Domestic Abuse and Poor Decision Making

a blogger had posted a few days ago, and it both angered me, and made me completely sick.

my mom stayed married for 11 years to a demon that beat the fuck out of me on a weekly basis and sexually molested me over a brief period (mom left a year later). hell, when i was just over a year i was beaten so badly that my mom left. he SWORE it would never happen again, but she went back. so this article kinda hits home. on a second front, i hear stories like this ALL.THE.TIME. in the military. the fact that she dumped her husband while he was in afghanistan is fucking reprehensible. i’ve never understood women that stay with abusive men- their hamsters are the WORST.

the sad thing is the effect it had on her 2 kids. the children usually are the ones that suffer the most. yet, mom will be painted out as the victim. despite leaving her husband, despite the risk she exposed her children to, depsite deciding to shack up with an ex-con.

and people wonder why i refuse to get married. society will have to forgive me from sheilding myself from the legion of american women just the one mentioned in this article. but what i find particularlly sad, is IF the husband didn’t take her back and filed for divorce; do you think he’d get custody of the kids- EVEN under the argument of infidelity (with an ex-con no less) and endangering their children?

i wouldn’t count on it.

20 Comments on “Domestic Abuse and Poor Decision Making”

  1. Add another one to the growing piled of crimes tied back to feminism

  2. Youre right. Men who beat and abuse their women and/or kids are f*cking monsters and pathetic excuses for men. And the women who STAY and put their kids through that are just as bad.

    The problem is, that the abuse doesn’t start overnight, it’s a slow overtaking of her half of the soccer field, until she’s huddled in a corner with no breathing room and no confidence.

    It doesnt change a thing, though. There is -always- a way out and if you have kids and you dont leave, youre an accomplish.

  3. Vicomte says:

    Once, after a series of unfortunate events, I found myself in a group therapy session with a number of women, many whom either were currently in or had been in abusive relationships.

    You can’t talk to these people. It’s all denial and ‘don’t blame the victim’.

    One woman–by far the most masculine of the group–actually made some sense. She told me that she knew her husband was a piece of shit when she married him, and when I asked why she married him, she got this dreamy look and sighed, ‘Because he was handsome…’.

    As Rollo would say, hypergamy doesn’t care.

  4. Ashley says:

    It’s not about being a bad mom and it’s not about being an idiot. Many women who are abused undergo a psychological change that makes them unable to make the proper decision to leave. They don’t see it the way the outsiders do.

    • dannyfrom504 says:

      Ash- that’s your hamster talking, sorry. and i appreciate you partaking in the discussion. but-

      i’m not an outsider (not that you were saying i was). i was severely beaten throughout my childhood and had my father force phallatio on me when i was in 2-3rd grade. i think that pretty much makes me an “insider” to the issue. why did my mom stay- she wanted us to have a relationship with our father.

      after ELEVEN YEARS, she finally realized he’d never change. i was only in 4th grade and hearing mom say she was leaving was the best news i had ever heard at the time. i haven’t spoken to my father in 10 years.

      fuck him.

    • anonymous says:

      Get your emotional hamster out of it danny and use logic. You’ll never see it like a rational outsider because you aren’t a rational outsider on this topic.

      Psychologists, neuroscientists, hundreds of scientific studies support what Ashley just said. It’s not her hamster talking, it’s reality.

      Get out of your bubble and find some therapy.

  5. Ashley says:

    Danny, I’m sorry that happened to you. That must have been a terrible experience. I wasn’t trying to make a judgement on your personal past. My comment was pointed more towards what insideawomansmind said. I was trying to explain why so many women who are with abusive men find it hard to leave, and often when they do they will go back. It’s also why they form a pattern of seeking abusive partners. It’s a fact that abused partners come to be in a much different state of mind. which impairs their judgement towards having happy relationships and impairs their ability to make healthy choices for their lives and their children’s well being,
    Children of abusive parents usually go on to have issue with their perspective on romantic relationships as well, even become either physically and/or emotionally abusive as well, and they often have to dedicate a conscious effort to break the cycle.

    I am no stranger to domestic abuse. I have never been directly physically assaulted by a partner but I grew up in the environment off and on my entire life, and still do deal with it, which is why I have chosen it as a platform for me to work and volunteer in.

  6. Faust says:

    Shit, man. That’s some nasty stuff.

    I think you’re making the right choice, though. The same woman who’ll happily run back to an abusive boyfriend won’t think a minute about leaving a nice, decent guy behind and taking everything he’s worth. Doesn’t matter if they can’t help it. It’s still not anything a sane mane would want to sign up for.

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