The Klonapin Chronicles

i need to apologize. you see, i’ve been prescribed klonapin in order to rectify my non-exsistent sleep cycle. klonapin is a POWERFUL sedative. and it just so happens i’m sensitive to benzo’s, and i’m supposed to take it QHS (at hour of sleep). problem is, i’m in a fog until noon if i take it that late. i’ve since started taking it round 4pm. by 8pm i’m riding the wave of “yeeeeeeeeah maaaaaan”. so if you and i had a conversation over the last few days after 9pm, i don’t really recall it or the subject matter. when i get to work in the morning, my coworkers all laugh because it’s VERY apparent i’m medicated. i HATE narcotics, i refuse to take them. but this shit is fucking dope (see what i did there?). so i decided to write my posts at work when my head is clear.

back when i was in Kuwait one of room-mates had problems sleeping. he was given ambien. well me and the other roomie were gym rats and ingesting TONS of protien powder and various supplements. well the protien gives you HORRID and frequent gas. i felt bad for the other roomie because not only was he having trouble sleeping, he was being blown up by two ass cannons.

then he started taking ambien. i took ambien once. shit rocks. well, one night he was out on the smoke deck. and in his fog, he wrote a series of thoughts on a piece of paper. he had ZERO recollection of it the next day, but he handed me the paper giggling. he titled it “the ambien files”. and it was a fucking GEM. it a series of various thoughts and i wish i could recall the entire thing. but some were-

  • right now, my truck, a smoke, some poon, and whiskey would be the best thing ever.
  • why does kamryn’s tit’s have to be so fucking perfect.
  • i wonder who that slut crazy bitch is fucking at camp virginia. (crazy bitch was a girl he banged during training that was sent to another camp. i routinely acted the part of preist in their fake marriage. “do you asshole, to this crazy bith to be your lawfully wedded husband? them imitate pulling on a cig, exhaling and saying, “fuck yeah.” “and do you crazy-bitch take this asshole as your lawful wedded husband?” then ape her reply, “WHATEVER, i don’t caaare”. both crazy bitch-rachel and asshole-chris thought it was the funniest shit ever. both are VERY country btw.
  • kamryn’s got an iud, i think i’m gonna drop a load inside of her. mmmmmmmm. poon. (kamyn was our clinic slut, she tried to fuck me, i shot her down)
  • it’s 11pm and i bet my room smells like a toilet. (yeah protein powder).

i was SHAKING in laughter as i read it.

then it hit me. i had a stroke of what could be sheer genius or absolute stupidity. i’ve decided i NEED to post while in the midst of my klonapin high. there will be no wisdom shared in the posts, just the rambling of a medicated sailor with PTSD who’s “give a fuck meter” is non-existant. stand by. it’s either gonna be absolute hilarity or total idiocy. but it’s for entertainment purposes only. thats the beauty of me. i can either provide pearls of wisdom or examples of how NOT to do shit. lol. this should be interesting. you think i post typos now- just WAIT for benzo laden posts of absolute worthless dreck pouring from my drugged mind into a post.

stay up.

author of the ambien chronicles and me in the background.

we dubbed this “the brittany”. i told you he was special.

the 2 room-mates. chris was “choking billy’s chicken”. get it. do yah get it?


19 Comments on “The Klonapin Chronicles”

  1. sosweet2362 says:

    I can’t wait to read it Danny. Ambien has the same effect on me. All electronic devices must be locked up after I take it because ALL buffers are gone. The first few m

    • sosweet2362 says:

      …hmmm if I could type today it would be helpful. As I was saying, the first few weeks of summer last year were difficult ones for me and I didn’t get much sleep until I started taking Ambien. All I can say is thank goodness I didn’t blog back then.

  2. Vicomte says:

    Be careful with that shit. I’d go as far to say that prescribing clonazepam for insomnia is irresponsible medicine.

    Long half-life, too.

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      i’m sleeping like a baby. and i’ve titrated it to where i’m functional at work.

      benzo’s have a decent effect on me. never taken them before. i’m managing. thanks for the counsel.

      • Vicomte says:

        Tolerance builds quickly, and you can get physically addicted easily.

        Not to mention rebound insomnia, and the fact that benzos mess you up hard while making you feel like everything is Just Fine. I wouldn’t take it for more than a week or two at the outside.

        Note that I don’t have any medical training, but I’ve been through enough detoxes to see some pretty messed up people. The benzo-heads are the worst. Respect the dope.

  3. Young Hunter says:

    Looking forward to this.

  4. Matt says:

    I have chronic sleep problems including screaming (literally) nightmares. Years ago I was able to take Ambien to sleep. Now if I take it I’m still waiting to go to sleep 3 hours later. It’s really annoying. One doctor gave me samples of Lunesta to try, the first five doses worked very well, after that, not much effect. Melatonin sometimes helps me sleep, but really intensifies my dreams, not a good thing when horrible nightmares and night terrors are involved.

    Good luck in finding a solution.

  5. Justsayin says:

    Danny,
    I work with drug addicts and Klonopin is one of the worst drugs to come off of. I see it ruin lives everyday. Seriously, if you can…STOP taking it. Many patients I work with started taking it for the same reasons you are now and became addicted very quickly. Bad stuff dude..really bad stuff!!!

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      i actually asked my internal med doc and psychiatrist about the addictive properties and my psych told me that’s why he wants to monitor me once a month. once i start to notice i feel like i NEED it. i’m getting treatment.

      • Justsayin says:

        Alright, well be careful. I would hate to see you end up in one of our beds endlessly crying and having suicidal thoughts(yep, this is what happens with monster K) as you withdraw. 😉 Hang in…

  6. MissMarie says:

    Glad it works for you, Danny. I got Ativan to sleep and it doesn’t do diddly. Which is kind of funny, actually, as I got a ten minute lecture from the doctor not to abuse it because it’s so addictive. Either it’s not or I’m weird, because I could pitch what’s left and not care. Don’t think I want to try Klonopin though!

  7. Craig says:

    LOL, memories Ay. One of my mates had a “Rubber Cock” too, he use to wear it on his shoulder, pretending it was a parrot and he a pirate, as we were walking onto a ship, at the time. That’s us Aussie AJ’s(Army Jerks). 😀 I’ve been out for a while though.

  8. […] From 504 – ITLR: Alpha + Humor=Pussy, Chicken Fricassee, The Klonapin Chronicles, Part Of A Woman’s Body. . ., The Benefit Of Female Friends, The Gayest Post Evaaaar, I Have A […]


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