Special PeoplePosted: July 22, 2012 | |
Since everyone has been asking about our favorite Marine blogger. Well I figured I’ll fill you guys in and let you know he’s just fine, he’s just getting some much needed R n R. But don’t expect him to post again until next week. Got a text and we’ll probably talk Monday or Tuesday. So since you all are googly eyed over the big lug I thought I’d share some of what makes the USMC so gosh darn charming.
I was tending to sick call while training with the FAST Company Marines in Cuba (Guantanamo Bay), I was a snot nosed HA (E2), and I had just finished treating a Marines ankle injury. I was sent him away and began writing my SOAP note when I heard, “HEY DOC!!!!” I turned around and saw the Marine, pants around his ankles, bent over a spreading his ass cheeks. “THANKS BABY!!!!!” I glared at him and replied, “Get the fuck out of here dick-bag.” I could hear him giggling as he pulled his pants back up and walked away.
Same group of Marines. While waiting for their chance to participate in a live fire exercise, 2 Marines, full Kevlar- get in a 3 point stance and take turns charging a 6 foot cactus. Yes, you read that right. I stared on in complete disbelief. The following day I had a Marine report to sick call and tell me, “Doc every time I jerk off I pass out right before I nut.” I stared at him. “Get the fuck out of here. Seriously.” He looked at me desperately, “No Doc, I’m dead serious.” I sighed and went to my HM1 and told him what Lance Cooley told me. My HM1 shook his head and said, “Tell him to make sure he keeps breathing. He’s holding his breath then passing out.” I went back and told the Marine to ensure he keeps breathing as he tries to arc one out. He looked at me thankfully, “Thanks Doc!!!” and left the BAS (battalion aid station). Next time I saw him, I asked if he was…uh, you know. “HELL YEAH DOC!!!! THANKS!!!!! *sigh*
I was walking into the head (restroom) to shower when I saw 4 of the Marines sharing a blow job doll. I stopped, I stared in utter disbelief. One of the Marines looked over at me and asked (I kid you not)- “Hey doc, if one of us has an STD and we share this thing, can we catch the STD?” OMFG. I looked at them blankly the uttered, “Uh..yeah.” and walked away. When I finished my shower, they had cleared out.
Out in Okinawa they have typhoon season. Typhoons are basically massive hurricane’s out in the Pacific. Well, there’s a little test of bravery the Marines try. They get in full Kevlar and secure a poncho to their wrists and ankles duck walk out into one of the clearings during an especially windy part of the storm and once they’re ready they bust open standing-up spread eagle in hopes the wind will carry them off. Now IF they get air born, the only way to really get out of it is to curl up into a ball and careen 10-15 feet back to the ground. They call this, “the flying squirrel”.
Kill football. That’s all I can say about that.
But I think my favorite is finding out some Marines missed the Liberty boat while on liberty in Venice, Italy. Well…..that’s some SERIOUS SHIT. You miss the boat getting underway and you have a biiiig problem. So these 3 knuckleheads decided the solution was obvious- steal a Venetian gondola and paddle it to the boat. Dead fucking serious. As the Caribinieri (Italy’s Military police….NOT to be trifled with) approached them they pissed themselves laughing as the Jarheads spun in a circle dead in the water. Well see…you propel a Gondola by moving the rear oar almost like a tail. They were brought back to the ship and became legends.
Maybe now you know why the call them: United State’s Misguided Children. They might be crass, disgusting, filthy beasts- but there isn’t a finer group of men that will walk through hell to protect you. God bless you brothers.
I’m sure you’ll get to read more PogSquat goodness soon. And as far as what he’s been up to: secret squirrel. The Blue Falcon does NOT reside on this site.