ITLR- Proper Bar Behavior for MenPosted: March 18, 2013 | |
went to the local last night for some UFC goodness (GSP CRUSHED IT!!!!!), and i noticed a lot of things that bothered me from the guys there. so i’m taking it upon myself to educmacate you lads as to proper manly bar behavior. now…….the local is a sports bar called gator’s dockside. it’s a sports bar/wing place. pretty family friendly joint. i know 90% of the staff: managers, barkeeps, servers, and kitchen. they take care of me. so, how do you get your alpha on at your local.
order drinks apropos. men are only allowed to order: beer or whiskey. PERIOD. if the shot is called: lemondop, blueberry screamer, etc= PUSSY. if it’s fruit based you fail. if it’s whiskey based you MIGHT get a pass. keep it basic and order a beer and a jameson double. for the record, i’m not allowed to drink jameson at my local anymore. don’t ask. one of the readers is a bartender and i’m SURE she can guess why.
pick a place. if you frequent a local establishment, pick a spot at the bar and STICK to it. i have a seat, and all 4 of the bartenders know it. if someone’s in my spot, they will alert me when the tab is paid and i can take over MY spot. which leads to….
your spot. last night i was watching the fight and a dude and his chick came in. now prior to, i moved my seat in a manner that gave the seat next to me little to no room. his chick sat and the stool next to me sat open (he stood up). i kept that frame until i’d had a few brief comments with them both and he felt comfortable sitting down. i even scooted over a bit and he thanked me. had he just sat down i wouldn’t have budged and made a point to make him VERY uncomfy sitting down. i’d have farted, moved in a manner that brushed up against him, bumped into him, you get the idea.
be a boss when you get in. beta= mind if i sit her?. alpha= anyone sitting here? seems trivial, but it speaks VOLUMES to men of the tribe. i’ll NEVER ask a dude permission to sit in a public place. but i WILL be polite and ask if anyone is using the seat. if not, i TAKE the seat.
once you become a regular, get friendly with the staff; starting with the bartenders. then the servers (especially the female servers), then the kitchen staff. the cooks are the hardest to know because they don’t come out often. well, Danny has brought food to the local and dropped it off in the kitchen most of the time. and guess what- if i order 10 wings, i somehow end up with 15. if i order something that included fries, it magically come out with cheese fries (they know i love cheese fries).
seems trivial, i know. but the art of manliness is on the decline and it’s my mission to keep it alive. so sack up, be excellent.
my girl So-So came by to pick up a computer stand (told you fuckers i was getting rid of my shit and getting a travel trailer) and as she keyed the lock Brody went apeshit at the door. So-So laughed and and told her friend to come in. the friend asked, “is he going to bite me?” lol. So-So assured her that Brody wouldn’t but my girl texted me that our co-worker was VERY nervous about walking in. that is until Brody approached her and applied his licking therapy to her. lol. LOVE my boy. see, if he knows you, you’re fine. if he DOESN’T he becomes 40lbs of teeth and fury. So-So dog sat him more than once and knows him VERY well. he’s actually kept someone from breaking into her place.