The New Living Standard for Men?

Read an interesting article at The Spearhead last night about 4 guys in NY that all went in on a 2000 sq ft loft in Queens, NY. The story of the 4 men is FASCINATING. Their “careers” are in no way parallel. They all split the rent and have pretty much separate lives, some have girlfriends, blah blah blah. I’ll let you read the story yourself.

What I found interesting is how this lines up so well with the MGTOW movement. Hell, I’ve even let slip that I plan on buying a few acres in southern Louisiana and parking a travel trailer and running a micro farm. The Spearheads article asks if this living arrangement will be the new standard arrangement men choose because of family courts destruction on the American family. Some touch on (even the NY Post article) how some men simply don’t want to live alone and loneliness will be a major factor in men’s decisions as well. But what REALLY got me was this-
“Splitting the rent four ways gave the roommates the economic freedom they needed to pursue their dreams. For Mr. Brown that meant making films; for Mr. Dempsey and Mr. Theerakulstit it was acting. Mr. Crane channeled his interest in fantasy into creating The Burning Wheel, a role-playing game he first published in 2002.

None have come close to making it big, although Mr. Crane is somewhat famous in the niche world of role-playing. But compromise has come hard.

For years, Mr. Brown dodged permanent video editing assignments for short-term gigs so he could write a screenplay and make a short film. But then, he said, he “crashed and burned” after investing 18 grueling months — and his savings — in the film, which received “disappointing” responses at various screenings. “I’ve kind of let go of the obsession and anxiety of expressing myself,” he said, “and just given myself permission to work and live.”


I really like how the guys are living for the freedom of chasing what their passions are rooted in, money isn’t an issue outside of having enough to get by. After 12 years in the Navy I choose a “good paying” job to fall back on when I retire. I became a Radiologic Technologist, I’ll be pulling in just about what an RN makes. Honestly, I’ve never been preoccupied with making money, I grew up poor, and now my mom’s married to a man that started his own business and makes VERY good money. Had it not been for my dyslexia (I STILL haven’t been able to pass college Algebra, I’ve given up trying) I’d probably have a PhD by now, but after 2 years in college (while on active duty), I finally decided college wasn’t for me. The idea of working the micro-farm and maybe work 2-3 days a week sounds fantastic. Maybe there will be a woman, maybe there won’t. Solitude suits me fine. I always have Brody. Lol.

I don’t know if this living arrangement will become more and more common. But I certainly see it as a viable option if a man decides marriage isn’t for him. Will it pan out for these guys as they get older? That’s one of the questions the guys ask themselves in the article. Who knows? One of the guys even points out that he watched so many friends get married in the 20’s and 30’s, and they’re now unhappy and divorcing. But by and large, these guys are zippity do dah. I’ve seen how MISERABLE single women in their 30’s are trying to catch a dude, but no luck. But for most guys, it’s not that crucial- ESPECIALLY if they make it out of a divorce relatively intact.

For me, haring a place with 3-4 dudes is not all that appealing to me, since I prefer being by myself if I don’t have a GF. I have no idea what the future knows, but that didn’t prevent me from thriving over the last 18 years of my so-called “career”. While I have no serious “formal” education, I managed to see a large portion of the world and learned a LOT along the way. Hell, I’d be willing to bet that 70% of Americans have seen or experienced as much as I have.

I think those four guys will fare just fine. After all- fortune favors the bold. These guys are going against the grain, and as we all know- men crave adventure. Lol. Stay up.

17 Comments on “The New Living Standard for Men?”

  1. Spacetraveller says:

    In this economic crisis, their living arrangement makes sense.
    If one day they wish to live with their girlfriends/wives I am sure they will make the transition required (psychologically/socially etc).
    I think there is method in their ‘madness’ that their critics might not see…

  2. Jacquie says:

    I think you hit it in the last paragraph, These guys are going against the grain

    I believe that whether it’s four guys sharing a space, having a trailer parked out on some acerage or a man and woman traveling together through adventures, it’s just a matter of walking away from the status quo and doing what you dream about instead of what society says you have to.

    Recently several conversations with D have been about this subject, going our own way. We’ve discussed getting rid of just about all of it, keeping the bare minimum and going. D is definitely the adventurous type and has dreams of motorcycling across the continent, hiking the appalachian trail and more. At one time he talked about getting his own rig and just the two of us going over the road. I didn’t like the sound of it at the time, we still had kids in school, but now? I wouldn’t mind selling the house and all that’s within it and going. We have some things in the planning stages so in the next five years he may get what he wants. What I want is to just follow him whereever his ambitions lead him. The ‘American Dream’ is not all it’s cracked up to be is what I’ve learned. It’s time to try something different.

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      I can’t even begin to tell you how excited I am about starting my micro farm. Chicken, goats and a few crops. I might work a few days a week, but I plan on mostly tending to my farm. The rest of my time will be spent hunting, checking traps, and fishing. Aaaah the Cajun paradise.

      I hope you D find every happiness. And your admitting/submitting to him proves what a great woman you are. Thusly, I KNOW D is a man that would be welcome at my camp anytime.

      Sent from my iPhone

    • Bellita says:

      Until I read your comment, Jacqui, I never thought that couples or even whole families could Go Their Own Way as well . . . but we all can, can’t we? 🙂 I suppose the FGTOW would be those that choose to homestead and homeschool. There is a lot of resistance to that as well.

      • dannyfrom504 says:

        Mahal is back to reading my site??!!

        Missed you Mahal.

        I think the FGTOW might become the norm. I know I’m looking forward to my homestead.

        Sent from my iPhone

      • Stingray says:


        We homeschool and are hoping to do some homesteading someday and depending on where one lives there is either a lot of resistance or a whole lot of support. I have been pleasantly surprised by the number of people excited about the fact that we homeschool. I have run into very few people who are not and they typically won’t say anything. They usually just look at me like I just let out a terrible smell and change the subject.

        Not to the same degree but it’s mostly the same about homesteading as well. Given the state of or economy and uncertainty many, many more people are learning about it and at least going about it in a small manner. It’s exciting as one cannot do these things without a huge return to family. I hope the trend continues.

      • dannyfrom504 says:

        i’m down with homesteading (and the movement is growing), but i’m not sure i could home school. i’d LOVE to, but i’m too dyslexic to teach a kid. i could teach one to read and hunt. that’s about it. however, that kid (male or female) will be a resourceful survivable little SOB.

        i suck. i know.

  3. Athor Pel says:

    Teaching them to read is all you really need to do anyway. Everything else is up to them. Once they learn to read they should start teaching themselves. They become a self learner.

    Humans don’t learn something unless we want to learn it. Active teaching doesn’t work. The other person has to want to learn for you to ‘teach’ them anything.

    I have to define what I mean by ‘learn’. Learning as I’m describing it is making knowledge of a subject a part of yourself to such an extent that 20 years later you remember everything. I am definitely not talking about the kind of learning that usually happens in public schools, meaning rote memorization for tests with the knowledge gone three days later never to return.

    Kids come out of the womb full of curiosity. They naturally want to learn all there is to learn that interests them. They definitely want to learn everything they can from their parents. Heck, they want to be their parents. It takes going to public school to destroy that inbuilt curiosity. From what I’ve read it’s completely gone by third grade.

    How much of high school academics do you remember? Did they teach you anything that you still use to this day? I remember being taught literally the same things three years in a row in some subjects. Spoon feed, spoon feed, spoon feed, over and over again.

    I’ll tell you what I learned in public school. I learned how to take tests. I’m really good at it. I’m so good at it that the score I get, specially on poorly designed tests, is not indicative of what I actually know about the subject being tested.

    I will go so far as to say that if you send your kids to public school that you don’t love them.

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      Interesting point. I don’t have kids. So I really can’t comment.

      But outside of school, I’ll teach me kids (if I have any) how to survive. They will know how to get by, and how to eat. They will learn to make a shelter. IF a woman is involved she’ll probably be much smarter than me, so she’ll head up most of the schooling. Lol

      • Stingray says:


        Teaching them those things will so peak their curiosity about the world and their surroundings that they will be light years ahead. My eldest daughter can start a fire with a feral rod (almost eight) and can shoot like a champ. She goes hunting (well scouting really) with daddy until she is old enough to handle the rifle. Homeschooling goes SO far beyond the normal math, reading, etc and the kids love it. (Not all the time of course, but overall they do. Finishing school at noon while the other kids get home at 3:00 makes them quite happy as well.)

    • Stingray says:

      Beat me too it. 🙂

  4. jg says:

    Even without being aware, I have been a MGTOW guy for a long time. It was weird after I turned 40(because under normal circumstances I should be settled with a few munchkins running around and tied to a thankless soul sucking job) but I have reconciled with it and moved on. I have low overhead because I live lean and I am mobile making it easier for me to move wherever and whenever. Like Danny, I too live in the south and since moving here, I have come under a lot of pressure to get married by the churchian crowd but I simply ignore them. They consider it strange that I am alone and single!!!

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      do what makes you happiest brother. i know (as a man close to 40) the “meh” you feel about having a woman in your life. i really don’t feel i’m missing out being a man without kids.

      matter of fact, i’m HAPPY i don’t have kids.

  5. The Navy Corpsman says:

    This was the very intent of my wife and myself, to buy a ranch in cattle country after retirement and withdraw from the world of credit consumerism and financial uncertainty. We grow nearly everything we eat, plus we send a grass-fed sides of beef to the kids every four months or so. Once I got the house finished (half stone, half timber-framed, like a Tudor style country home in Merrie Olde England) we’ve been on easy street, living off the income of small investments and bonds. We’ve got about 1200 heifers and calves, three bulls with attitude problems and 22 horses. I learned timber framing as a boy from my grandfather, and I’m teaching myself blacksmithing (with a lot of help from books) as well as some machining with a small CNC mill I got for free, helping a neighbor build his barn. WEEKS go by without us seeing another soul, except pickup trucks on the highway, from the mesa top.

    Is it worth it? That depends on the people involved. If it’s just you, remember that no one will come looking for you if you roll the tractor over on yourself. Life is a LOT slower, but that was a plus, for us. I should point out that my wife was born in Alaska, and grew up all over the Western USA, so she knew exactly what we were getting into… and was the one who suggested it in the first place. I would even go so far as to say, mention such a plan to a potential girlfriend and watch her reaction…. it’ll tell you volumes about her.

    The Navy Corpsman

  6. […] From 504 – Emotional Investment, The New Living Standard, Fight Night. . . Almost, Danny Screens For A Woman, The Padawan Is Now A Jedi, More On Screening, […]

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