, using your maiden last name along with your husbands is anything but. To me, when women use that, it signals individuality instead of coming together as one. Typical boilerplate feminism clothed in religion. These women are not relationship material.

  9. Spacetraveller says:

    Danny,

    As you know, I too am just a ‘learner’ in this relationship business. I don’t claim to know any more than the next woman.

    But two things are clear to me (even me):

    1. Being a ‘good Catholic girl’ is not enough. Yes, I said that. One can be as ‘good’ as one wants. Without the right attitude, one is still ‘an empty vessel’. You may recognise this paraphrasing from The Good Book.

    CD said this: “The so-called MGTOW movement, as far as I understand it, involves men refusing to get married because the women they meet are no longer interested in traditional marriage and blah blah blah something about divorce.”
    And this: “I don’t know if Danny made this comment without having read my blog, but I’m very much in favor of traditional marriage, right down to the last detail and up to and including being against divorce.”
    The self-righteousness I perceive in her post seems to me to preclude a ‘traditional marriage’. It really does. This takes me back to my original point that being a ‘good Catholic girl’ is not enough. And besides, nowadays, I know that men are turning to MGTOW or foreign women because the women they meet are simply unpleasant. That’s a different accusation from saying that women are not into traditional marriage anymore.
    A (worthy) man does not get a chance to know whether the woman is for or against ‘traditional marriage’ if he can’t get past the ‘hello’ stage because of her graceless demeanor.
    (Now, understand that I say this with all humility in the full recognition that a woman needs to be very careful who she actually responds to. It’s not easy sometimes, granted…).

    2. ‘High standards’ for a woman is very different from ‘high standards’ for a man. This is why there is a double standard. Men and women are different. A man is not as harshly judged vis à vis his sexual past as a woman is. I don’t celebrate this fact, but I see the need to acknowledge it in order to live life. If I expect the man I marry to be a virgin, I am in trouble. That’s not to say I expect to marry a ‘manwhore’ either. But frankly, his sexual past is not the most important thing to judge him by. I, and society judge him by a different ‘standard’.
    This is where I believe CD is stuck. Judging a man by the standards of a woman is just as bad as judging a woman by the standards of a man. Inasmuch as neither is helpful.

    I think Deti’s comment is an insightful one and it says more clearly what I mean to say.

    • Io says:

      Deti
      “1. there aren’t very many of you left.
      2. “good girl” standards are so stratospheric that not even a mix of Jesus Christ, George Clooney, and Bill Gates would satisfy them”

      True, there aren’t many of us left, but we exist. I have plenty of female friends who fit this description.

      To your second point, please re-read my post. It’s about building up strength over time. I’ve pointed out that’s it not so easy to be a good girl. We work at it for years. So what you wrote looks like the “but I caaaan’t attitude” that doesn’t interest or impress. Also, I know men who manage these standards. They certainly don’t think it’s impossible. They’re just willing to try. One of them is my brother, who is happily married. Yes, it took him a while to find his wife, but what he was doing in the mean time? Living a moral life and working towards his future. I NEVER heard him complain about this, although I’m sure he had moments of discouragement. And if he had spent his twenties partying and “doing what he wanted,” I doubt my sister in law would have wanted to date him–not out of a personal dislike, but because she was looking for good Catholic men.

      ““Good girls” like you are extremely selective because you can afford to be. More power to you. But you’ll find fewer and fewer men who are
      a. able to meet your standards; and
      b. willing to even try to meet your standards.
      Best of luck to you. You’ll need it.”

      I have no delusions about this, but it’s better than the alternative.

      As I pointed out, I couldn’t even be attracted to a man who didn’t at least try to have character and morals. I and have met men who meet these standards–which are not “my” standards so much as they are an unwillingness to give up my own. Men are at the point where they demand sex after a couple of dates. This is where we are when it comes to society indulging in every whim men want, even when it comes to demanding another person’s body. It’s really absurd, and I don’t want any part of it.

      There isn’t really any compromise about sex. You either have it or you don’t. And if you want a good girl, you have to wait for sex. If you think you’re going to find the only good girl, one who is not lying about her past, who is going to sleep with you and only you as soon as you meet…well….Best of luck to you. You’ll need it.
      deti-

      if you wish to take this up further i recommend you email her directly at…..

      are you getting the picture now Love?

      one more comment, and i’ll just post your email and people can take this “unworthy discussion” directly to you.

      • Io says:

        Since my email is visible on my blog, I hardly see how that’s much of a threat. Nice effort though. I’m sure ST will have something to say to defend you.

        good. anyone wishing to discuss this further can contact Io at:
        Deleted.

      • deti says:

        I like a good fight as much as anyone. But not here, not now, and not about this.

  10. Random Angeleno says:

    Regarding the sexual double standard, Lolo Jones is a hero to many for holding to her virginity. That is her choice and I respect that. But most everyone thinks there is something wrong or even creepy about 30 or 40 year old male virgins. Even “good” Christian women think that… or else why would they consistently ignore that guy in their midst if they should encounter him?

    This quote from ST hits the nail on the head: “A (worthy) man does not get a chance to know whether the woman is for or against ‘traditional marriage’ if he can’t get past the ‘hello’ stage because of her graceless demeanor.” It may be that in real life, CD’s demeanor is actually quite pleasant, but I sure can’t tell it from her writing.

    • Io says:

      Spacetraveller,

      I don’t lack for attention from men, and have had more than one interested in marrying me, so it’s strange to me that you’re claiming I’m not marriage material. Maybe I’m not; who knows? But it hasn’t stopped men from thinking so. I also never mentioned virginity in my post. None of this is about virginity. It is about expecting men to have self-control, which is masculine and good.

      The amount of whining in the comments here doesn’t show much strength of character to me.

      Danny, your comment won’t be lost in moderation.

      I think it’s unfortunate that good Catholic women like Bellita and ST flatter you, because it gives the wrong impression, but I seriously doubt either one would date you in real life. Oh and guess what–my mom loves me, too!! Ain’t that shocking?And she would be horrified by your blog. She also, it should really go without saying, has been married for exactly twice as long as your mother has been married, is an awesome cook, and takes care of my grandparents. You won’t find a better example of a good wife than her anywhere.

      The trouble with all of this is that men go into hissy fits when they realize that their reputation counts.

      Deti,

      Yes. Certainly men can choose not to participate, and good riddance. But my whole thesis, which you have so carefully summarized, is that the men who want good girls will also find that those girls are simply walking away from them. Men who want slutty women I’m sure have no trouble finding them.

      I know a lot of “good girls” in real life, and I can state with certainty that none of them would consider a man relationship or husband material if he slept around or…and this is crucial…whined. Maybe pointing that out makes me the “bad buy,” but it doesn’t make me wrong, and if you guys have all the answers about how and when to attract these good girls that you like so much, why haven’t you been more successful in doing so? I’m just giving a perspective that you haven’t seen and should probably have the common sense to consider.

      • deti says:

        “the men who want “good girls” will also find that those girls are simply walking away from them”

        As it has been since time immemorial.

        “if you guys have all the answers about how and when to attract these good girls that you like so much, why haven’t you been more successful in doing so? I’m just giving a perspective that you haven’t seen and should probably have the common sense to consider.”

        1. there aren’t very many of you left.
        2. “good girl” standards are so stratospheric that not even a mix of Jesus Christ, George Clooney, and Bill Gates would satisfy them

        “Good girls” like you are extremely selective because you can afford to be. More power to you. But you’ll find fewer and fewer men who are
        a. able to meet your standards; and
        b. willing to even try to meet your standards.

        Best of luck to you. You’ll need it.

      • Spacetraveller says:

        Io,

        I never said you were not ‘marriage material’. I said that your attitude precludes the very traditional kind of marriage you are in favour of. That requires a certain type of woman, eg. your mother. I don’t know her, of course. But I can bet my bottom dollar (or in my case Swiss franc) that she has a different attitude from you. Think about it.

        The virgin example was an extreme example to get my point across. Excuse this tendency of mine to use extremes. In certain cases I need to. Case in point: this one.

        I don’t flatter Danny. I simply recognise a good guy when I see one. If you care to look deeper, you might find that the so-called Manosphere guys are all just normal men with bad experiences behind them. They do change their minds about women when they encounter pleasant ones. And you know something? It doesn’t hurt to be cordial, even if you disagree with them.
        I know you did not intend it this way, but your post about Danny reads like a personal attack. As I said, I know you did not intend it like this. But there we are. It is the perception I got. And believe me, I am trying very hard to stick with ‘Team Woman’. But somehow, it gets harder with your attitude sometimes. This is not a criticism, just an observation.

        “I know a lot of “good girls” in real life, and I can state with certainty that none of them would consider a man relationship or husband material if he slept around or…and this is crucial…whined.”

        This made me smile. Might I say something here? Don’t be so sure about this. A woman in love can get very forgiving all of a sudden. Ever heard of ‘the hamster’? (Oh I forgot, you don’t like Game terms). The hamster can make a devil seem like a saint. It happens. (It can also go the other way, sadly, lol).

        Notice that Deti gives superlatively good advice to women in his last sentence. But I bet you missed it. You choose to dismiss him with your cursory ‘good riddance’.

        Each to his own, I say.
        Like I said to you before, I don’t care where I get my education. Ivy league school as you North Americans say, or the local community college, I’ll take it as it comes.
        You might well insist on getting yours from elsewhere. That’s your choice. We agree to disagree on this one, perhaps?

      • Marcus says:

        CD, in your writing here and on your blog, you seem to really have something against men who , in your words ” whine” . What do you consider whining? It looks like it’s a man expressing any opinion that differs form yours or showing any human emotion and vulnerability. What’s so special about you? You don’t seem all that “nice” to be honest.

  11. Io says:

    Oh, and I have had game used on me. If only men knew how transparent all that BS is!

    • deti says:

      Right.

      So when you marry a man without game, and you’ve completely lost interest in him, send him back here so danny can patch him up and put him in the ambulance bound for Athol Kay’s place.

      • Marcus says:

        HAHA
        right, Deti. Her husband is going to have to game her every waking hour lest she lose respect for him over any little thing. If not, it’s a lifetime of passive aggressive hell. It’s exhausting just thinking about it.

  12. Senior Beta says:

    Danny, CD’s comments on that same thread sent me into orbit as it was on ST’s tribute to Tom Munson, who I considered a friend although I never met him. My only image of her now is of a fat turkey you are getting ready to send a friendly arrow through.

  13. just visiting says:

    CD,

    Of all the bloggers in the manosphere to show contempt for you picked HUS,The Private Man. and Danny. On a memorial tribute of all things. And now a personal attack on Danny. I don’t understand your timing or your choices.

  14. I read that thread and CD’s comments. As a regular reader of your blog, I don’t find it to be negative towards women. What you are is honest.

    I read PUA’s blogs and although they do sometimes make denigrating comments about women, they too are just being honest.

    I’m sick of society trying to force everyone to pretend that we don’t think and feel the way we really do.

  15. ASF says:

    I just want to point out that “attention from men” is a woefully low standard. In the US, any woman who is not fat and even of average attractiveness, will have plenty of attention from men; much more so than a man of comparable sexual rank.

    I tried reading the discussion above, but I can’t figure out what her point is. I think she may believe that “good” as it applies to women, should apply to men in the identical way. Of course that’s foolish, because men and women are different and have different sexual strategies.

    Have you seen that video of virgins kissing? Lulz.

    • ASF,
      “I just want to point out that “attention from men” is a woefully low standard.”

      I was itching to make this point, but as I already had quite a lot of things to say to Io, I held my tongue. I am really glad someone else made this point, though. It IS worth making. Again and again.

      “I think she may believe that “good” as it applies to women, should apply to men in the identical way. Of course that’s foolish, because men and women are different and have different sexual strategies.”

      Again, thank you for reiterating this point. How many times do we need to remind ourselves that men and women are DIFFERENT? With totally different and (sometimes) opposing values?
      Why is this so hard for some to understand?

  16. Badger says:

    Another rationalization hamster set off its wheel? Yawn. At least the popcorn was tasty…

  17. Marcus says:

    CD obviously doesn’t understand the way things work. Oh well. Others here have done a good job explaining why men who do what she claims to want rarely get ahead.

    I’m mostly with you until you claim to be a Catholic. I’m not a Catholic but it seems some of what you think is “ok” really wouldn’t pass the mustard.

    Just because your mom or some other bloggers have no problem with what you may or may not be up to isn’t enough. Evangelical type manosphere bloggers get called out when they go off script so why don’t you just admit you’re “lapsed” or whatever they call it. If I’m wrong and I’m slandering you then I apologize but you do have a few things to explain if you claim to be religious.

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      again. this isn’t a “religious based blog”. but i AM Catholic. Would some of my “practicing” fall under scrutiny….OF COURSE. one of my best friends is a practicing Buddhist. and even she recognizes the hypocrisy among some of the members of her Temple for “not being true to the Religion”. the last thing she would EVER do is criticize another Buddhist.

      this blog isn’t about my Faith.


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