ITLR- SOOOOO Money

The money shot, slinging yogurt, baby batter, giving’ her da goo. Patrice said the great thing about mans orgasms, is we have a receipt. I posted a comment about this and a few people expressed interest in getting their Peter North on.

One of the great things about being an HM is that you’re a jack of all trades in the medical field. I’m no Doctor, but if you got shot or injured, I could keep you alive for 4-5 days. I can perform MINOR surgical procedures, suture, and diagnose/treat basic ailments. Matter of fact, I know of more than one seasoned HM that have been invited into “prepper communities” to serve as the community medic. One guy I know is heading to one in Minnesota in a few months when he gets out. As for me, well, I’m a one man ER. I have ALL the supplies I need to take care of myself for about 1 year.

Well, there comes a time when a Sailor asks an HM for advice on an issue. One day on the ship, I got stopped in the p-way and asked-

“Doc, me and the wife are trying to have a kid. And she said I should look into me learning how to make more cum.”

I stared blankly in total disbelief. FUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!

I told him to give me a week so I could talk to an Urologist and a nutritionist at the hospital. I also needed to research on my own. Now I had to make runs to the Hospital from the ship 3 times a week. I walked up to Urology and spoke to a Dr. for about 20-30 minutes. No appointment, NOTHIN’. Went to the Nutritionist (that rode on the ship for a 3 month deployment) and got some tips. At home, I typed 3 words into google- “increasing semen volume.” If you do, let me offer you some advice.

BE ALONE. Or if YOU MUST have others around, don’t leave the computer open to get a glass of water only to find your GF googly eyed staring at google IMAGES of increased semen volume. As I walked up to my computer, the monitor was a wall of cocks covered in semen. I told the GF to leave my sofa and went back to “search” mode. Here’s what I told him.

-Quit smoking and drinking. Smoking constricts the blood vessels, and a diet of unprocessed foods gives you minerals and nutrients you need.

-Diet- I recommend tuna, red meat, and salads. Most of the paleo stuff is best.

-Water, water, water. Skip the sodas.

-Exercise with weights. Focus on squats and bench presses. NOT the Smith machine. Do free weight squats on the rack. You only need 30-45 minute routines. This raises testosterone levels. Finish routine with a protein shake.

-DO NOT MASTURBATE. You want to build up your supply and testosterone is released when you fire off a round. You store more after 2-3 days then having frequent sex. But after 3 days, you’ve produced about as much as you’re going to.

-Supplement. I use a multivitamin. Especially zinc, amino acids, L-Arginine HCL, L-Lysine, L-Carnitine, and Tribulus. Animal pack offers a GREAT product that I took for about 2-3 years. You get tons of energy and I NEVER got sick. However, there are about 11 pills to a pack and 3 are BEASTS. But they’re great.  Tribulus is just a testosterone bridge. And PUMPKIN seeds. pumpkin seeds are GREAT.

-Kegel exercises. This is basically squeezing your bung closed and holding like that for 8-10 seconds. I’ll have another post on this later young Padawans. But doing kegels also helps you have better control over you prostate. While it doesn’t contribute to baby goo production, it help you last longer.
-Increase the amount of banana’s, avocado, pineapple (which also make you nut TASTE sweet. WHAT, you never fired a round into your own mouth. Don’t judge me), and kiwis.

-lose excess body fat.

The GF told me I was going to do this for a week, and we were going to only have sex 1-2 times during said week. After one week we waited 3 days and when we got home she was practically tearing my clothes off and well, EH-HMMM. Now the GF was penis crazy. As in she could stare at cock in amazement. And when I finally popped 3-4 minutes later *don’t judge me* she was amazed at the amount of throat yogurt she got. Once she had completely finished me off she exclaimed excitedly, “IT’S TOTALLY SWEET. ZOMG!!!!” See, besides the potassium in pineapples, the citrus make your nut taste sweet. TROOF. If a girl smokes, you can taste it if you do box construction.

Then, we waited 3 days and she wanted to SEE it. I was instructed, note that…she TOLD me to pull out (she used BC so I always dropped off my boys at the front door) so she could see the actual amount. Well when I popped and pulled out, I easily tripled the amount I normally go. And it lasted a good 10 seconds. The second salvo had enough trajectory to land in her eye. And we all know what happens when that goes down. She winced, covered her eye and let out a series of “aaaaghs, ARRRGH, aaaaagh’s. That night I learned a new sex move and if/when that occurs it is dubbed “the angry pirate”. Lol. But there was a definite and noticeable increase.

Well that was interesting. Hopefully SOMEONE gets something from this.   

Stay up.

Now in the interest of promoting civility and understanding of women, I present to you Lyndsy Fonseca eating an ice cream cone.


35 Comments on “ITLR- SOOOOO Money”

  1. redpillwifey says:

    A supplement to add to your list: Sunflower Lecithin, 3000mg a day.

    Not that I would know about such things first hand. Ahem.

  2. sunshinemary says:

    OK, I’m not going to pretend I understood everything you said here. 🙂 BUT the pineapple thing – I have heard ladies say that if a woman has some difficulty with, ahem, swallowing due to not caring for the taste, that having the man drink pineapple juice can sweeten the deal. So there are two upsides to eating pineapple/drinking pineapple juice.

  3. deti says:

    Like. You Peter Northed her at the end. Haha!

    And I do judge you.

  4. Vicomte says:

    God.

    Why did it have to be chocolate…

  5. Jesus Chris, every man needs to know this. I’m so reblogging this. ❤

    Oh, and btw, if you invented the angry pirate, do you know the 'Simba'? 😉

  6. MissMarie says:

    Great, Lion King AND Bambi rooned. Absolutely rooned!!!

  7. MissMarie says:

    You’d better hope nobody ever does it to me, because I’m going to bust out laughing and some poor guy is going to be so confused…

  8. Reblogged this on insideawomansmind and commented:
    Too much of a good thing is never enough. Men – read this!

  9. Hahaha. Danny what a crackup of a read. All good points, but hilariously written.

  10. […] dannyfrom504 – ITLR- SOOOOO Money […]

  11. Hamster Tamer says:

    Peter North, in his younger days, LULZ… but I’m thinking there may have been some pina colada mix added to the still photos. 😆


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