The Klonapin Kroniclez: They Have Pissed off the DannyPosted: October 7, 2012
today i wrote a list of the things that pissed me off today and decided to use it as material for my first entry in this series. in an attempt to be relevent and original i decided to pose the juxtaposition of being mellower than a cheeba monkey after 3 blunts against things that angered me. my rage at these individuals burns with the intensity to fuel 5 suns.
as the owner and host of this site, i am judge jury and executioner.
to the 24 year old douche bag that went to the ER for ankle pain- eat glass. for your transgressions you will be hobbled by my dear Stormy so you can actually experience REAL ankle pain. fucking pussy.
to the woman who blocked a lane of a busy 2 lane road to give a guy a jump instead of pulling up behind him- i hope you have a stroke 5 seconds before your baby girl says, “i do.”
to the asshole in the suburban who parked at the door of my local supermarket so his fatty ho-chunk wife didn’t have to be burdened by actually walking 40 feet- i will shove a carrot peeler up your ass and turn it until your bung is the diameter of bottle cap.
to the woman at my supermarket the didn’t ;et mego ahead of her (i had 3 items) so she could umload over 50 items, THEN pull out a wad of coupons- i hope your grandmother gets t-boned by a drunk driver on christmas eve. and every year after thet, everyone gather round your tree, and is just SAD and weepy. merry fucking christmas you coupon clipping mother fucker. this one pissed me off because myneighborhood is filled with people that have money. you need to save $30, huh.
i now have another GREAT reason for not having kids: i’ll NEVER have to sit infront of a supermarket exit and have my fucking kid pander cookies or fucking raffle tickets. i swear to God, evertimr one of the little bastards approach me, i wanna ask thew parent’s behind the table, “who’s child is this?” and the adult that answers will find my planting my forehead right in their stupid nose.
i feel like i’m the emperor od rome doling out these idiots punishments. “bring me the fat one, SIEZE HER, she shall pay for her crimes.” i think i’m going to watch some Gaspar Noe.