The Klonapin ChroniclesPosted: October 1, 2012
i need to apologize. you see, i’ve been prescribed klonapin in order to rectify my non-exsistent sleep cycle. klonapin is a POWERFUL sedative. and it just so happens i’m sensitive to benzo’s, and i’m supposed to take it QHS (at hour of sleep). problem is, i’m in a fog until noon if i take it that late. i’ve since started taking it round 4pm. by 8pm i’m riding the wave of “yeeeeeeeeah maaaaaan”. so if you and i had a conversation over the last few days after 9pm, i don’t really recall it or the subject matter. when i get to work in the morning, my coworkers all laugh because it’s VERY apparent i’m medicated. i HATE narcotics, i refuse to take them. but this shit is fucking dope (see what i did there?). so i decided to write my posts at work when my head is clear.
back when i was in Kuwait one of room-mates had problems sleeping. he was given ambien. well me and the other roomie were gym rats and ingesting TONS of protien powder and various supplements. well the protien gives you HORRID and frequent gas. i felt bad for the other roomie because not only was he having trouble sleeping, he was being blown up by two ass cannons.
then he started taking ambien. i took ambien once. shit rocks. well, one night he was out on the smoke deck. and in his fog, he wrote a series of thoughts on a piece of paper. he had ZERO recollection of it the next day, but he handed me the paper giggling. he titled it “the ambien files”. and it was a fucking GEM. it a series of various thoughts and i wish i could recall the entire thing. but some were-
- right now, my truck, a smoke, some poon, and whiskey would be the best thing ever.
- why does kamryn’s tit’s have to be so fucking perfect.
- i wonder who that slut crazy bitch is fucking at camp virginia. (crazy bitch was a girl he banged during training that was sent to another camp. i routinely acted the part of preist in their fake marriage. “do you asshole, to this crazy bith to be your lawfully wedded husband? them imitate pulling on a cig, exhaling and saying, “fuck yeah.” “and do you crazy-bitch take this asshole as your lawful wedded husband?” then ape her reply, “WHATEVER, i don’t caaare”. both crazy bitch-rachel and asshole-chris thought it was the funniest shit ever. both are VERY country btw.
- kamryn’s got an iud, i think i’m gonna drop a load inside of her. mmmmmmmm. poon. (kamyn was our clinic slut, she tried to fuck me, i shot her down)
- it’s 11pm and i bet my room smells like a toilet. (yeah protein powder).
i was SHAKING in laughter as i read it.
then it hit me. i had a stroke of what could be sheer genius or absolute stupidity. i’ve decided i NEED to post while in the midst of my klonapin high. there will be no wisdom shared in the posts, just the rambling of a medicated sailor with PTSD who’s “give a fuck meter” is non-existant. stand by. it’s either gonna be absolute hilarity or total idiocy. but it’s for entertainment purposes only. thats the beauty of me. i can either provide pearls of wisdom or examples of how NOT to do shit. lol. this should be interesting. you think i post typos now- just WAIT for benzo laden posts of absolute worthless dreck pouring from my drugged mind into a post.