Karaoke Game

I fucking HATE karaoke. Fah serious. I’d rather have a car door slammed on my fucking ball bag than karaoke.

BUT, I do have a few suggestions if you get suckered into a night of drunken bad singing in public, make the most of it and do what I do.

Scope the Venue
Look around and see if there are any note worthy girls there. If there are….

Song Selection
I have ONE go to song, but it may be hard find unless the place specializes in karaoke.

“No one like you- The Scorpions”

This song OWNS. Find the set, but sing the song to a more unattractive girl. Even better, and woman MUCH older than you. And when you perform, you HAVE to mug and act like a cheap 80’s rock star. I’m talking air guitar solo, pelvic thrusts, the whole nine. Own the song. If you can’t find said song I also recommend-

“Patience- G-n-R”
“Rainbow in the Dark- Dio”

TBH, any song you’re comfortable with is cool, THEATRICS is what’s key. Remember most people have a fear of public speaking. So when you get up, sing, and put on a show……

How you sing is irrelevant. Matter of fact, singing poorly but putting on a great show is key. Say….

You do Sinatra; act like a boozy, laid back mafioso. Elvis, BE Elvis. Rock song, be a rock God. I’m sure you get it.

But making wye contact, smiling and singing to a DIFFERNT girl WILL get the attention of the girl you’re trying to close. But more than anything…..

Have as good a time as you can at a shitty karaoke bar.


14 Comments on “Karaoke Game”

  1. zack says:

    Dude, I’m a white dude who can dance, played D1 football, and can take over a room with a microphone. Good friend at home managed a karaoke bar for years in a casino and while my friends pregamed/drank for free on his tab, I’d rip through about 5 or 6 songs. I can flow too, Eminem, Jay Z, Marvin Gaye, etc. Didn’t matter. I have charisma. I can’t tell you how many girls I’ve met, how many bachellorette parties I infiltrated, and how much fun I had helping people who picked a song that was not for them. If you have the right set of skills, karaoke can work for you. I’m proof of that.

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      It’s all about showmanship.

    • Jerry says:

      Yep, karaoke is my go-to. You sit up at the bar, your first name is called, you walk through the whole crowd, you kill it with two or three songs, and it’s high-fives and compliments all the way back to your resumption of befriending the bartender. By your second or third trip up the DJ is announcing you like a special event and heating up the mike till it sparks. If people are dancing he’ll keep you up there.

      If cuties and/or servers want to do duets, you also get twice the microphone time as anyone else. If I ever get out of the hinterlands I’ll prolly go out 3-4 nights a week instead of 1.

  2. zack says:

    Also, the key to karaoke is picking a song that will get the crowd going and one that you KNOW. Not to mention, avoid picking songs that everyone sings or what’s popular right at the moment, UNLESS you kill it. I’ve set the room on fire with Dr. Dre’s Forgot About Dre, Juvenile’s Back That Ass Up, and Busta Rhymes Break Ya Neck.

    It also doesn’t hurt to pick songs that the ladies love.

  3. Vicomte says:

    If I ever, through an unfortunate series of circumstances, found myself singing karaoke, I would sing ‘Don’t Be Mean’, by the Raincoats, complete with accent.

    Or I’d find a cute girl to duet ‘Don’t Shoot Me Santa Claus’ if it was near Christmas.

  4. MissMarie says:

    Ohhhh karaoke…

  5. ve says:

    Misogynist (but popular) rap songs like “get low” delivered with confidence drive the young ladies wild. Some other winners — both the male (in your deepest baritone) and female (in terrible falsetto) verses of “you don’t bring me flowers” or “leather and lace;” “rainbow connection” in a Kermit the frog voice; and duet of “barbie girl” with a hot friend.

  6. rgoltn says:

    My go to song….Van Halen “Beautiful Girls.”

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  9. Georgia Boy says:

    Karaoke is best for one kind of guy, a guy who genuinely has a good singing voice. If you have the pipes to do a love song well, they melt in your mouth. But it’s one of those things that’s begotten and not made, unfortunately.


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