ITLR- Smoke and Drink UpPosted: October 13, 2012 | |
Since I’m home for one more day, I decided to publish this one. Wrote it a few days ago. Enjoy.
I’m a beer guy. Love muh beer. The only hard alcohol in my house is Scotch. Not just any Scotch, but a DAMN FINE bottle of Scotch at that. Scotch is one of those things I will splurge on. I can’t recall the brand i’m drinking at the moment, but i’ll usually drop $60-80 on a bottle. And YES, it’s worth every damn penny. A bottle will typially last me 6-8 months. I’ll sip a small glass with one cube of ice.
A glass of scotch means one more thing. Cigar time. OOOOOH YEAH!!!!!! I got back into cigars while I was living in Spain, then I became the command’s “go to” guy when it came to cigars. I debunked a MAJOR myth while out there for many guys. Cuban cigars are shit. See, in Europe you can get Cubans for $5 Euro. That’s about $7-8. Every guy that I know that tried them said, “Meh.” Now I don’t have a particular brand, but I do prefer the flavor of the darker cigars. When I can find them, I’ll get a few Macanudo Maduro Diplomat’s. They’re a short, mellow, cigar. I like the short cigars because I don’t want to smoke for 45 minutes. Now you don’t inhale them unless your balls and lungs are made brass. you roll the smoke in your mouth, savor it, the blow it out. Now, I’ve upped the “man” factor of my house with an item that ALWAYS get’s women’s attention.
I have a humidor. Now I have the humidor for ME, but girls ALWAYS seem to comment on it. I usually have 4-5 sticks in it. One cigar bar by my house sells this AMAZING stick dubbed “The Big Bastard” thats hand-rolled in Miami. I smoke one over a Fri and Sat night.
A description of the Diplomat-
“Macanudo Maduro Diplomat Maduro are not your typical maduro cigars; they’re much more than that. Only Macanudo could make a maduro cigar that’s mellow, yet still achieve a rich maduro flavor. Blended with the finest double-fermented, Dominican Cuban seed tobaccos, surrounded by a velvety, ebony-colored Connecticut broadleaf, they offer a medium-bodied yet exceptionally smooth smoke. You may never go back to a natural wrapper again!”
If you decide to venture into the world of cigars, I have a few suggestions.
- Get a punch. It punches a small hole in the end of the cigar. Some guys prefer a cutter, I don’t.
- LIGHT THE GOD DAMN THING PROPERLY. I only light cigars with a match. But as a general rule of thumb, NEVER let the fire touch the tabacco. As you light it, roll it around slowly while taking quick puffs until the entire end it glowing. This takes practice. You can always tell a noob, by the uneven ash.
- NEVER flick the ash. Let it fall off. Another rookie mistake. Don’t tap the cigar on the ashtray.
- Unless you plan on smoking often, you don’t really need a humidor. But you can get a small cigar box for relatively cheap. My humidor cost me $75. If anything, you can store them in a large ziplock back with a humidifier that costs $3-4. Replace the humidifier bag every 6 months. The cigar should be moist and give when you squeeze it. If you squeeze it and you hear a slightly crack it means it’s dried out. That makes it smoke flavor stale.
Again, a cigar and a glass of scotch is a guilty pleasure. I highly advise guys to partake in this masculine ritual. And YES, I do smoke in the house. To me, the smell of cigar smoke is VERY pleasing.
I”m well aware of reputation as a foul mouth hooligan Sailor. I won’t aregue that. But there’s something special about wearing my monocle, sipping a good scotch with my pinky firmly extened, and smoking a good cigar. Again, I enjoy these things, I do them for ME. But I’ll be gosh darned if women that come over ALWAYS ask about the humidor and the Scotch. The scotch sits on a wine table. They walk over, read it, and ask what it’s like. I pour them a small glass, ice it and instruct them how to drink it.
“OH, that’s strong!!!!! WOW.” When I ask them how it tastes, they typically describe it as “mellow, smoky, strong.”
When it comes to wine, I totally BS women with my understanding of wine. lol. I have a good friend that’s a wine guy. He gave me this tip for describing reds.
“It’s like taking a slow walk through a damp garden at night.”
I have no fucking clue how that applies to wine, but he swears that’s a great non-specific answer for reds. I don’t drink wine btw, I cook with it. But I do always have a few bottles of wine in the wine Cabinet. It’s more for grabbing a bottle as a gift when I go to a friends for dinner. See, down south….if you go to someone’s house for anything, it’s polite to bring a gift. You can never go wrong with wine.