ITLR- Running a Soft HaremPosted: October 14, 2012
Athol had an interesting post where he pontificates his options if he lost Jen. he mentioned a soft harem. THIS is something i am well qualified to speak of.
i ran a soft harem for about 2 years when i came back from Spain. five girls. 4 were single mom’s, and one had no children. and they ALL knew i had other women. but they were smart enough not to ask, and i was smart enough to never rub their noses in it. running a SH requires a bit of aloofness and a TON of charm. women are VERY competitive and jealous. most of the shit tests i get about “other women” come in the form of me leaving and her asking, “so…which one of your other girls are you going to see now?”
aw. how cute.
i usually go with one of two replies. the first being, “you know, i’m kinda worn out. you did a number on me. i think i need to recoup for a few days.”
the second being, “you know. i haven’t checked my schedule. i need to eat first and refuel.”
agree and amplify works well, as does negs, and teasing. the important thing is you DO NOT directly mention the girls. allude to them jokingly, but NEVER confirm. when in her company, she is the center of the universe. this is NOT about supplication, but about keeping her focused on you. not wondering about your side pieces.
it’s very difficult for some guys to run a SH. most guys get too many feelings and drift into “relationship” mode.
any women in the stable need to be kept at arms length emotionally. i care about them, i do. but the dynamic we share is tangential. i fully admit, if it weren’t for the fact that i live in Jax and the SH was in NO, the girls would press me for a relationship. this is simply in their nature. most girls, even single mom’s do NOT want to be a side piece booty-call. some will accept it as “good enough”. they are getting some male attention and affection…..so they “allow” the harem status (though i ‘d NEVER refer to having a SH). if you EVER mention having a SH to one of the girls in the stable…..yer fucked. she’ll feel objectified and used (most of the time, some don’t care), so always err on the side of being cautious and secretive.
running a SH is a GREAT thing for a man. he gets it all: sex, female company/affection, and pride that people can smell a mile away. which in turn, attracts other women. i KNOW i’m not getting married anytime soon, even still……i retired my stable a while ago. i still talk with all of them, but the sex just doesn’t go down. and yes, they ALL knew i had multiple women.
if you can pull it off, i highly recommend a SH. how do you do it? quite simply.
- BE.HONEST. let her know up front that you ARE NOT looking for a relationship, but enjoy her company. if she declines on the sex, just keep working game. if that fails…..bail. she gets no more of your time.
- never directly mention having a SH. EVER. if she asks about you having other women just use the responses i posted above or agree and amplify with, “damn, i dunno, i probably fuck about 5000 other women.” and roll your eyes.
- when with her, make it all about her. DO NOT make it just about sex. you have to create the illusion of a relationship. have lunch, have coffee. if you aren’t just fucking her she can’t use it against you. so make sure you spend time with her outside the bedroom. just not, like…a LOT of time. lol.
- realize, at ANY point, she can end the entire dynamic. DO NOT guilt trip her or shame her for ending it. be polite and tell her you’re sorry it has to be that way, but you understand. if she finds a BF, congratulate her and wish her and the new endeavor well. trust me, if it hit’s the skids, she’ll be back. lol. TRUST ME.
i wouldn’t recommend a SH unless you have ninja like game. it’s very difficult for most guys to pull off. especially younger guys. but if you’re going to give it a try, i’ve laid out the ground work. best of luck and happy hunting.