Be aloof, make her laugh, be a pig, and make her tingle in less than 3 minutes

laughter is my go to pussy crack. look, women are VILE….WAY more vile than men can be. and most women LOOOOOVE light hearted sexual banter with men. it’s just that most men don’t know how to pull it off. well, i’m here to teach you a nice ‘lil joke that will make her laugh, tingle, and will make you stand out.

when a girl asks me, “so, what did you today.” or “what have you been up to lately.”

i answer, “well today, i jerked off to a chick in penthouse.” the girl will either-

react with disbelief, go along with it, or be slightly shocked. all reactions are irrelvant. regardless of her response, i follow, with-“yeah, girl behind me in line was PISSED.”

wokka wokka. i’ve NEVER had a girl not crack up. then i’ll say, “yeah, i saw her staring so i asked her to help a fellah out.”

also- In Mala Fide’ FINALLY finished his book. i’ve read most of it, and it’s gold. cop that shit.

22 Comments on “Be aloof, make her laugh, be a pig, and make her tingle in less than 3 minutes”

  1. Faust says:

    That’s hilarious. I would never have the guts to do it, but that is hilarious.

  2. deti says:


  3. I might be able to pull that off. However I do find it tricky working a club being 5’4″ I have to jump up to be noticed at the bar area. I wish I could see you in action.

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      haven’t you been paying attention in class?

      make eye contact, then stick your tongue out at her, then smile. if she laughs or sticks her tongue out back, walk up and ask her name. do i need to go further? i JUST posted club game. lol.

  4. Vicomte says:

    Try National Geographic next time.

  5. Nupnupnup says:

    How about this one:

    “Had a hard negotiation today”

    “What do you mean?”

    “Well, since my “assistant” is on vacation, I had to convince the IT guys to let me access redtube. I guy has needs, right.”

    Double DHV
    1) You got an assistant
    2) You bang her

  6. Andrew Medina says:

    This is solid. It sets up the aloof, funny pig frame from the get-go. In the event this becomes an LTR, it’ll be fun because that frame is a fun place to be.

    I have gotten away with saying some messed up stuff to the girls I date:

    *chick is ill*
    Me: *poke* “Hey, hey, stop dying”
    chick: “I’m trying”
    Me: “Try harder”
    chick: “I’m trying”
    Me: “I’m warning you, if you die, I’ll move on”
    This is the time I discovered that sick Puerto Rican girls can throw pillows with surprising velocity.

    I think our relationship would have counted as abusive if I wasn’t cackling like an idiot every time I set her off like that.

  7. Michael of Charlotte says:

    Awesome, totally trying it.

  8. Stingray says:

    That . Is. Hysterical!

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