Cooking Game and Shit Tests

Just a quick post to offer a little gem I’ve used to flirt with a woman, and an easy way to blast a shit test out of the stratosphere.

Flirt; well, I’ve used this a LOT on the phone, in person, and more recently- texting.  You finally make a recommendation to hang out sometime (which your dumb-ass should have suggested right away), she asks what you had in mind. I’ll say/type, “I was hoping we could play this game I read about. It’s called making cumsies.” I can’t even take credit for this my boy Stig came up with it. BOP!!!!! Now it’s mine. It’s MONEY with strippers too. If she get in your lap, wait about 5 seconds, make a surprised face and comment, “Oops, I make cumsies”, and smile.

Trust me, cumsies is funny, sexual, and confident. It cuts to the chase, it’s original, and it gives the sexual validation that women love. NEVER had a girl not giggle when I say it.

Last night I posted my recipe for chicken Caesar salad. Girls ALWAYS shit test me about my cooking by suggesting I cook for them. I ALWAYS reply with the same answer. “Look, the only women I cook for are REALLY good friends or women I see naked on a frequent basis.” This can be used in MANY situations if you tailor the set up to meet the situation. Women KNOW when they asking you to do something for them that crosses the “appropriate” line. Helping a person with something minor is one thing. Going out of my way to do something princess should have better planned for or prepared for is another. Constantly asking for favors (or as I call them, “boyfriend duty” tasks) is simply inappropriate and rude. I typically handle these types of women with the following  hamster smash.

“Look, we’re cool. But we ain’t fucking.”

This leaves a woman with nowhere to go. She KNOWS she’s dealing with a man who will NOT supplicate, will stand his ground, and more importantly- stand up for himself and hold the frame. I’ve said before women shit test so much these days, because so many men are overly feminized. This is why you just can’t blame women for shit-testing. They can no longer gauge male dominance (which they’re programmed to desire) by social interaction. So this is a tool women use to test us. It’s simple evolution.

So go out there and smash some hamsters.

Stay up.

18 Comments on “Cooking Game and Shit Tests”

  1. Vicomte says:

    ESL Game.


    “Bonjour! Comment cava?”

    ‘What your name?’

    “Je m’appelle Jean-Claude. J’habite en France.”

    ‘You’re cute.’

    “Merci. Tu es jolie, aussi!”

    ‘I love your accent!’

    “Oops. I, uh–how you say–make cumsies. Je regrette.”

    If I knew any Italian, I could have said ‘I makeda cumsies, escuzzi.’ Which would have been much more funny.

  2. zorroprimo says:

    I will tell you this right now.

    And as God Almighty is my witness, and so is Danny from 504,

    This is the Mercurial Truth:

    The Way To A Woman’s Heart is Through Her Stomach.


    Seriously. You put a perfectly grilled DelMonico Steak in front of a girl with a twice baked Irish Potato and a nice salad with Balsamic vinegar dressing…and you have…

    instant screaming.

  3. MissMarie says:

    I can’t help it, Danny! Je ne sais pas…

  4. MissMarie says:

    I usually get goo returns on my french, sir… 😛

  5. Vicomte says:

    Tres facile…

  6. RojoC says:

    Good lesson here at the end, thank you.

    Danny, viy ochen horoshii uchitel’.

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