Emotional Investment

I had an interesting talk with a young lady who was having relationship issues. She’s been with dude for about 4-5 months. Her hamster was ignoring some of the legitimate issues she had with dude. First off, she’s 22 and he’s 25. He’s basically your typically Navy guy at 25. I told her that he’s really not going to change much in the next few years. Then I hit her with this-

“You see, your problem is that you’ve made an emotional investment.”

She nodded knowingly, but it seemed that she never considered this. I have yet to meet a woman that doesn’t understand the concept of “emotional investment”. Guys, the emotional investment is the first hurdle you’ll encounter with a new woman. You are in limbo with her until she makes that investment. The EI is the bus straight to the L-word. Now, you can still mess things up with her, but she’s less likely to drop you once she’s made the EI. Once she’s made the investment, her hamster becomes her worst enemy.

Now…..the funny thing is, most women GLADLY make the EI. They’re looking to make it. It’s not a bad thing, it just is. And once she makes the EI, she changes significantly. Even if a woman’s never heard the term “emotional investment”, she knows EXACTLY what it means when she hears it. When does it happen, when does she make the EI- in my experience, around month 3-4. Once she’s made it, you can bet your ass her friends, family, and co-workers know how crazy she is for you. and she probably remembers the EXACT MOMENT she made the EI.

As a man, your job is to get her (if you’re relationship minded) to emotionally invest in you as soon as you can. Once she does, you’re pretty much in the driver’s seat- ESPECIALLY if she knows you haven’t quite committed yet. As I’ve said before I have my “rule of three’s”. I know after 3 months if I want to keep at it, and after another three months I’ll either commit or move on. If she makes it to month 6 I’ve probably decided she’s a keeper. By this point she’s VERY into me. She’s very much bonded to me and has built a decent understanding of who and what I am as an individual (if I sense she hasn’t, I’d have started phasing her out before 6 months). I’m VERY observant and I can build a very good understanding of her within 3 months- ask Nancy from Japan. lol Which is probably why they make the EI in me. In a sense EI is almost a form of submission.

I’ve NEVER known a woman who’s made an EI in a man that didn’t fight tooth and nail to keep the “relationship “alive. The hamster will say ANYTHING to rationalize keeping it going. I know, I’ve flat out given up talking to some women who’s hamster were bat shit crazy trying to keep the fire lit. Some women are obviously smarter than others and will walk, some will draw it out for MONTHS. Because as I’ve said to MANY WOMEN-

“The problem is, you’ve emotionally invested in him. And once a woman does that, it’s VERY difficult for her to walk away.”

The EI is what cads and players are waiting on btw. Once they get it, that’s usually when they start acting a fool. I know, I used to be that asshole. Lol. Stay up.

23 Comments on “Emotional Investment”

  1. Athol Kay says:

    I think this is very true. But it’s also true that she can also withdraw all her emotional investment, save a tiny bit of investment to keep the account open so to speak. Guys are often dumbfounded when their girl “overnight” turns feral on them and walks/blows it all up in a display of ice cold execution.

    Very often it’s some genuine critical event that happened and she shut off as a result. Then it might even years later she walks. My pro tip of the day is that if she’s going to a funeral, you really should be there too. Really really,

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      I know a girl who decided to “make it work” when she left for San Diego from Japan. Was very clear that she wanted to be a mother and everything. Well the BF got another girl pregnant while she was in SD.

      That was 3-4 years ago. She’s still with him. married btw.

      and i’m sure a woman can flip the script “overnight”, but i think women that do probably have some kind of psychosis going on.

      Sent from my iPhone

    • Good article, and good counterpoint Athol. Girls can indeed be emotionally invested, but have a switch that they flip where they turn off instantly. Something to be very aware of.

  2. Handlingtheredpill says:

    What are some indicators of a woman having made the EI ?

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      every woman’s different, but i can usually tell. like i said it’s usually around the 3-4 month mark. i can feel a certain energy about her, a softness. she’s usually VERY eager to please you (and mean outside the bed room) too.

      in female friends, after some time i notice a more sunny demeanor when you mention their bf. they get starry eyed, they get smile uncontrollably. at least that’s what i’ve notice.

      • Handlingtheredpill says:

        Thanks . The softness I have noticed I think… though not so much in public . I am a little unsure what to do with PDA. If I don’t give her any she’ll come over at some stage , almost concerned… but remains aloof , non-touchy, overall. If I give her a lot of PDA she warms up and gives me more smiles, kisses and touches. Seems the opposite of what Game blogs tell me. ( PDA =needy thus less effective in creating attraction) It could be a calibration issue. She also isn’t the type to bombard me with silly msgs or things like that. Maybe I should count that as a blessing.

        Some things that have changed in the last month(s):
        – often buys me beers and prefferred breakfast foods when I stay over
        – Tells me I can take anything from her fridge at any time. (fast metabolism here)
        – if I tell her she looks ‘sexy’ or ‘cute ‘ in a certain outfit she’ll wear it again
        – ditto with hairstyle
        – more prone to please me in the bedroom without me prompting it
        – Invited me to meet her family
        – Shares more details of her life history/ social circle

        • dannyfrom504 says:

          How long has it been going on for.
          PDA for me is light. Hand holding and holding her close. Kissing is kept to a minimal….no tongue. And holding/kissing is kept to a short time
          Again- every woman is different and I can’t gauge what i’d do without knowing her.

          That’s the hardest part of offering woman advice for me.

  3. Handlingtheredpill says:

    3-4 months. The PDA I am unsure about is more when we’re with friends at a party or the pub. In the beginning I went overboard with the PDA. But so did she . Especially after a few drinks. I think she wanted to guage my level of interest ( I was rather more cocky/funny initially) . I’m going to experiment with lighter PDA , occasionally picking up her hand or holding her . I usually try to do my own thing when we’re with friends, don’t follow her around and sit / stand away from her. Maybe it’s too aloof. She’s very outgoing and moves around the room while I’m more the one to stick with my trusted friends…. (if there’s an opportunity I will talk to other women in front of her )

    I always feel a little chumpy if I hold her for a long time when I’m around friends. Pushing her away from the group for a quick make-out seems to work though. Hand holding we mostly do when we walk around. Sometimes I intentionally put the hand on her side in my pocket so that she grabs my forearm …it feels more dominant . My friends aren’t good examples, they will lean their head on their girl’s shoulders sometimes.

  4. You are absolutely right.

    Once a woman has “invested” she will put up with anything, give up anything and do anything to keep that relationship going. And the more invested she is, ie, the longer the length of time together, etc. the harder the woman will work to keep that man.

    This is why when a man breaks up with a woman he needs to tell her brutally, in WORDS like this: “I DON’T WANT YOU. I DON’T LOVE YOU.” If he doesn’t do it harshly and VERBALLY, her emotional investment will keep her clinging on and hanging in there to work on the relationship. Men don’t do this, instead, they try to break things off through their actions.

    Women just can’t seem to cut off their emotional investment, even when it is beyond obvious the man is no longer invested, or was ever invested in them. (This is one of the reasons women put up with physical abuse.)

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      Yeah. I told girl in Japan, “when I leave for San Diego, it’s over.” even then when she I was living in Spain- 2 years later…she was still thinking we might work out. I had to tell her I had crossed paths with Beth in order for Ed to REALLY move on. And when she did, she severed all ties. I literally haven’t spoken to her since.

      Sent from my iPhone

      • To get rid of a woman, you have to literally scream at her that you don’t want her, no way, no how, not gonna happen in this lifetime or any other. Anything short of that and she has hope.

        Men don’t realize that. They think a hint will work, like to stop calling or move away and not give her the new address. That’s not enough for most women to get it.

  5. Jim says:

    Kinda been giving this one woman some IOI’s and been screening her out here and there. She’s in a relationship BTW but I’m not even about breaking things up. One night we were talking and she said her boss keeps eyeing her all the time. And my first response was maybe he likes you. And she got to telling me that she wants the real deal yada yada and even though he has money she wants the real thing. So then I pop the question asking if if she found it in regard to her current situation. She said no. She wants someone she can trust she says even though he’s already cheated once. EI or waiting for BBD? My take is she has so much EI and willing to stick it out until he dumps her. She has plenty of orbiters around.

    She is in the minority of women BTW that don’t scare me. Really nice gal. No attitude and easy to talk to.

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      Sounds like the type of person who validates themselves by being in a relationship.

      I’d tell her (seriously), “if he cheated on you and you KNOW he’s not what you’re looking for…..why are you still with him?”

      As far as her EI, a woman with and honest EI would rationalize her basing him, not admit to him not doing it for her. My guess is she’s VERY insecure.

      Sent from my iPhone

  6. just visiting says:

    This is what causes conflict with me. If a guy sends mixed messages to me, I’ll just figure he’s not into me, so I’ll back off. But a lot of sphere advice is about keeping women off ballance. So, not sure if I’m helping or hindering myself. It would be pretty terrible to be invested in someone who isn’t.

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      I never said anything about mixed messages on a man’s part. As a matter of fact, if a man is sending mixed signals, a woman SHOULD be skeptical and pay due attention.

      This post was simply about women and their propensity for making an EI in a man. And what it usually means.

      Sent from my iPhone

  7. Athor Pel says:

    I’m pretty good at getting women to go away after seeing them for a few weeks or months. It’s easy. No sex.

    Or if you’re in a particularly clueless or cruel mood, tell them you’re going to restart a relationship with someone else, someone you’ve known for years, someone you’ve thought about marrying, someone you’ve met again after several years apart. You do this because, and you tell her this, “I have to give it a try. I need to know whether it can work or not.” Yeah, they don’t stay around for that.

  8. Spacetraveller says:

    So so true, Danny!
    A man is ‘home free’ if he is sure he has got this from a woman.
    Until he sees evidence of this, he should really not be commiting to her.
    At this stage, he can ‘test’ the waters by letting her chase him a bit. If she fails to do this at all, then she isn’t emotinally invested.
    Once a woman shows signs of this EI, a man should NOT abuse it.
    A player or a cad is setting himself up for some really bad karma if he deliberately conjures up this feeling in a woman only for ‘kicks’. It is a very bad thing to do to a woman, for it can destroy her.
    A lot of bitter, horrible women I know had this done to them.
    Years later, they still can’t get over it.
    Sure, they chose the wrong men to EI in, but how to know he is the wrong one at the time of the EI?
    Tricky business…
    A woman really needs to be properly educated to know what she is doing in a relationship. Otherwise she can really fall prey to this sort of thing.
    This is where The Manosphere comes in. Guys like you, Danny, are doing a good job providing this education 🙂
    Keep up the good work!

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      yeah, i’m quite sure you can seriously damage a woman by using her EI against her. BUT, some men- read: men that have largely been shit on by women or have been constantly turned down just to watch said woman chase after the bad boys….

      they just don’t care.

  9. Phoenix says:

    So where does one begin to get the emotional investment started? Just being her friend and let her do most of the talking?

  10. […] From 504 – Emotional Investment, The New Living Standard, Fight Night. . . Almost, Danny Screens For A Woman, The Padawan Is Now A […]

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