Beth and My Journey into Oneitis

i originally posted this back in june of 2011, back when i first started this blog. i had a few (read- BB, Badger, and Yohami) regular readers back then. they asked about my oneitis (it was a subject being discussed on the various blogs).

i met beth awkwardly. we’d exchanged  words while she was looking over the HM wall of medal of honor winners. i saw her looking and explained the wall to her. that was it. well, she came to my clinic (she was ill) and was seen and put on SIQ (sick in quarters). i filled out her paperwork and told her to come back the next day (i out ranked her, and was the man running the clinic then).

she came back the next day and one of the guys BEGGED to get her checked in. whatev. i soon got a request from the doctor she was seeing to meet with me.  turns out……she saw a different doctor and she was  SIQ for the weekend. I FELT AWFUL!!!!. look, she was sick… joke. so for me to drag her out of bed for an unnecessary appointment upset me.

long story short……..she told me to ask her out. from our first date…..i was her’s. we slept together on the first night and spent every moment we could together. the problem was….was that she was leaving to go back to LA in 3 month’s. not a promising thing….but i REALLY liked this girl.

her last weekend in NO she disappeared. no clue where she went. this was the beginning of the end for us. the last week she was in NO all she could do is argue with me. i eventually wrote her off a day or so later.

it was finally her time to go she and came to see me  the day she took off. it was awkward. we talked 2-3 times after she left. but i didn’t feel any connection. i let her go.


i ended up leaving new orleans to take to a ship in Japan. it took me 2 years to get into another relationship. i.was.crushed.

i ran into her while i was in Spain (told her that i still loved her), went to LA to see her. it was……odd.  that died out when i went to kuwait. we crossed paths AGAIN last summer (of 2010). she was going to meet me in NO, but it never happened. this was my learning point…..

i ended it, before we were supposed to meet in NO. she was draining me. i realized that despite how i felt, we just weren’t “right”. i was pondering “us” and had a moment of clarity where i honestly heard “let her go” in my head. then everything made sense. i wasn’t angry or confused, i felt a deep sense of peace in “letting her go”. i called her right away and ended it. she was FURIOUS, and sent me a series of VERY angry texts. i simply replied by asking her to quit texting me. i deleted any and all contact info i had about her. i’ll post a pic of her, but won’t keep it up very long- just to give some perspective to the story.

i’m not going to bad mouth her on my blog, she’s a great girl and i learned a lot about myself from her. but she’s the girl who broke me. and now….i’m better for it. as hurt as i was, the experience was a MAJOR learning point for me- the foolish boy in me, was dead.

Danny, replaced him. and here i am now. stay up.


25 Comments on “Beth and My Journey into Oneitis”

  1. aneroidocean says:

    Wow, that’s pretty recent one-itis. You’ve come far in rather short amount of time. Nice hair. Don’t understand short hair on women. It’s so attractive for a girl to have long hair, to me.

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      Well, tbh…I was already pretty far along on my journey. She was just the final hurdle. Everyone’s path is different and I went through exactly what I needed to to grow, and went though it at my own pace.

      Entiendes Mendes? Lol.

  2. Spacetraveller says:

    She is beautiful Danny. So sorry it ended the way it did…I hope she is happy wherever she is. Hey, I noticed something…she has the same big eyes as your Mum!

  3. Marellus says:

    Why did it not work out ? She’s beautiful.

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      “She’s beautiful.”


      it didn’t work out because she didn’t value or truly respect me. i was a fumbling boy when i met her. and i molded her (based on her beauty and our chemistry) into what female perfection was supposed to be. but i forgot something…….

      i forgot I was also part of the dynamic. and that i have needs and desires (beyond sex). and having her on my arm was never going to sate my needs; even though i was willing to bend the sky to please her. it was a one-way-relationship and once i realized that…..i walked.

      yeah, the journey started in 2002 and ended 8 years later……and God knows there were women after her, but i finally understood, and it FINALLY all made sense- I am my own foundation. i am my own solace. no one will ever be there for me, but me. so i must nurture my own best interest.

      does that mean i don’t appreciate what a woman can offer me…..NO. of course not. but only Danny will save Danny, thusly….I am my priority.

  4. deti says:

    Oneitis can be so incredibly debilitating. Paradoxically, love that deep almost requires oneitis because it takes so much from you. But equally paradoxically, you become willing to give whatever that love demands, even to the point of death.

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      Dude, i love the girl. note that….i STILL admit to loving her. always will. but i realize that there really is no way that relationship could work out. and that was my growing moment. i realized it couldn’t work, and despite my feelings……i walked.

      i know right where she is, but will not seek her out. my experience with her was a MAJOR learning point for me. thanks for chiming in Sir. i was hoping you’d show up for this one.

      • deti says:

        Just about every man I’ve ever known has a “Beth”. He falls for her completely. She is drawn to him, even loves him. Something just draws them to each other. The sex can be lackluster or amazing.

        But there’s something wrong that just keeps it from working. Whatever it is, it’s a doomed relationship. The only thing you can do is just to let ut go and wish each other well.

        Painful, these are.

      • deti says:

        ‘let ut go’ should be “let it go”

      • Andrew Medina says:

        “The mark of a mature man is a certain scar he bears: the memory of a perfect woman never won, or of a once-true love forever lost. However much he may love you, he is only here because she is not.” – Unknown

        Thought this would be relevant. I know I’ve had my “Beth”.

  5. Athol Kay says:

    “her last weekend in NO she disappeared. no clue where she went. this was the beginning of the end for us. the last week she was in NO all she could do is argue with me. i eventually wrote her off a day or so later.

    it was finally her time to go she and came to see me the day she took off. it was awkward. we talked 2-3 times after she left. but i didn’t feel any connection. i let her go.”

    Arguing to make space, long missing time with no explanation, the farewell that’s meant to be a heartache increasing romantic feelings instead reducing them and being awkward…

    …there was someone else she was saying goodbye to.

    That’s my take. So sorry Danny. But good call on figuring it out she wasn’t worth it.

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      i never did clear this up. but something didn’t make sense. but….

      i never really pried. i was well on my out by then. and i really didn’t care by that point.

  6. Spacetraveller says:

    Danny, was Beth before or after the Sicilian girl?

    • dannyfrom504 says:


      Sent from my iPhone

      • The only reason I asked was, I was wondering if Beth may have reminded you in any way of the Sicilian…I gather you liked the Sicilian very much too…
        But perhaps one has nothing to do with the other? I just wondered…

        • dannyfrom504 says:

          I’ll go more in depth when I get home from work bit here’s my relationship timeline- Sonia 97-98 I was 25-26

          Beth 02 I was 30.

          Nancy 05-06. I was 34.

          Ran into Beth in 07 and finally in 2009. After the final time we crossed paths, I bid her adieu after 2 months.

          Sent from my iPhone

  7. […] From 504 – Beta Idle, Beth and My Journey Into Oneitis, You’ve Got To Keep Her On Her Toes, The Girls Are Bringing It,  Alpha Humans, You’re […]

  8. Jake says:

    Like getting vaccine shots. Only hurts for a little bit, and then you’re covered.

    Also better than finding out that some evil motherfucker is banging your lovey lovebird on the side (

  9. […] i stumbled upon Pela. great band. but then i remembered they had a track that i associated with my oneitis girl- beth. i was such a pussy with her, she was my universe. i thought she was all i needed to be […]

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