You Gotta Keep Her on Her ToesPosted: August 1, 2012
I like to keep a gal on her toes. I’m pretty sure I’ve been clear in my use of humor, silliness, good natured ribbing *wokka wokka* mixed with the decisiveness, strength, and reason a lady needs. However, life’s too short to not have fun as you pass through it. I’ve seen enough to know you really need to stop and take a moment to enjoy your time on this ball of dirt.
I was in Japan and me and the gf were heading home. I’ve never had the Asian girl bug. Seriously. I was staring at some girls outside the subway station. Now Japanese schoolgirls have their skirts shortened as the progress through school. As I looked on I asked her, “Baby, I don’t get it. I mean, I guess they’re OK looking…..do you think they’re attractive?” she looked over for a second then looked back forward. She was wearing those huge as all hell sunglasses women love and she replied, “Yeah, I guess so.” As we waited for the bus to get going I stared at her blankly for a few seconds and replied, “Fag”. She didn’t even look at me and answered, “I walked right into that one.” Lol.
I was on the ship and 2 of my girls (that worked in Medical with me) were standing in the quiet room sweating after doing some PT. now I need to put this in perspective. There was a lot of playing ass-grab among 3 of the girls and a few of us guys. There was ZERO sexual tension, it was just funny. And no, he gf didn’t care. Well the girls are in their locker room sweating, and I asked if they went running top-side. The informed me they just did a spin class, their first ever. I looked at them cautiously and said, “OOOOOOOOH, yer shoulders are about to be SUPER sore.” They both looked at me oddly (and yes, both are VERY cute) and asked me what I meant. I told them that the part of the class where they bounce up and down puts a strain on your shoulders and that they needed to stretch immediately. I held my arms out at my side and arched my back to stretch my back/chest muscles. I told the girls todo the same, “Look, you’ll feel it. Your shoulders will have a slight burn.” Lol. Once they had their arms out at their sides I asked them stretch. They looked at me oddly and then I made my move.
I reached in and squeezed each girls breast and yelled, “HONK HONK!!!!!” and I turned and immediately walked out. As I walked away I heard Cheryl utter, I cannot believe we fell for that.” I’m always amazed at what I’m able to get away with with women. Lol.
While mustering one morning for work, I was standing next to one of the girls (here in Florida) and one of our guys had just come back from Deployment. The girl I was standing next to (cute Mexican girl btw) had just gotten married and was in the process of getting new name tapes for her uniform. The guy that came back from Det mentioned not knowing she had gotten married and asked what her new name was. I waited for 2-3 seconds and since no one else was going to chime in, I commented with my last name. Hilarity ensued. But I wasn’t done. I placed my hand on her belly and said, “What are at now baby, 2 months?” Then I nodded and said, “Yeah, I gave it to her GOOD.”
She smiled and shook her head.
My first gf in Sicily and I had been together about 2-3 weeks. Now, there isn’t a long wait time for Italian girls to sleep with you. Their attitudes about sex is pretty liberal and care-free. However it’s a given that it’s a not a casual thing, it’s moving towards dating. Well, we’d been sleeping together fro just about a week. Which translates into we’d had sex about 382 times. Well after we had finished she looked at me and asked (I’m not even going to try and type in Italian) if American girls like doing it in the other place. I looked at her confused and thought about it. I was still learning Italian and replied (in my broken Italian), “The living room?” she covered her face, fell backwards and exploded into laughter. “NO NO NO Dann-ee.” She sat up and touched her ass and looked at me seductively. Look, I was 25, gimme a break. Once the light bulb went off I said, “OOOOOOH, uuuuuh. Yeah….not really. Do Italian girls like it?” she nodded and told me she liked if “from time to time.”
Mental note made dumb American. I know, KNOW- she told every one of her girlfriends about that exchange. Didn’t she ladies? Lol.
Women LOVE flirty playful banter. I made sure to add examples of not just gf’s, but female acquaintances. Flirty banter drives the bus straight to tingle town. Stay up.