ITLR- Smoke and Drink Up

Since I’m home for one more day, I decided to publish this one. Wrote it a few days ago. Enjoy.
I’m a beer guy. Love muh beer. The only hard alcohol in my house is Scotch. Not just any Scotch, but a DAMN FINE bottle of Scotch at that. Scotch is one of those things I will splurge on. I can’t recall the brand i’m drinking at the moment, but i’ll usually drop $60-80 on a bottle. And YES, it’s worth every damn penny. A bottle will typially last me 6-8 months. I’ll sip a small glass with one cube of ice.
A glass of scotch means one more thing. Cigar time. OOOOOH YEAH!!!!!! I got back into cigars while I was living in Spain, then I became the command’s “go to” guy when it came to cigars. I debunked a MAJOR myth while out there for many guys. Cuban cigars are shit. See, in Europe you can get Cubans for $5 Euro. That’s about $7-8. Every guy that I know that tried them said, “Meh.” Now I don’t have a particular brand, but I do prefer the flavor of the darker cigars. When I can find them, I’ll get a few Macanudo Maduro Diplomat’s. They’re a short, mellow, cigar. I like the short cigars because I don’t want to smoke for 45 minutes. Now you don’t inhale them unless your balls and lungs are made brass. you roll the smoke in your mouth, savor it, the blow it out. Now, I’ve upped the “man” factor of my house with an item that ALWAYS get’s women’s attention.
I have a humidor. Now I have the humidor for ME, but girls ALWAYS seem to comment on it. I usually have 4-5 sticks in it. One cigar bar by my house sells this AMAZING stick dubbed “The Big Bastard” thats hand-rolled in Miami. I smoke one over a Fri and Sat night.
A description of the Diplomat-
“Macanudo Maduro Diplomat Maduro are not your typical maduro cigars; they’re much more than that. Only Macanudo could make a maduro cigar that’s mellow, yet still achieve a rich maduro flavor. Blended with the finest double-fermented, Dominican Cuban seed tobaccos, surrounded by a velvety, ebony-colored Connecticut broadleaf, they offer a medium-bodied yet exceptionally smooth smoke. You may never go back to a natural wrapper again!”
If you decide to venture into the world of cigars, I have a few suggestions.
  1. Get a punch. It punches a small hole in the end of the cigar. Some guys prefer a cutter, I don’t.
  2. LIGHT THE GOD DAMN THING PROPERLY. I only light cigars with a match. But as a general rule of thumb, NEVER let the fire touch the tabacco. As you light it, roll it around slowly while taking quick puffs until the entire end it glowing. This takes practice. You can always tell a noob, by the uneven ash.
  3. NEVER flick the ash. Let it fall off. Another rookie mistake. Don’t tap the cigar on the ashtray.
  4. Unless you plan on smoking often, you don’t really need a humidor. But you can get a small cigar box for relatively cheap. My humidor cost me $75. If anything, you can store them in a large ziplock back with a humidifier that costs $3-4. Replace the humidifier bag every 6 months. The cigar should be moist and give when you squeeze it. If you squeeze it and you hear a slightly crack it means it’s dried out. That makes it smoke flavor stale.

Again, a cigar and a glass of scotch is a guilty pleasure. I highly advise guys to partake in this masculine ritual. And YES, I do smoke in the house. To me, the smell of cigar smoke is VERY pleasing.

I”m well aware of reputation as a foul mouth hooligan Sailor. I won’t aregue that. But there’s something special about wearing my monocle, sipping a good scotch with my pinky firmly extened, and smoking a good cigar. Again, I enjoy these things, I do them for ME. But I’ll be gosh darned if women that come over ALWAYS ask about the humidor and the Scotch. The scotch sits on a wine table. They walk over, read it, and ask what it’s like. I pour them a small glass, ice it and instruct them how to drink it.
“OH, that’s strong!!!!! WOW.” When I ask them how it tastes, they typically describe it as “mellow, smoky, strong.”
When it comes to wine, I totally BS women with my understanding of wine. lol. I have a good friend that’s a wine guy. He gave me this tip for describing reds.
“It’s like taking a slow walk through a damp garden at night.”
I have no fucking clue how that applies to wine, but he swears that’s a great non-specific answer for reds. I don’t drink wine btw, I cook with it. But I do always have a few bottles of wine in the wine Cabinet. It’s more for grabbing a bottle as a gift when I go to a friends for dinner. See, down south….if you go to someone’s house for anything, it’s polite to bring a gift. You can never go wrong with wine.
Stay up.

it’s SOOOO smooth. have had this bottle since late 2011.

the big bastard. hand rolled in Miami. GREAT smoke.

the diplomat. not too expensive, smooth smoke, great flavor. my go to cigar.

37 Comments on “ITLR- Smoke and Drink Up”

  1. Ulysses says:

    I can’t remember the name, but there’s a shop on Rue Bourbon in which they hand roll cigars and they are great.

    I’m also expecting an epic post, with pictures, on Central Grocery muffalettas and their exquisite awesomeness.

    Dalwhinnie is a fine single malt.

  2. Vicomte says:

    I smoked a cigar in the house once.

    Place reeked like smoke for two solid months.

    I used to have the occasional cigar, but I realized I don’t like smoking for that long. Cooks my mouth and tastes like shit for two days. I’ll stick to cigarettes.

    If you ever want to try something different, dry snuff tobacco is interesting. Makes you feel like it’s 1890 and you’re wearing a top hat.

  3. Random Angeleno says:

    Ice in your scotch? You, sir, are a ****ing barbarian. That’s a damn fine scotch there that you’re just ruining with ice. Add a little room temp water if you must, but that’s it.

    I learned the pleasures of scotch the year I worked in London. Someone I knew there was a member of the Scotch Malt Whisky Society so I went to the local tasting room as his guest and yes they’ll throw you right out if you ask for ice in your glass. I get the reasoning though, the ice chills the taste beyond recognition. The Society specializes in bottles from the microdistilleries that dot Scotland like we have microbreweries for beer in the US. I understand they now have chapters in the US and other countries but have not checked out any of that stuff. In any case, I used to buy bottles I liked on a routine basis and brought a couple back to the US when my TDY was done. Prices? Typically anywhere from £30 to £75 for a bottle. About $45 to $120 in today’s exchange rate, but have no idea if that’s still current or not.

    I’m partial to Macallans and Black Bush, but it’s good to try out different bottles to find your personal taste. If you’re ever in Scotland, try touring the Glenfiddich Distillery and the Speyside Cooperage. They’re not far from each other, iirc.

  4. Matt says:

    That’s a good scotch. Have you tried any single malt Irish whiskeys? I have found that the quality for the price is a bit better. I’ve had $40 bottles of Irish that were easily as good as $60+ bottles of Scotch.

  5. MadMav says:

    Back in the day I could put away a 12-18 pack of sreeb every night. Then (of all people) a jarhead hooked me up with a handle of vodka. Beer days over and clear sailing with the Stoli, Svedka or G Goose. Saved me a ton of $ and helped me lose 40#. Such is life….

  6. Spacetraveller says:

    Sorry to enter your male locker room, Danny,

    But is that OUR LADY on the bottle on the left?



  7. Keoni Galt says:

    I love Dalwhinnie so much, I actually went there to visit the town (more like a village) and distillery back in ’07.

    It’s the highest distillery in the Highlands, and they make one of the best Whisky’s in the world.

    Great tastes my man!

    As for the smokes….for the guys who don’t wanna buy an expensive humidor, most cigar shops sell cigar boxes for a couple of bucks, and this new product called DryMistat.

    It’s a tube that perfectly humidifies a humidor and it’s usually under $10. So worth it…if you’ve ever smoked dried out cigars, you’ll know what I mean.

  8. Keoni Galt says:

    “it’s SOOOO smooth. have had this bottle since late 2011.”

    Damn son, you sure nurse your Scotch.

    I’ve gone through probably 4 bottles of Dalwhinnie since 2011…and that’s just the Dalwhinnie. lol

    Ever try Talisker, Ardbeg or Laphroiag?

    U – I’ve always wanted to try that Carribean Cask Balvenie…never seen it anywhere for sale here in Hawaii. Can you taste the Rum?

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      OOOOH, had i known you were gonna show up, i’d have tidied up the place.

      mahalo brudduh.

      and i do believe i said i’m primarily a beer guy. i LOVE scotch, i do. but it’s something i partake in once in a while.

      i actually went to Scotland back in 1998. best trip ever. went to the highland games, had haggis with tatties and neeps. had a GREAT aberdeen steak with hunter sauce. a guy i met on a literary pub crawl took me back to Uni of Edinburgh and i cleaned house closing scottish girl. “I LOVE YOUR ACCENT!!!!” it was too easy. lol.

      and i was introduced to the brilliance of Rab C. Nesbitt.

      just google him, you can watch full episodes on youtube.

  9. […] suggests having a drink and smoke. The explicit advice he writes about is good on its own, but I interpret it as advice to do […]

  10. I prefer a pipe to a cigar, a nice black cavendish, but cheers to the scotch. A friend of mine got me started on the stuff a few years ago.

  11. […] Danny From 504 – The Klonapin Kroniclez, New Orleans Boys, Parenthood And Broken Homes, ITLR – Let Danny Do The Heavy Lifting, ITLR – The Chosen Few, ITLR: Smoke And Drink Up […]

  12. Dirt Man says:

    I’m on board with all of that man. Laphroaig is my fav scotch though I do fine with Johnny. Ever smoked Onyx? I like those pretty well. I also enjoy a good pipe of tobacco now and again especially in fall.

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      never had a pipe, but i’m considering it. i hear they make for a good smoke. the scent is phenomenal as well.

      • Dirt Man says:

        It’s true and ass an added bonus I’ve had a number of girls comment on how good the pipe smoke smells. I think it makes them feel comfortable and safe or something. Good conversation starter if nothing else.

      • Dirt Man says:

        Should have been ‘as an’ not ‘ass an’. Fingers aren’t cooperatin

  13. rgoltn says:

    That is how I spent Friday night with some buddies…..A little Buffalo Trace ( and some CAO cigars (…A good night had by all!

  14. […] from 504: ITLR- Smoke and Drink Up; ITLR: Yup, Pretty Much; It’s Not About Me; Karaoke Game; What Would Tyler Durden Do?; Pork 3 […]

  15. Paul Murray says:

    I’ve taken up the pipe, myself. Haven’t managed to source any really good tobacco, so not really a connoisseur. I like an irish whiskey, but nothing too peaty.

  16. Guys, about pipe tobacco: you can start with aromatics if you like the “room note” (something like Plantah Black Vanilla will get women’s compliments). The darker latakia blends that are not that “social” but the smell is more manly (also they take time to get used to).

    I’m new to the pipe world but if I can be of any help just ask.

    Good smokes.

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