WGTODPosted: February 6, 2013
last night i discussed how to use a dog to your advantage when talking to a woman. this wasn’t learned from research *snicker….research a fucking post* rather via being a bonafide member of the super secret underground society of the “doggy community. and you know what, 60% of the time it works EVERY time *love anchorman*
first thing’s first. if she DOESN’T like dogs- RUN. she’s probably an alien spy chronicling human behavior before planning an invasion. that, or she’s just a soulless twat.
it has been my experience that you can tell a good amount of info by the type of dog a woman owns. whether i dated, was friends with, or just casual observation. dog parks are fucking money. i met a slamming hard 8 in san deezy that LOVED Brody. he actually used to pee on her- SWEAR to God. she found out her BF cheated on her and i asked her out. we went out a few time, but it fizzled out. i already had orders to spain. well, she had a rescue and a chihuahua.
let’s discuss WHY i asked her out. and it wasn’t just because i saw IOI’s. WHAT does a woman’s dog tell you about her personality. it’s actually VERY easy.
toy dog- chihuahua, yorkie, pekingese, pomeranian, etc. this is usually the choice of a GIRLY girl. possibly a trend follower girl as well. she def likes chick flicks and until she actually has a kid, she WILL treat the dog like it’s her child. the dog sates her desire to nurture and mommy something. she’s also more high maintenance.
rescue- she’s gone to an animal shelter and adopted an abandoned dog. usually a cool, girl next door type. probably a good call for a LTR. also usually a bit older; as in, over 24. very likely choice for a woman that’s got a heart, but frugal. nothing wrong with that.
breed specific- the choice of breed usually reflects on the person’s lifestyle. a few examples.
Labrador retriever- outdoorsy girl. possibly a runner. but this is a girl that’ll happily go camping with you. she LOVES being outside. yet, she’s a traditional, care-free girl. low maintenance.
bulldog- i’ve ALWAYS been amazed at how many women love bulldogs. it’s been my experience that bulldog loving women LOVE, i mean CRAVE alpha men. you CANNOT be wishy washy with this woman. she shit tests at any sign of weakness. she loves to sit back at the house and watch TV. she is perfectly content sitting at your side and just enjoying your company. she’s protective, but will not bother you when you want “you time”, she knows you’ll be back soon enough.
pit bull- i’ve been shocked at the number of women i’ve know that have pits. see above. oh, and she’s probably got a few tattoo’s and know what “suicide girl’s” is.
my go to guide for learning about dogs based on individual breed is http://www.dogbreedinfo.com not only does it have excellent explanations about dogs, but gives instructions on training, proper HUMAN behavior, and great explanations on the nature of canines. if you woman doesn’t own one of the breeds/types listed here, go to said site and git yer learn on.
hell, let’s even apply this to me. i linked Brody’s breed description and i can honestly say- i VERY much resemble a staffy. i’m loyal, protective, adore my family, play hard, work hard, i’m goofy (PLEASE someone argue with me on this one), i’m small, and intelligent (debatable, i know). i’m friends with a few of my readers, PLEASE….anyone of you, read the “temperament” section of a staffy and tell me that doesn’t describe me to a tea.
now get out there and have some fun.
it was a GREAT day today. see, my family is VERY close. when i was a child we used to go to my aunt charlottes for a family reunion type thing. the men drank beer and cooked. the women drank wine, cooked, and complained about the men. and us kids played in the pool. interestingly enough all of clan gutierrez married 100% red-blooded cajuns. and let me tell you something- cajuns are some hearty individuals. we love, work, and play harder than ANYONE you’ll ever meet.
well me and my mom-n-them (regional reference FTW) met up with my paw-paw’s sister carmen at her assisted living center to witness her being dubbed a maid in the 2013 royal court (it’s a mardi gras thing). then we ate and talked. now i haven’t seen these people in almost 20 years. as man of this the family, i have a specific role. i didn’t sit down (no room) and i’m the youngest in the group, so i had to stand. i was the “go-boy”. i didn’t eat until all my aunts and cousins (they’re older than me) ate. one of my one cousins (female) usually fills in this role, but she ain’t the youngest- so i did it. secondly- i’m security. i was constantly scanning the room for anything i thought could be trouble. funny thing is- i’m programmed to do it. lol. it’s IMPOSSIBLE for me to switch off.
all in all it was a great visit. then we headed to a VERY famous bakery to pick up some king cakes (again, a mardi gras thing) my bay sis made. now i’m at paw-paws watching foodtv and drinking beer with him. great day. tomorrow i’m off to take a “friend” *wink wink, nudge nudge* to the range to go shooting, then housing some vietnamese goodness.
I forgot to put this up- was watching wheel of fortune with paw-paw and the puzzle had 3 words. The last 3 letters of the first word ended with -ing. Zero letters visible on the second word. Last word ended in -r. I was writing this post and watching the show when paw-paw blurted out, “banging your sister.”
I almost spit my beer out laughing. Lol.