I Have a Tiny Penis.

So, I was reading an article that claims American men have smaller than average penis’. As I read, I felt my heart sink, my hopes diminish, and my dreams of being able to please a woman fade like a dying ember.

Here’s the rundown, by country-

“Here’s part of the list, just for reference:

Republic of Congo, 7.1

Ecuador, 7

Ghana, 6.8

Colombia, 6.7

Iceland, 6.5

Italy, 6.2

South Africa, 6

Sweden, 5.9

Greece, 5.8

Germany, 5.7

New Zealand, 5.5

UK, 5.5

Canada, 5.5

Spain, 5.5

France, 5.3

Australia, 5.2

Russia, 5.2

USA, 5.1

Ireland, 5

Romania, 5

China, 4.3

India, 4

Thailand, 4

South Korea, 3.8

North Korea, 3.8”

So, apparently my 5.1 inches of dangling fury is laughable to American women. Not to brag, but I’m 5” flacid, I’m a grower and at blue vein throbber, I’m actually 9.5”. Yeah. It actually shakes a Chihuahua with Parkinson’s when I’m ready to gun a lady down. Seriously, one of my favorite games to play with women is, “Let’s count the veins on Danny’s mule.” It’s a rip roaring good time: 1,2,3,4, 30, 90, 100; WHO CAN KEEP UP? lulz. Men, I say we protest: since our donkey’s are too small, quit manscaping. That’s right. I have no bra to burn, but I DO have bush to grow. And my normally well shorn brown as a russet potato yam-bag will be rocking a 70’s afro. Grrrrr. But then I read something hurtful that the author added as a response to the list.

 “Poor Americans. So many huge SUVs, so many little penises.

If heading to the Congo really isn’t your speed (edit- as well as getting raped, hacked up, or HIV), you might want to consider a trip to Italy. They came in 6th out of 113 nationalities with an average length of 6.2 inches. Pasta, pizza, gelato, aqueducts, wine, art, romance, history, bucolic landscapes, ancient cities, and enormous baloney ponies? Italy really is a dream land” (edit- I lived in Italy for 3 years, they think American women are sluts.)

Hmmmm. This got me and my pathetic member wondering- Do American men have smaller penis’, or have American women grown bigger, more difficult to fill vagina’s? I had a 42 yo woman ask me why a 38 year old man would be interested in a woman in her early 20’s. I told her, “Well, it’s because their pussies still have that “new car” smell. Oh the look she gave me. lol


Just food for thought. You do the dishes. Lol. Oh THIS is the author, Lindsay Mannering. She also writes for huff-po. Nuff’ said.


i wouldn’t fuck her with Mentu’s dick and Bronan pushing


Stay up.


32 Comments on “I Have a Tiny Penis.”

  1. Solo says:

    If it’s 1:55 Danny you telling me you wouldn’t smash when your drunk?

    just being honest bub

  2. lol @ new care smell.

  3. M3 says:

    What the f*ck is wrong with Lindseys shoulders? Are those tumors or birth defects? 2/10 – would not bang, even with Marcottes Dick. She’s as sexy as syphilis.

  4. Vicomte says:

    Klonopin Chronicles: Volume One.


    Danny types a hell of a lot better when drugged. Unexpected. Further analysis required.

  5. Ha! This “study” reeks o’ bullshit. I had to read a bunch of dick size stats for this post:


    I seem to remember the average American dude’s dick was more like 6 inches. Then again, Americans just keep getting fatter and fatter (which shrinks the dong quicker than an Icelandic swimming pool), so maybe the US of D isn’t that robust after all.

    Wonder how much “personal research” went into her article?

  6. FFY says:

    I’m above average, heyyooo

  7. First of all, every American man knows it only takes 3.5 inches to keep a woman happy, and it doesn’t matter if it’s Visa or MasterCard.

    Secondly, I’d smash Lindsay. She’s not hot, but she’s definitely cute enough to bang. I’d feed her hamster, agree with her on grrrrrl power, and work her in on nights when nothing else is going on.

    Last, who gives a shit about penis size? I have no idea why men worry about that so much. By the time she sees it, you’re getting laid anyway, so who gives a rats ass if she thinks its big enough or not?

    I heart my penis. Lulz.

  8. MissMarie says:

    I would not say that study is accurate.

    And her shoulders are actually those poofy cap sleeves on the dress.

    I think that’s all I’m qualified to add

  9. Matt says:

    It doesn’t matter what size my dick is, American women loathe the very thought of me having sex with anyone. I’ll be glad when I can manage to leave this gods forsaken country.

  10. driversuz says:

    You’d think at her age she’d know how to pick a flattering dress.

  11. dumasworld says:

    Rollo says ‘Size Matters’ http://rationalmale.wordpress.com/2012/09/17/size-matters/

    I think Congo guys have big dicks because congo women have fat asses so theres more cushion to get through before the cock takes the plunge.

  12. ASF says:

    That girls is totally bangable. Don’t be frontin now. Sure she’s wearing a black potato sack for a dress, but my x-ray vision has determined her to be bone worthy.

  13. Senior Beta says:

    HM1, between new car smell and the comment at Bronan’s about flour on pussy I have had enough laughs for a week. Just don’ t have any recipes with lots of flour soon.

  14. […] Chronicles, Part Of A Woman’s Body. . ., The Benefit Of Female Friends, The Gayest Post Evaaaar, I Have A Tiny Penis, Military Game, Sexy […]

  15. Georgia Boy says:

    Manjaw. Why am I not surprised?

  16. Phoenix says:

    If anyone has insecurity on their penis size, they could try techniques to increase blood flow down there and gain some length and girth.
    But honestly, I got way more shit to do than to worry about my penis.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s