Fuck My Life

at work today i was scrolling some BS site that talks shit about celebrities. well, i ran across a pic of salma hayek. now i LOVE me some salma hayek. well, she’s definitely not the same SH from her “dusk til dawn” days. one of my co-workers on the radiology “goon squad” saw the pic and replied, “HAAAAAAM BURGER!!!!” which means he approved of the pic. SH was wearing a dress that had her titties smashed up into her chin. my wee definitely approved. when i mentioned that she still has it, but wasn’t as hot as she was 10-15 years ago. my friend agreed. then it happened. the game began.

EVERY man knows this game. for the next 20 minutes me and 4 other guys played the “who would you” game. basically we were comparing SH NOW, to younger celebrities. some of the actress’ mentioned were: ashley green, vanessa hudgens, demi lovato, selena gomez, etc. you get the idea. we all went with the younger celebs of course. i finally had to walk away. this could easily go on for hours. yes ladies, we’re that simple. here’s the pic we were looking at



well, on the way home….leaving work. it was raining VERY badly. like forest gump “big fat rain” rain. so i was standing at the door, watching the rain. and this relatively cute asian girl offered to walk me to my car under her umbrella. now she had no reason to offer this. i haven’t seen such a sincere, selfless, genuinely kind gesture in a LONG time. it was very sweet of her. well, her umbrella was tiny, and she’d end up getting more wet anyway. it was just raining too bad. i thanked her and walked out into the storm. I.GOT.SOAKED. i’ll never forget that girl. things like that don’t happen often.

soaked. the shirt says, “i could be your worst mistake”. money.























on a more serious note. RIP to my fallen brothers Glen Doherty and Tyrone Woods, Navy SEALS who were killed trying to protect the American Ambassador to Libya. they weren’t part of some security detail, they were security consultants and stepped up as the embassy was being over run. God Bless you Brothers. i’d like to point out the faux pas the MSM has made in calling them “former Navy SEALS”. there are no “former” Marines, SEALS, Corpsmen, Green Beret, Delta, or Ranger. you CAN be former Chair Force though. because well, fuck those guys. lol. just kidding.


18 Comments on “Fuck My Life”

  1. aneroidocean says:

    What makes her over the top hot is her poise, her talent, her intelligence, her accent, etc..
    She is what women should strive for.

  2. M3 says:

    Danny.. you missed a golden op! You could have accepted the offer, held the brella for her and still get soaked, but you’d have something funny to talk about with a possibly single lady while doing it.

    A class act like that EARNED chivalry.

    Sorry bout your bros. They went down with honor.

    Ps-if you like. I can Photoshop Ben Aflecks face on over yours in that pic to soften the blow to your readers…

    I kid because I care 🙂

  3. stormy says:

    Marion Cotillard is one of my favorites.

  4. Spacetraveller says:

    I have always liked Salma Hayek. She starred in a film with ‘Chandler’ from ‘Friends’ – I forget the name of the film, and I think she played the role very well.
    Eva Mendes is another Latina favourite of mine, but I don’t know if she can be described as ‘hot’.
    J Lo in her younger days was also a very talented actress whose films I enjoyed. She was also very attractive, would you agree?

    And I know you like the javelin thrower Leryn Franco 🙂
    Sophie Marceau looks very different these days from when she was in ‘Firelight’, but that’s OK. She was sublime in that film…

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      aaaaaah. we all know i’m a sucker for latinas and brunettes. taking your BF to get his toofuses cleaned this weekend. be prepared to cry. he reacts BADLY when coming out of anesthesia. it almost brings me to tears. can’t imagine how you’d react.

  5. Jim says:

    She’s hot and knows it. That is the turn on of all turn ons.

  6. Just1X says:

    Wild Wild West…that corset



    WWW was made 13 years ago, so you’d be comparing apples to apples

  7. Athor Pel says:

    September 21, 2012 at 01:12

    She’s hot and knows it. That is the turn on of all turn ons.”

    Nope. You sound like a girl.

    This is how it is for a guy, she’s hot and she’s into me. That’s hot. I don’t give a crap whether she knows she’s hot.

  8. Invictus III says:

    I’ll let your Air Force comment slide only because most of my fellow airmen are fat, lazy manginas. Also definitely not going to be claiming “once and airman, always an airman” when I get out next year.

  9. The Navy Corpsman says:

    Damn… I’m pretty sure that Salma Hayek won’t ever drown.

    STILL a Navy Corpsman

  10. Athor Pel says:

    Tell me if these generalizations don’t ring true.

    AF chicks are above average in looks, for the military, but few are truly exceptional with a high percentage being right on the edge of overweight, compared to the other services.

    Army chicks are average in looks with a high percentage being latinas that come across as a little bit scary. Almost all are fit, well, fitter than AF chicks.

    Marine chicks are either butt-ugly or so hot you wonder what planet they’re from and why the hell they’re in the marines. Even more of them are fit except for the butt-ugly pigs that strain their uniforms in ways that should be against regs.

    Navy chicks are in roughly the same boat as AF chicks. Sorry I don’t have witticisms here. I don’t have much of a sample in my memory since I never served with Navy chicks except in language school and never talked with any guys that did.

    But what they all share is an inflated sense of their own SMV. Because they are in a majority male environment they get an out-sized amount of male attention and consideration. They get the big head, unless they’re married.

    The phenomenon that I found fascinating were the number of girls willing to get pregnant in tech school to avoid fulfilling their enlistment contracts.

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      “The phenomenon that I found fascinating were the number of girls willing to get pregnant in tech school to avoid fulfilling their enlistment contracts.”

      100% true.

      and yes, i’d have to agree with what you posted above.

  11. ASF says:

    I just looked up what E6 and E3 meant. I didn’t realize you had all those stripes bro. Salma Hayek is to die for. I have seen recent pictures of her, and yeah, she was looking old.

  12. […] From 504 – Woe Of Women, Fuck My Life, Advice From Cholos, Steak Au Poivre, Socially Unacceptable, The Twenty Minute ONS […]

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