New Years Eve PTSDPosted: January 5, 2013
So…..New Years Eve, I woke up in a great mood. I went to my local had a beer and said hi to a few friends and grabbed a bite to eat. Then I dropped about $150 on fireworks. Mostly- mortars. You drop them in the plastic tube, light the fuse, and stand back. They fire about 50 feet then burst into a huge blast of colors.
Now for my neighbors are fucking nuts. Seriously, The fact that they’re raising kids is fascinating. For new years we have a massive block-party. The adults get RIPPED!!!!The kids, well….interestingly enough there’s a ton of girls between the ages 8-13 and it’s their jobs to coral the kiddo’s and lord over them. So right after midnight we decided to set the fireworks off. Well all gathered in front of a guys house, I passed out the bottle rockets.
Guy rule- He who purchases the fireworks get to light them. Thusly, I was in control of the mortars.
Logical Guy Rule- the LEAST inebriated SHOULD be lighting the duty explosives.
The mortars ROCKED. And we were having a great time. Now, I had had about 4 beers and was the few NOT in the middle of a black out. We sat in the yard about 20 feet from the middle of the street where we firing the guy that lives across came running over to us and a few seconds later
There was an immediate slight secondary concussion blast that actually could be felt. Turns out, he lit one of the mortars outside of the tube. The kinetic energy the propels the mortar skyward was released into the open space. That was it. No turning back. Dr. Banner had left the building.
“WHAT THE FUCK MAN!!!!” There was complete silence. The guy didn’t realize the mortar was a mortar. And of course, he was drunk. We finished with the mortars, fortunately…..there were only about 3. Then we went inside. You see, once my PTSD gets triggered, I need to be alone to decompress. I stayed in the house for about 15 minutes, before I just HAD to leave. I walked home, and watched tv.
Around 2am I got a text from a girl I invited out. Her bestie was in town but passed out and she wanted to drop by. I ended up texted back that it just wasn’t a good time. She asked if I had a girl over. Lol. I told her my PTSD was acting up and I needed to be alone. My phone rang about 2-3 minutes later. “Danny, are you gonna be ok.”
Aaaaaw. How sweet.
I explained that I was going to be fine, it always passes. This is what I find adorable about civilian girls. Guys know about it, and just get kind of “well, damn, that sucks.” They understand male aggression and never question when I say I need to be alone. Girls on the other hand, get curious and empathetic. The nurture switch get’s flipped.
My FMF (Fleet Marine Force) guys that have been in the suck are pretty much the only ones that can relate. I was in the ER explaining to 2 FMF guys that have been in Afghanistan with Division what had happened and they wanted to know if I hit the guy. The funny thing is, whenever I talk with other PTSD guys and I explain the travel trailer on 10 acres in Texas with my buddy (an HMCS FMF guy) is parking a travel trailer about a mile or so from where I’ll be we’re sharing the property, and he’s been my boy since 1999. I told him about my plan and he immediately wanted in. He, like me, isn’t married or has kids. He’s an old Cajun boy. Lol. But all the FMF guys I know LOVE my idea for retirement.
So now you know why I didn’t post and had to leave a throwaway. But don’t worry.
All good now. Anyone seen my crayons?
As a palate cleanser i found a vidyah of Bronan and Nate’s grandmother.