I Have a Tiny Penis.Posted: October 4, 2012
So, I was reading an article that claims American men have smaller than average penis’. As I read, I felt my heart sink, my hopes diminish, and my dreams of being able to please a woman fade like a dying ember.
Here’s the rundown, by country-
“Here’s part of the list, just for reference:
Republic of Congo, 7.1
South Africa, 6
New Zealand, 5.5
South Korea, 3.8
North Korea, 3.8”
So, apparently my 5.1 inches of dangling fury is laughable to American women. Not to brag, but I’m 5” flacid, I’m a grower and at blue vein throbber, I’m actually 9.5”. Yeah. It actually shakes a Chihuahua with Parkinson’s when I’m ready to gun a lady down. Seriously, one of my favorite games to play with women is, “Let’s count the veins on Danny’s mule.” It’s a rip roaring good time: 1,2,3,4, 30, 90, 100; WHO CAN KEEP UP? lulz. Men, I say we protest: since our donkey’s are too small, quit manscaping. That’s right. I have no bra to burn, but I DO have bush to grow. And my normally well shorn brown as a russet potato yam-bag will be rocking a 70’s afro. Grrrrr. But then I read something hurtful that the author added as a response to the list.
“Poor Americans. So many huge SUVs, so many little penises.
If heading to the Congo really isn’t your speed (edit- as well as getting raped, hacked up, or HIV), you might want to consider a trip to Italy. They came in 6th out of 113 nationalities with an average length of 6.2 inches. Pasta, pizza, gelato, aqueducts, wine, art, romance, history, bucolic landscapes, ancient cities, and enormous baloney ponies? Italy really is a dream land” (edit- I lived in Italy for 3 years, they think American women are sluts.)
Hmmmm. This got me and my pathetic member wondering- Do American men have smaller penis’, or have American women grown bigger, more difficult to fill vagina’s? I had a 42 yo woman ask me why a 38 year old man would be interested in a woman in her early 20’s. I told her, “Well, it’s because their pussies still have that “new car” smell. Oh the look she gave me. lol
Just food for thought. You do the dishes. Lol. Oh THIS is the author, Lindsay Mannering. She also writes for huff-po. Nuff’ said.