Fitness Tests and Halloween LulzPosted: November 1, 2012
Today I had a HUGE fitness test handed to me. Well, not HUGE…I guess that’s a bit of an exaggeration. I actually get one twice a year. It’s all part of my Navy contract. My biannual Navy Fitness Test. It’s kind of a joke actually.
But I’m getting old. Look, I didn’t even prepare for this BS of a test and I still got an excellent. So, as far as the Navy is concerned, I’m in excellent physical shape. How did I do….
Male, 38 years OLD, 131lbs.
Sit/reach- pass. You have to reach out and touch your toes.
Sit-ups- 84 (excellent)
Push ups- 78 (max for my age)
1.5 mile run- 13:21 seconds
Not too shabby. But I can already tell I’m going to be SORE as hell tomorrow. Ah well, nothing a few beers can’t fix.
I want no applause, congrats, or hoop-lah.
IT’S MY FUCKING JOB!!!!!!
It’s always blows me away when Sailors want to gloat how well they did on their PFA (Physical Fitness Assessment). What’s even funnier is the fatties that STRUGGLE on their PFA. You have people PAID to be in shape, yet they still can’t even manage the MINIMAL standards. Pretty pathetic when my 38 year old ass can wipe the floor (PFA wise) over a 23 year old kid.
One thing I did notice though. My score (and weight) have remained basically the same for the last 15 years. I was in a car accident and from then on my run time dropped. USED to be able to do it in the 10 minute zone. Now I’m doing it late 12 early 13 minute zone. Not too shabby, right.
I know no one really gives a shit but I have ZERO material for any kind of post, so you get to read dreck like this. Looking forward to sitting at home….
FUCK. I just realized in need to clean my foyer. Yes, I have a foyer; I’m a fancy gent-ul-man. You see, last night I set the foyer up with red drop cloth, and tarp, opened the window and blasted haunted house sound effect. I placed the candy jar on a VERY old rocking chair my Grammy gave me, and the kids had to walk into the foyer to get candy. Well, they had to walk past ME, to get it. And I was dressed in a scary as fuck costume. The teenagers where the WORST. I didn’t fuck with the little ones though. The best was when I hid behind the drop cloth and I’d pop out and scare the fuck out of the kids. Lol. All in all it was a fun evening. I finished it off watching Charlie Brown’s Great Pumpkin Special. LOVE that shit.
here’s a change of gears as i had to go to the OR, but didn’t have scrubs, so i had to wear the dreaded “bunny suit”. there is NO WAY to look sauve or cool in it. i think my face says it all.
and as a palate cleanser, here’s your’s truly in full Service Dress. i still say i have the sex appeal of progeria syndrome.