Valentine’s DayPosted: February 4, 2013
valentine’s day is coming in and i thought i’d share a nice little tactic i use on women i’m seeing.
valentine’s day is a girls “tiara day” holiday. most guys dread it. i’m here to share with you a little used gift selection. i’ve used this MANY times in the clutch for a gift and have NEVER had it fail. it’s original, inexpensive, and is GUARANTEED to bring the tingles. every girl knows about it, but few have it. i have EX’s that refuse to part with this gift. and most guys are clueless to it.
–mother fucking build a bear.
for those of you that don’t know- build a bear is a store where you build a teddybear. you can choose the gender, attire, name (it gets a birth certificate), and any accessories you’d like. when i make a girl a build a bear, i design it to look like me (i get glasses for it) and ALWAYS rock boy outfits. then i tell her it’s “our son”. the hamster goes into multiple orgasms. Look, i got B a build a bear, and even after we quit talking and she claimed she hated me, when i ran into her when i got to florida she told me she still had it. she even got him a sister (and HOW do you think i knew she wanted to married despite claiming otherwise?). if said woman is as single mom and has a daughter, get one for the daughter. BAM!!!!! mommy moisture.
it CAN be expensive if you choose a fancy bear. but, the typical bear costs $15. the clothes cost around $7-10 per outfit. there MIGHT be one at your local mall. i learned about build a bear from my mom. she’d take a niece there for a major event and let her make her own bear. i saw the reaction it got from the niece and figured, “if it works so well on a 15 year old…” tried it on a girl i was seeing for her b-day and she went ape-shit.
i have YET to meet a woman who doesn’t know about build a bear. valentine gifts should NOT be expensive and flashy, and build a bear shows originality, creativity, and it’s unique. all qualities of gifts sure to make a woman moist.
if you’re thinking flowers, grab a hand grenade, shove it in your mouth, pull the pin, and paint the wall a new shade of you. be better than that. i’m not one to endorse a product, but i’ve always gotten rave reviews from shari’s berries. got these for lyssi on valentines day. i got a phone cal with her gushing about how much she liked them, and how she displayed them at work. now things had JUST STARTED for her and i and i knew she wasn’t really the sentimental type and she didn’t expect anything. that she’d told herself it’s a stupid holiday and blah, blah, blah. but i know wimminz. women LOVE to gloat- especially over VD (chez apropos). no woman wants to be the “girl that’s single and gets SHIT”.
personally, i LOVE valentines day. go to a hip bar on VD and you’ll find a legion of single woman “hating men” because they’re single. sounds like an ideal reason to AVOID going out. but, i’ve found that while they’re busy telling themselves how cool it is being single, deep down they LAMENT it. it makes approach easier. go full on cornball and send over the “i like you do you like me note”. then feed the hamster and AGREE how shitty valentines day is, then work the , “i find it hard to believe you’re single you seem so cool routine.” it’s kind of sad how easily this works.
trust me, i’ve used it MANY times.
so if you have a chick, and you’re stumped for a gift…..you’re welcome. now get off your sorry ass and stand out. trust- girls gonna remember you for this.