Emotional InvestmentPosted: August 5, 2012
I had an interesting talk with a young lady who was having relationship issues. She’s been with dude for about 4-5 months. Her hamster was ignoring some of the legitimate issues she had with dude. First off, she’s 22 and he’s 25. He’s basically your typically Navy guy at 25. I told her that he’s really not going to change much in the next few years. Then I hit her with this-
“You see, your problem is that you’ve made an emotional investment.”
She nodded knowingly, but it seemed that she never considered this. I have yet to meet a woman that doesn’t understand the concept of “emotional investment”. Guys, the emotional investment is the first hurdle you’ll encounter with a new woman. You are in limbo with her until she makes that investment. The EI is the bus straight to the L-word. Now, you can still mess things up with her, but she’s less likely to drop you once she’s made the EI. Once she’s made the investment, her hamster becomes her worst enemy.
Now…..the funny thing is, most women GLADLY make the EI. They’re looking to make it. It’s not a bad thing, it just is. And once she makes the EI, she changes significantly. Even if a woman’s never heard the term “emotional investment”, she knows EXACTLY what it means when she hears it. When does it happen, when does she make the EI- in my experience, around month 3-4. Once she’s made it, you can bet your ass her friends, family, and co-workers know how crazy she is for you. and she probably remembers the EXACT MOMENT she made the EI.
As a man, your job is to get her (if you’re relationship minded) to emotionally invest in you as soon as you can. Once she does, you’re pretty much in the driver’s seat- ESPECIALLY if she knows you haven’t quite committed yet. As I’ve said before I have my “rule of three’s”. I know after 3 months if I want to keep at it, and after another three months I’ll either commit or move on. If she makes it to month 6 I’ve probably decided she’s a keeper. By this point she’s VERY into me. She’s very much bonded to me and has built a decent understanding of who and what I am as an individual (if I sense she hasn’t, I’d have started phasing her out before 6 months). I’m VERY observant and I can build a very good understanding of her within 3 months- ask Nancy from Japan. lol Which is probably why they make the EI in me. In a sense EI is almost a form of submission.
I’ve NEVER known a woman who’s made an EI in a man that didn’t fight tooth and nail to keep the “relationship “alive. The hamster will say ANYTHING to rationalize keeping it going. I know, I’ve flat out given up talking to some women who’s hamster were bat shit crazy trying to keep the fire lit. Some women are obviously smarter than others and will walk, some will draw it out for MONTHS. Because as I’ve said to MANY WOMEN-
“The problem is, you’ve emotionally invested in him. And once a woman does that, it’s VERY difficult for her to walk away.”
The EI is what cads and players are waiting on btw. Once they get it, that’s usually when they start acting a fool. I know, I used to be that asshole. Lol. Stay up.