GAY GAY GAY!!!!!!Posted: August 16, 2012 | |
SpaceTraveller recently posted a question as to why men aren’t as “touchy feely” as woman are. The simplest answer is because we aren’t women. I COULD end it there, but I thought I’d offer some insight into this. Because hugging a man has “guy code” that comes with it. When is it appropriate to hug another man?
1. The man is a family member and you’re greeting him
2. Extreme cases of tragedy or celebration with male friends
Outside of those 2 cases, hugging another man is uh….NO. A hand shake is sufficient. Now that we have that out of the way, let’s take this in a different direction. ST posited how a man would consider it “gay” to be touchy feely with another man, and that woman are ALWAYS touchy feely with each other and never consider it “gay”. I have told damn near every woman I’ve dated I didn’t care if she made out with or slept with another woman. This was actually a discussion I had with the young lady I’m talking to now. A lot of guys just don’t care if their girl fools around with another woman. I’ll end that RIGHT THERE.
One thing I do know and I tried to explain to ST is that the locker room ENCOURAGES behavior that could make your buddy feel uncomfortable with gay innuendo. Case in point: The story I told of the Marine that thanked me for seeing him in sick call by dropping trough, bending over and spreading his butt-cheeks apart (Ala Mike Honcho) and saying, “Thanks sweetie.” Sigh. One of my guys on my ship walked up behind me and gently put his finger where my bung is. I stopped, pushed up against his finger and grunted loudly. My co-worker jumped backwards and went, “Uuuuuh!!!!!” I laughed and kicked him in the ass. One of the girls saw the exchange and told my coworker, “You fag.” Lol.
I was in an elevator with my boy Allen. The elevator opened and a cute girl stepped in.
I IMMEDIATELY said, “Look, I don’t understand why you get so worked up Baby. You know I’m a physical guy. So when you come over dressed like that I just wanna eat you up.” I traced his arm gently and the girl was looking our way. My friend was laughing uncomfortably and said, “Look girl, this is what he does, he’s trying to embarrass me. We’re not a couple.” I looked at him shocked, “You fucking disingenuous jerk. So what am I, just a fuck?” As I said this the door opened and the girl casually walked out. Allen punched me hard in the arm, “You fucking asshole.” We were both laughing. I told my boy-
“MMMMMM, Daddy loves it when you get frisky. RAWR tiger.” Lol.
I can’t say this is just unique to Military types. I joke like this with my neighbor Sean. His wife giggles in delight. Lol. And it’s not anything recent or new. Remember the scene in “Tommy Boy” when Chris Farley leans in to kiss one of his frat buddies? Sorry, no link was available.