Brody has Mad Game

i was driving home and stopped just outside of tallahassee. i needed gas and i stop about every two hours to let brody stretch and pee. when he’s not on leash, he’s got certain commands to keep him at my side. well, 2 girls in typical florida girl uniform (short as all fuck jean cut-off shorts, and a skimpy titty mashing tops) saw me and brody and ran over to play with him.

“STOP!!!” i told them. they looked stunned and i put brody in the sit position and told the girls, “you need to greet me, before you start playing with him. it’s  dog social structure thing. and you should NEVER rush a dog you don’t know.” while this is in fact true, i was also setting the stage that I was in charge. step one complete. the girls came up to me, shook my hand, and introduced themselves: kaitlyn and rebecca. once introductions were made, i introduced them to brody. as they knelt down brody went ape shit wagging his tail and licking them. the girls coo’d and gushed over how adorable he is.
“is he trained?” i answered, “VERY.” then she asked, “does he do tricks?” i answered, “totally.” then i was asked, “what kind of tricks?” i pointed at my car and said, he insisted on driving until we hit tallahasse, but i told him if starts speeding i’m taking over.” the girls bursted into laughter. now it was time to make this interesting. i kneel down by brody and asked he what he wanted to say. “dude, seriously…you’re like a one trick pony, i’m not asking them that.” the girls, of course, HAD to know what brody wanted to ask. i replied that he’s a big perv and i didn’t want to offend the girl. *rollseyes* oh no no no, the hamster NEEDED to know. so i told them that brody wanted to know if they had boyfriends. one said yes and one said no. then i kneeled down and shook my head. “brody…seriously. quit.” of course they HAD to know. so i told them brody wants rebecca (the single one) to be his gf. rebecca giggled and said she’d totally be his gf. i kneeled down and acted surprised. “DUDE…seriously. NO. bag dog.” rebecca wanted to know what he said and i told her she’d get offended (bullshit….i knew EXACTLY what i was doing) so i acted kind of unwilling to answer and said, “he said, you better like doggy style.”
laughter erupted from the girl, the were giggling and clutching their chests. then i chimed in, “the thing is, brody won’t put out unless i get some. he feels sorry foe not being able to get any. anyplace close by that we can go and play?” it looked like she was honestly thinking and by the time she said, “weeeeell…” i cut her off. i told her we have at least 4 more hours on the road, and that i’d get her number for brody, but brody’s soooooo not down with long distance side pieces. again, LAUGHTER.
guys…it really is THAT EASY. actually the dog is a buffer and immediately shatters their bitch shield and allows you to get away with a LOT more than you might normally. these two KNEW i was using brody as a prop. they are total suckers for role play shit, they eat it up. and man with game can get far. and man with game and trained dog, get’s mad pussy.
i had ZERO intention of fucking either of the girls. i just decided to have a bit of fun. and i can guarantee the girls totally enjoyed the interaction.
stay up.

20 Comments on “Brody has Mad Game”

  1. Vicomte says:

    This would have been an entertaining story, but once, during late-night travails on he internet, I came across a video of, let’s call it ‘doggy style’.

    No thank you, sir. Mine eyes cannot forget.

  2. Faust says:

    I laughed pretty damn hard at the doggy style joke. You’d have to have mad confidence to pull it off though.

  3. Faust is right. But then again why not just try it regardless of your experience. It’s not like they know you or even live anywhere close to where you’re going. Well it is a small world. but grow some balls and just go with your gut. I need to take my pups out with me more. The last few years they’ve been stay at home dogs. Gonna change that this week. good post. Def points for a creative conversation.

  4. Spacetraveller says:

    “Brody has mad game”.

    Yup. ST can concur…

    Brody for President!

  5. redpillwifey says:

    This made me giggle a lot. It even works long distance! 😀

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      I’m always amazed at what I can pull off that “Brody” is responsible for. You girls really are suckers for dogs.

      I would have NEVER come off like that on my own. He just makes it so much easier.

      Sent from my iPhone

  6. I need to try a variation of that with my dog, Lucy. She’s rather unusual looking and I routinely get the “What kind of dog is that?” when I’m out walking her.

    My response, after a pause and looking down at Lucy, I put the most disappointment in my voice that I can muster and say sadly “That’s an ugly dog.”

    The reactions are priceless. “How can you say that?! She’s beautiful!” The best one is “Don’t say that, she’ll hear you!” Apparently there are people in this world who think my dog speaks English.

  7. Phoenix says:

    Best wing story I’ve ever heard.

  8. Revo Luzione says:

    This is about 15 shades of awesome. Thanks for the laughs, and for a solid, solid idea that I hope to be able to utilize sometime.

  9. […] From 504 – TKK – Why I’m Special Ed. . ., Its Not About Me, Brody Has Mad Game, My Bankee, ITLR – Pink Month, I’m In A Bad Mood, Female Partner […]

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