My Best-Friend Saved me from MarriagePosted: January 26, 2013
This is for the guys that have taken the red-pill and are considering marriage. I admit that I have no interest in marriage, but I DO prefer LTR’s to ONS’ing and serial dating. But I will wholeheartedly admit.
I ALMOST got married.
We’re all familiar with my living in Italy and Spain. Well, when I was at my A-school to become an HM in San Diego, I met a solid 8 in Tijuana. Met her 2 months before transferring to Charleston. I was DONE. She was great. I was considering staying in SD just to keep the relationship going. But I realized I joined the navy to travel. And I NEEDED to go to the east coast to be eligible for orders to Europe. Sadly, I ended it and told her I was being sent to Charleston.
She was cool about it, and I ended up in Charleston where I began my “player training” for the next 2 years where I had my first soft harem. Eventually, I was in Sicily, had my first local GF (lasted about 7 months), and was single for almost a year (I was too busy running all over Europe).
Just under a year of transferring I met Sonia. I’ve spoken about her before. About 3 months into it, I was hers. But….I was up for orders. I ended up getting orders to NO, and I was planning on getting out to go back to school. I had to end it, DESPITE wanting to stay with her. I KNEW I had to bring it up right away
How I met Sonia- I was in Catania in the infamous piazza collegio. I waved at her when she stopped walking with a friend. Now Italian girls are VERY receptive to flirtation. It’s simple, just say hello. They ALWAYS welcome meeting a new person. And per social norms, she’s “fast” if she approaches you. I number closed her and called her 2 days later and said I wanted to meet up for lunch. I met her at the bus-station (I didn’t have a car) and told her I didn’t know the city that well. Considering I spoke VERY good Italian I should have known she’d have sensed it was BS and told her I just didn’t know many good “tratorrie” for lunch. She recommended a small café and we had coffee (ok SHE had espresso and I had cappuccino) and ate. We walked around Catania where I escalated to holding hands, and eventually made out. She was VERY receptive to escalation.
On the second hang out she asked me about American food. She learned about my cooking and as I named some typical American dishes she suggested I make her something.
See where this is going.
She took a cab to my apartment in Motta, and I had already had the cooking jambalaya. She had NEVER had Cajun before. She hadn’t even heard the word before. I got her a glass of wine and showed her around the house. We sat and chatted in my palatial living room and talked and about every 10 minutes I went to check the rice. When it was done she dug in (Italian’s are PASSIONATE about eating) and of course she LOVED it. She went to the bathroom and came back naked.
I learned from my first local GF that most Italian girls LOVE anal sex. WINSAUCE.
Within 2 months she was staying at my pad in between semesters. I kept a drawer with some Lira in it so she could pay cabbies. See I was a millionaire in Sicily. It’s not normal for local guys to have their own place in their 20’s. Even more uncommon is for local guys to be APPRECIATIVE of women’s domestic crap. Within 3 months I was GONE. I was off the market. For the first time in my life I was considering marriage.
By this point in my life ALL my immediate friends were getting married and looking at me like a weirdo for not being married. I can honestly say Sonia was the first woman that made me re-prioritize my life. I was a happy-go-lucky Sailor spinning my wheels. Sonia made me want to get my shit together. I KNEW I needed to step up so I could support us.
I had NEVER thought that before.
I was about to leave Sicily and Sonia knew about it. I told her I didn’t want to stop seeing her, but if she decided to quit me, I’d understand. She was obviously upset, but said she understood and appreciated my honesty. I knew I needed advice. I was VERY conflicted.
I called my best friend. He had been with his GF for 10, read…..not married; but he finally proposed. made small talk (we hadn’t spoken in 3 years) when he finally asked me, “So….who is she?” I was dumbstruck. He mentioned me not talking to him for years and I always asked for girl advice from him. I gave the story and he paused.
“D….do you love this girl?” I immediately said yes.
“Ok….fair enough. Now. Can you imagine waking up everyday with this woman every day. For the rest of you LIFE?” I paused. I thought about it for a second. The MOMENT I spoke he stopped me.
“Nope….don’t do it. You aren’t ready.”
I asked him how he knew and he said both questions are vital to maintain a marriage. Any man that can’t answer immediately is NOT ready for marriage. “It’s like asking if you love your mother. OF COURSE you do. It’s the same with loving a woman. When you know. YOU.KNOW.”
About 2 months before I left I saw her less and less. One day I called her house and her mom informed me she had moved to Germany to stay with her sister. I was crushed. But I knew and understood why she moved.
I told my best friend when I got to NO. And he said, “D…..that girl’s gonna be hurt for a LONG time. This is gonna sting for a while. Don’t let it keep you from doing what you left her to do.” I knew what he was saying, but he was right. It stung.
It stung until I met the woman that became the root of my oneitis. To be continued tomorrow.
But the main point of this post is the parallels between the 2 women I mentioned. I cared VERY deeply for both and both were WAAAAAY too attractive for my dumb ass, but I put the priorities of my LIFE before them.
And I have ZERO regrets.
There have been women in and out of my life for as long as can I remember. As Deti has said, “there will always be another woman.” I know there are TONS of women out there. Right now, I’m a point in my life where a LTR is just a bad idea and I’ve told people I KNOW I won’t be in another LTR until I retire and get set up. TBH, if I DON’T it’s ok.
I always have Brody.
So remember guys. Make your destiny your priority. DO NOT make women your priority. Go where the road takes you. A good woman will happily follow you on your journey and break her neck to help you get there. When you do- time for a new journey.