Avoiding her Negative EnergyPosted: February 9, 2013
A commenter asked me to elaborate on this so i thought i’d try to explain it in more detail. i guess i should have realized it would need to be explained in better detail, so i’ll try. it’s common knowledge that women are emotional creatures.
this can be broken down into 2 camps- she’s not upset with you; just upset. and she’s upset with you.
one of the women i work with is HIGHLY volatile. she goes hay-wire VERY easily. and when she does….no one wants to talk to or deal with her. i and one other person get along with her just fine. when i go into her area and she’s spun, she’ll be vexed, flighty, irrational, angry, sad…..you get the picture. well, when she’s in this state and she’s going off, i simply listen to her, nod, and throw out the occasional, “yeah, i can see how that would upset you.” then i move on to something else.
i side-step her negative energy.
this happens to many women under distress. your job as a man is to LISTEN, support, and LISTEN. where many men fail is they try to solve whatever is causing her being upset. wrong move. she doesn’t want you to solve anything. when a woman is upset and comes at you all- “DAH DAH DAH DAH DAH DAH DAH!!!!!!” simply side step it, and do not go to her level. just stay calm and focused, but DO NOT accept her negative energy. just be cool.
had a gf that had a shit day at work and she pissy. she wasn’t really being an ass to me, but i could tell how stressed she was. i asked her about her day and the floodgates were opened. she droned on about work, her boss, one of her co-workers…..you know the drill. so i listened and nodded, and finally said, “well i can certainly see why you’re upset.” that’s phase one. once she’s unloaded i’ll give her some time to collect her thoughts, then out of the blue, i’ll approach her from behind, wrap my arms around her stomach, kiss her neck and compliment her on how much i like (insert any compliment here).
now, part 2. what do you do when she’s upset at something you did. this one’s tricky and difficult to post about. but it basically comes down to listen to her, HONESTLY listen to why she’s upset. once she’s told you and it’s your turn, explain why you made the decision you did. if you are sincerely in the wrong apologize, but ONLY ONCE. especially if you feel justified in your decision.
it’s very likely she’ll escalate the anger. the madder she get’s the calmer i get. which doesn’t help, but as i said before- DO NOT accept her negativity. if she continues to escalate i’ll tell her, “i realize you’re upset, and i do want to discuss this, but we can’t accomplish anything while you’re this worked up.” and i’ll walk away. will it piss her off, YES. but you’re already in a corner. best to regroup by letting her calm down and broach the subject a little later.
however, DO follow up. DO NOT ignore the issue. trust me…..she isn’t going to forget about it. and you lose points if you don’t close the issue.
dealing with her being emotional and upset at something not related to you is much easier than when she IS upset with you, but- it is what it is. but listen to her, be her rock, and support her and you’ll walk away relatively unscathed.
Mardi Gras Update-
took Paw-Paw to krewe of centurions tonight and had a *ahem* friend come out to watch the parade with her daughter. it was a really fun time. girls kid LOVES me. i had to pick her up so she could be closer to the floats. then took Paw Paw to cafe du monde for coffee and beignets. it was a great night.
update- there’s an update to the story i posted yesterday. funny how they clean their shit up when they actually get help accountable for thier bullshit.